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Do Not Put On Knob And Bollocks


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Just read the reviews! I'm dying here! Funniest thing I've read in a while.

 

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/cr/B000KKNQBK/ref=aw_d_cr_drugstore

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Some HOT reviews here :thumbup:

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I discovered a new hobby thanks to my fellow idiots: reading product reviews!

 

Veet you sick B****rds.........Why?????

stars-5-0._V152890190_.gif 1 May 2012 By Broken Man

 

Having carefully read the reviews here, I felt everyone had overreacted and went about purchasing three tubes of what I considered to be nothing more than a mildly aggressive moisturiser. Pleased with my bravery I rushed home and duly went about slathering this "cream" over my marvellous pendulous orbs and sat back for 15 minutes to allow it to work its magic on my Johnson mane which I'm told bares a close resemblance to Clarkson's barnet from the early nineties.

 

Now and only now do I fully understand the comparisons to Napalm, hot magma and nuclear waste............the temperature rose from what was initially a mild sauté, to a less bearable roasting and culminated in what felt like a deep fry in Mount Etna's core. At this fiery stage I took what I thought was the right action and jumped into the shower to remove Satan's tears off my now weeping unit................big mistake. The chemical reaction was akin to a weapons test using thermite and my once glorious topiary slid off in one clean section, burnt through the floor and into my living room where my unsuspecting wife thought she was being attacked by a smouldering ferret.

 

Worse was still to come as my Jacobs swelled to the size and appearance of a pair of basketball as a result of my `baby batter' cooking under the intense and relentless heat and forming Yorkshire puddings, with proportions that would make Ramsey & Oliver jealous. 8 months later and the doctors have helped my mobility by crafting a sack sling from a pair of woks and on a positive note Aunt Bessie is keen to discuss a lucrative advertising campaign.

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I had to take a break from reading them. I was laughing so hard that I went into an asthma attack.

 

There's so many that are hysterical! This is just a few of them: "It was as if I had lowered my under-carriage through a volcano and into Hades, whereupon Beelzebub, annoyed by the uninvited intrusion, jabbed me in the rectum with his fork."

"Sweet Baby Jesus deliver me from this torment"

"The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing."

 

ROTFL!!!!

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OMG!!!! How the hell did you find this??? This is the most entertaining read I have had in years!! I'm thinking of purchasing some to have handy, you know, just in case Angus gets out of line (if he does he should sleep with one eye open) LOL!!!!

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TY burning, that was a great site. I needed a huge laugh like that after work. :thumbup:

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Custumers reviews are funny :hrhr: Great link but not for me...

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colorful wording in thoughs revues

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You can kind of tell that one person wrote a lot of the reviews, but they are still gut busting hilarious. I have tears streaming down my face as I read some of these to my wife. I need to make a list of all the names they've used for male genitals.

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Old_man me as well pissing my pants

 

Yeah but you do that regularly anyway. That's what I sent you the Depends for.

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OMG!!!! How the hell did you find this??? This is the most entertaining read I have had in years!! I'm thinking of purchasing some to have handy, you know, just in case Angus gets out of line (if he does he should sleep with one eye open) LOL!!!!

 

LOL A friend posted in on Facebook and there's no telling where she got it from. I am bookmarking it to read again when I need a good laugh. I don't know if the reviews are legit but it's funny anyway.

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