WeednFeed Posted January 15, 2011 Member ID: 433 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 43 Topic Count: 369 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 2658 Content Per Day: 0.46 Reputation: 4267 Achievement Points: 26967 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 48 Joined: 09/17/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 7 hours ago Birthday: 05/28/1957 Device: Macintosh Posted January 15, 2011 California The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural. The coyote proceeds to kill the dog. The Governor calls Animal Control. They capture the coyote and bill the State $200 for disease testing it and $500 for relocating it. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting getting his bite wound bandaged and getting checked for diseases from the coyote. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State. Montana The Governor of Montana is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog. 1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol. The dog is unharmed. The Governor and dog keep jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote. And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Montana is not. Awards
Dark Asylumn Posted January 15, 2011 Member ID: 809 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 41 Topic Count: 252 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 2840 Content Per Day: 0.50 Reputation: 1032 Achievement Points: 20424 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 11/29/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Tuesday at 01:17 PM Birthday: 06/25/1979 Device: Windows Posted January 15, 2011 Amen Awards
Half-A-100 Posted January 15, 2011 Member ID: 600 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 15 Topic Count: 16 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 125 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 14 Achievement Points: 840 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/20/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: June 24 Birthday: 01/25/1958 Device: Windows Posted January 15, 2011 I second the Amen - Government can sure complicate simple things Awards
TBB Posted January 16, 2011 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 292 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 21304 Content Per Day: 3.76 Reputation: 22971 Achievement Points: 152686 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 414 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Online Last Seen: 14 minutes ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Posted January 16, 2011 Amen again. Awards
WeednFeed Posted January 16, 2011 Member ID: 433 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 43 Topic Count: 369 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 2658 Content Per Day: 0.46 Reputation: 4267 Achievement Points: 26967 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 48 Joined: 09/17/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 7 hours ago Birthday: 05/28/1957 Device: Macintosh Author Posted January 16, 2011 Life was so simple before politics and Lawyers Awards
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