Shamu Posted September 8, 2011 Member ID: 715 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 8 Topic Count: 418 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 2178 Content Per Day: 0.38 Reputation: 1183 Achievement Points: 16606 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 11/09/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 2, 2023 Birthday: 11/04/1943 Posted September 8, 2011 Rules for Pets..........(Posted very low on therefrigerator) Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain yourfood. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in themiddle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your foodand dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me tothe bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall fasterthan you can run.I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorryabout this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure yourcomfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to thefullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out andhaving tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing butsarcasm.For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If,by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is notnecessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under theedge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door Ientered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/felineattendance is not required.The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog orcat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on thefront door:TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:(1) They live here. You don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.That's why they call it 'fur'-niture. (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who areshort, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they: (1) eat less, (2) don't ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car,(6) don't smoke or drink, (7) don't want to wear your clothes, ( don't have to buy the latest fashions, (9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and (10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children .....
RD Posted September 8, 2011 Member ID: 2520 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 5 Topic Count: 50 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 627 Content Per Day: 0.12 Reputation: 48 Achievement Points: 3748 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/23/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 16, 2018 Birthday: 08/18/1953 Posted September 8, 2011 +100 This is perfect. need to put up flyers around the house and the front door.
blackcat Posted September 8, 2011 Member ID: 122 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 64 Topic Count: 266 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 2852 Content Per Day: 0.50 Reputation: 2051 Achievement Points: 21967 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 4 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 5, 2024 Birthday: 10/10/1964 Device: Android Posted September 8, 2011 I thought this was really cute, and lol pretty much on the money. I copied it and posted it as a note on my facebook. I hope you don't mind. If you do I will remove it, or you can just shoot me.. Whichever is okay with me... Awards
Dstraktd Posted September 8, 2011 Member ID: 2794 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 0 Topic Count: 15 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 186 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 0 Achievement Points: 1080 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/06/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: March 19, 2012 Birthday: 11/11/1976 Posted September 8, 2011 Good stuff!
PigDog Posted September 8, 2011 Member ID: 222 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 88 Topic Count: 331 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 3847 Content Per Day: 0.67 Reputation: 1628 Achievement Points: 25635 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/04/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 1 Birthday: 02/05/1968 Device: Windows Posted September 8, 2011 LMAO.....oh my god that is some funny shit. Awards
Shamu Posted September 8, 2011 Member ID: 715 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 8 Topic Count: 418 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 2178 Content Per Day: 0.38 Reputation: 1183 Achievement Points: 16606 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 11/09/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 2, 2023 Birthday: 11/04/1943 Author Posted September 8, 2011 blackcat I thought this was really cute, and lol pretty much on the money. I copied it and posted it as a note on my facebook. I hope you don't mind. If you do I will remove it, or you can just shoot me.. Whichever is okay with me... Copy and paste away, anything I put up here is more than welcome t be passed around.
blackcat Posted September 9, 2011 Member ID: 122 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 64 Topic Count: 266 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 2852 Content Per Day: 0.50 Reputation: 2051 Achievement Points: 21967 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 4 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 5, 2024 Birthday: 10/10/1964 Device: Android Posted September 9, 2011 Thanks ! Awards
Labob Posted September 9, 2011 Member ID: 42 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 50 Topic Count: 338 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 8389 Content Per Day: 1.46 Reputation: 6126 Achievement Points: 54468 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 13 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 22 Birthday: 01/30/1959 Device: Windows Posted September 9, 2011 Told you I could train old people. Awards
Labob Posted September 9, 2011 Member ID: 42 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 50 Topic Count: 338 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 8389 Content Per Day: 1.46 Reputation: 6126 Achievement Points: 54468 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 13 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 22 Birthday: 01/30/1959 Device: Windows Posted September 9, 2011 Now I have to reprogram a Budsr something Awards
Pharticus Posted September 9, 2011 Member ID: 1320 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 7 Topic Count: 37 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 611 Content Per Day: 0.11 Reputation: 357 Achievement Points: 4498 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/10/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: November 22, 2024 Birthday: 01/14/1976 Device: Windows Posted September 9, 2011 TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS: (1) They live here. You don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.That's why they call it 'fur'-niture. (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who areshort, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly. I get so tired of the "pets are people too" argument. No dammit! They're food! Awards
TBB Posted September 9, 2011 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 290 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 20511 Content Per Day: 3.66 Reputation: 22517 Achievement Points: 148073 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 394 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 36 minutes ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Posted September 9, 2011 lmao - thanks Awards
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