NORESPECT4U Posted November 29, 2015 Member ID: 3708 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 19 Topic Count: 50 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 156 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 244 Achievement Points: 1702 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/05/12 Status: Offline Last Seen: November 12, 2023 Device: iPhone Share Posted November 29, 2015 A cowboy named Billy was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in eastern Oregon when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni[emoji768] suit, Gucci[emoji768] shoes, RayBan[emoji768] sunglasses and YSL[emoji768] tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" Billy looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell[emoji768] notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3[emoji768] cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop[emoji768] and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot[emoji768] that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL[emoji768] database through an ODBC connected Excel[emoji768] spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry[emoji768] and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet[emoji768] printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Billy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then Billy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Billy. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog." hxtr, Merlin007, JohnnyDos and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Gatorgirl Posted November 29, 2015 Member ID: 2986 Group: ++++ Senior Admin Followers: 206 Topic Count: 384 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 6454 Content Per Day: 1.42 Reputation: 7140 Achievement Points: 50699 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 21 Joined: 11/13/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: Monday at 10:08 PM Birthday: 12/19/1967 Device: iPhone Share Posted November 29, 2015 Good one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Merlin007 Posted November 29, 2015 Member ID: 2068 Group: +++ COD5 Head Admin Followers: 69 Topic Count: 1073 Topics Per Day: 0.22 Content Count: 8434 Content Per Day: 1.73 Reputation: 7291 Achievement Points: 74913 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 64 Joined: 12/25/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 8 hours ago Birthday: 05/23/1973 Device: Android Share Posted November 29, 2015 LOL. Good one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
TBB Posted November 29, 2015 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 265 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18137 Content Per Day: 3.47 Reputation: 20152 Achievement Points: 132914 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 263 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 5 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted November 29, 2015 lmao - thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Hunter1948 Posted November 30, 2015 Member ID: 1850 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 98 Topic Count: 328 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 8620 Content Per Day: 1.74 Reputation: 4222 Achievement Points: 55994 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 5 Joined: 09/29/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: November 29, 2023 Birthday: 06/19/1948 Device: Windows Share Posted November 30, 2015 Good one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
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