RobMc

At least she keeps her pussy

Dedicated to @monkie who I know is a great fan, now before I start I know nothing about football and had to look these people up, but you'll get the idea, can be altered to any sport in your country. It's 2006, and Stuart Pearce the manager of Manchester City is talking to his new signing Joe Hart from Shrewsbury Town a lowly non league club. 'Well Joe are you settling in?, is the new house ok?, sorry it doesn't have a pool but we'll keep looking', said Stuart Pearce 'OK ???, it's fabulous, I shared a room with another player at Shrewsbury ', replied Joe ' Aye well you're with Man City now Joe, different world, is your car ok? thought you'd like the Ferrari', said Stuart 'OK ???, it's fabulous, I used to get the bus at Shrewsbury ' said Joe ' Aye well you're with a top Class club now Joe ' said Stuart 'Nothing spared, now your first game here's what I want you to do, get up those wings and get the crosses into their box, and we'll pull you off at half time ' 'Fck me, we only got an orange at Shrewsbury', said Joe

McDonalds huh? you old romantic Sammy

IF ONLY DADDY HAD NAMED ME 'BILLY BONER', THE WORLD WOULD BE AT MY FEET. Signed Robert Smalldick

Argos scraps ‘two-man' delivery phrase after customers claim terminology is 'sexist' (gbnews.uk) Actors to get nudity warning in anti-bullying move for TV work, union says - BBC News That's porn on the way out boys

This was the best ffs ??? Edinburgh Fringe's funniest joke award given to pasta pun (gbnews.uk) sad

Danny's bar tomorrow night, wear that green frock xxx, don't worry she'll shave

Hell no, takes me 2 bottles of wine

Watched them once, found them boring, never watched again, everyone to their own

Thanks buddy, we must compare notes on tenon saws sometime, my joints are getting loose

Good idea - I need it

A Scotsman gets a start on a high rise building site in London, being the new boy (and Scottish) no one speaks to him at first. Around 1000 he's busting for a pee, so he approaches the foreman 'Where's the toilet ?' he asks The foreman glances at him and points up at the tower crane above the site, 'we go out on the end of the jib and pee over the side' he says' Looking at the foreman uncertainly he replies 'isn't that dangerous ?' 'Oh don't worry, the crane driver is used to it, he stops and keeps an eye on you' said the foreman So desperate and hanging on the Scotsman goes to the end of the jib, he just whips it out and the crane moves, he plummets 14 storey's to his death. At the inquest a witness, 82 year old Mary, who was watering her tulips in a flower box in the flats opposite stands up 'Did you see the incident ?' ask's the judge 'and what was your opinion of the accident' 'I did' she replies ' I think it was because he was a sex maniac' The court went quiet, and the judge gave her a puzzled look 'A sex maniac, how did you deduce that ?' Well I'd just fed Tiddles my cat, and was watering my flower box on the balcony, when a man went hurtling past with his cock in his hand shouting - CUNT ! '

Writing poems is really hard WTF?, think I'm a Bard? But for you my friend ,who knows? I might make up a bit of prose

Sammy my boy, are you absolutely sure you're cut out to be an idiot ??????

Bless her, see boys blondes ain't dumb ? Usually in car parks at night dear, and you?

Your finger is always welcomed You're right buddy, society is on the point of crumbling entirely, I used to shake my head at the news, now I just stare in disbelief at what I see people accepting as normal.

Yep, I remember a time when scientists said Budman couldn't drink, by fck did he put that theory to bed aged 5? I thought the Big Bang was a special offer at the local cathouse?? what do I know?

One small love bite, one large fart, and she flew off never to be seen again, story of my life.

She let me down once too often

I'm hijacking my own posts now you fckrs

No, but he has two 'Far Right',- 'far better far right' keep your signals nice and bright don't go turning left again it causes us a load of pain wave to the people on your right don't go giving them a fright but for the fckrs on the left a single finger is quite deft Dedicated to @Sourtap

Yea but 'Far Right' to you Pete starts with Homer Simpson, there is apparently only 'Far Right' for anyone disagreeing with Liberal/Socialist rhetoric, aka 'The Far Left'

Well spotted Sammy, the outrage is because a man was appointed when of course they can't have periods, HOWEVER equality laws state that you cannot prevent people having jobs because of their gender. So the outrage is (legally) unfounded, what goes around comes around girls, men can do ladies jobs too. I suppose the real test will happen when a male applies to be given the free tampons, after all if you can apparently breastfeed now, I'm sure that's ok? Fucking barking mad the lot of them.

When men were men and women women, be offended snowflakes

As the main Cunt in these forums I thank you sir