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Everything posted by DEEJAYKEG
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All you Americans...smile! The British Medical Journal reports: "The oral health of US citizens is not better than the English, and there are consistently wider educational and income oral health inequalities in the US compared with England." (That being said, try to find an NHS dentist over here, these days! I had to go private!) http://metro.co.uk/2015/12/17/britain-actually-has-better-teeth-than-the-us-5570752
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Download and support The Salvation Army's valuable work, please:
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What are you planning on doing for Christmas?
DEEJAYKEG replied to BigPapaDean's topic in General Discussion
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Is his name "Tyson"? http://youtu.be/NcICEN7omZA
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The Wife said she want's to go here for her holidays
DEEJAYKEG replied to Sonovabich's topic in Jokes and Misc stuff
Have you booked up for Turkey in 2016 yet or will you be going elsewhere? -
Guts vs Balls There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard of people having Guts or having Balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions: GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?' BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the backside and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.' I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome. Both are fatal.
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Star Wars Theme - Guitar Orchestra
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Dec 7th - A date which will live in infamy
DEEJAYKEG replied to loaderXI's topic in General Discussion
Winston Churchill was greatly relieved when Hitler declared war on the United States several days later, thus bringing an ally to the UK's side. Had the USA remained neutral in Europe, the outcome could have been greatly different. -
One day a father, on his way home from work suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, "How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?" The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95 Shopping Barbie for $19.95 Beach Barbie for $19.95 Disco Barbie for $19.95 Astronaut Barbie for $19.95 Skater Barbie for $19.95 and Divorced Barbie for $265.95 The amazed father asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?" The salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers, "'Sir..., the Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Truck, Ken's House, Ken's Fishing Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Dog, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made from Ken's testicles.
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I had to look that up and still didn't find it. A "nip" can mean a small measure of spirit like whisky or brandy or a superficial bite from a dog etc. SOB's examples are in common use throughout the land. One can also "nip [something] in the bud" meaning to stop it developing. An earlier form, dating from at least 1595, is to "nip in the bloom". In motoring law in this country, NIP stands for a "Notice of Intended Prosecution" that must be served on a suspected offender within 14 days of the commission of an offence. If someone or something is "nippy", it is able to move quickly. The adjective also means "chilly". I like words...
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Two blondes were filling up at a gas station and the first blonde says to the second, "I bet these awful gas prices are going to go even higher." The second blonde replies, "Won't affect me, I always put in just £10 worth." ~~~~~ One day, Jill's husband came home from the office and found her sobbing convulsively. "I feel terrible," she told him. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers." "Forget it," consoled her husband. "Remember that I bought an extra pair of pants for that suit." "Yes, and it's lucky for you that you did," said Jill, drying her eyes. "I used them to patch the hole." ~~~~~ Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said, "Look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, "Where?" ~~~~~ A blonde decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her blonde friend from next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size. "Buffy," she said, "How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?" "Ten," said Buffy. So the blonde bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job, but she had 2 rolls leftover. "Buffy," she said. "I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 2 leftover!" "Yes," said Buffy. "So did I." ~~~~~ A blonde bought two horses and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut off the tail of one horse, which worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. The second horse's tail tore in the same place and looked exactly like the other horse's tail. Our blonde friend was stuck again. The neighbor then suggested that she notch the ear of one horse, which worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again, our blonde friend couldn't tell the two horses apart. The neighbor then suggested that she measure the horses for height. When she did that, the blonde was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black one. ~~~~~ Blonde Interview: The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with any person, living or dead, who would that be?" The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."
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Forgive a second bite at this particular cherry but there has been much rage by the student population in the UK recently and an old chestnut that I find particularly annoying resurfaced. We have an enhanced culture of entitlement, irrespective or merit or worth, that suggests everyone has a "right" to be educated (to whatever level and in whatever discipline or topic the individual rather than the state or a sponsor may choose). I have had to correct a younger friend who thought university education was a "human right" - that isn't what the UDHR says. (See Article 26 on the right to free fundamental education.) No, legions of philosophy and media studies graduates will not raise the GDP of any nation... I yearn for the establishment of an institution that teaches self-reliance, common sense and a sense of duty. Oh...wait one moment...one exists! It's called THE ARMED FORCES!!!
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A married couple in their early 60s are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.' The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.' The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands. The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.' The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.! So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!... The husband became 92 years old. The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female......
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Feel free to tag your own victim(s)!
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I was sad to read of this further health problem, mate, especially after all you went through with your neck! At least some of the chaps have been able to suggest possible remedies whilst you get through this. Personally, I'd stick to explosives rather than rifles (or, more accurately, stick explosives to other players! ). You're in my prayers, as always.
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Now Phuc says he's a hoaxer! http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-34918491
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A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he says. The two Englishmen just stare at him. "Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" The two continue to stare. "Parlare Italiano?" No response. "Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first Englishman turns to the second and says, "Maybe we should learn a foreign language..." "Why?" says the other, "That bloke knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."
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Disguised international singing superstar joins an audition for Adele impersonators. This is funny!
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Man called Phuc Dat Bich posts passport to Facebook after being repeatedly banned from sitehttp://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/phuc-dat-bich-vietnameseaustralian-man-shares-photo-of-passport-to-prove-his-real-name-a3119161.html
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Friendlies are, by definition, usually irrelevant but this match ranks as one of the most important ever. France's defeat was, naturally, excusable in the circumstances - the whole squad demonstrated a type of bravery rarely seen on a football pitch, especially the bereaved Diarra. The actual score was irrelevant as the true victory was of civilisation over barbarism. God keep you all safe as the battle against the forces of evil and destruction continues! Le jour de gloire est arrivé!