RobMc

Thats part of the problem, every time we ask you to a party theres a fight, plus you impregnate our women and carry them off, you're worse than the bloody Vikings? Next time leave your guns at the door and your willys in your jeeps (younger idiots won't get that one). I've had a particularly gruelling day here, it's wet windy and I thought there'd been an earthquake until I realised I'd fallen from the chair after a light pre lunch 'snifter', it's no fun living on the borders, we need to be on constant alert for the Scots pinching our cattle and women. Don't worry brave boy, my trusty bow lies ready (just needs a string) and I'm brushing up my language skills in case they appear - Och Aye! My mobility scooter is on permanent charge and I can drop my knitting in an instant to pursue the Reivers, it will do 8 mph i.e. 8 times faster than a drunken Scotsman crawling home - it's a massacre. At the first sound of 'Hey Jimmy F... you' - I'll mobilise the troops in my warden, if I can sober them up, usually the biggest battle. If only you were here to guide us brave boy, you didn't answer if you were prepared for winter? but in readiness I'm knitting you a Fair Isle pullover, what size is your neck?

Am I alone??? I didn't understand this sorry Labob, not that it affects me anyway, lost me after the first sentence I don't know what point you're making, perhaps just me??

@AyaqGuyaq my brave boy how are you? rested and fattened up ready for the ravages of winter? I lie in bed watching Yukon Men and worry that as you get older the dangers of your perilous existence will catch up with you. Trust the fishing season in the upper 49th went well and all fingers are still there?? don't worry if you lost a couple, real men use them as bait. Stock up now with ammunition and supplies, I felt in my water this morning (bedpan) that this is the year we find that mother lode I have already ordered our new yacht and helicopter, please forward your bank details again, the Nigerian prince has misplaced them? Do you still need gold taps? I am a bit puzzled about Alaska, a quick google gives me over forty programmes about the state in the last ten years, there are more f....g cameramen than bears? I know more about Alaska than Scotland, but perhaps thats a blessing eh? You mustn't be able to move for camera crews up there? yet us idiots have never gazed into those steely blue eyes, or seen your chiselled jaw, you need a better agent, please say you're not one of those bush people. I'm a bit chilly myself the central heating isn't on yet, I too suffer hardships, I still recall the day the local supermarket ran out of milk it was a nightmare munching dry cornflakes. However enough of me, tell me what you are up to at the moment, are you with your cousin or some floosy??

Happy Birthday, enjoy it. ?

Perhaps not the best response?? I remember playing with you, when you joined most players left, perhaps you need better competition, if people don't want to play with you it is you who have the problem, not them? I didn't put this well, what I meant to say is don't react like this, although understandable, it only makes it worse. Our admins are great, the best I have witnessed, if you do not respect their decision gracefully there is no chance of returning is there? Calm down, as far as I can tell you're not barred which says a lot doesn't it?

Don't 2 time me U bitch ?, in a manly non gay way of course.

Happy birthday, hope your aim is straight ?

An interesting thought dear Pink, Can wankers have a birthday? who gives a toss?? This joke may be lost in translation

Goddam, drove through a part of town I rarely visit last night and got pulled over for kerb crawling? I explained that my concern was the safe welfare of pussies but the police took a dim view. I have been told to drive fast down that street now to avoid the pussies?? There must have been a lot lost as many young ladies in nightclothes were waving at me to stop and help. I googled kerb crawling and almost spilt my cocoa, how these ladies use lost cats to hide behind whilst trading is a national disgrace. I shall bring the matter up at the next Pussy Independent Management Protection Society meeting, we need to keep the streets clean. I will threaten them with a visit from my brave boy @AyaqGuyaq on his next visit, he knows how to handle wildlife.

Sounds like a catapult to me, I don't think you were being targeted just unlucky, you can buy these in UK when you buy a catapult, they are no joke and will kill at close range no problem at all, I had one as a kid. If it was a muzzle loader it would take 5 minutes between shots, accompanied by a loud bang and smoke, could have been a shotgun but unlikely for many reasons, catapult for me.

More likely out of a catapult than a gun, unless you have pissed off a local muzzle loader, were the bullets steel balls? i.e. shiny

I'm so sad to hear this, take care young lady and come back soon, hope all is well with you.

Yes plying your pussy outside your house can be misunderstood, though bountiful, by your neighbours and police. Usually when pussy is on the street cars crawl, it is unusual for them to go fast, although I have encountered a few fast pussies in my lifetime. Don't worry about getting a hit, usually this goes hand in hand with outdoor pussies. By the way, if you worry about your pussy out at night there are a group called the Pussy Independent Management Protection Society, who specialise in looking after them, you'll spot them by their flashcars and suits, good luck.

Unfortunately as in your photo this affects a lot of our members, instead of concentrating on the game all they can dream about and see is pussy. You notice it in spec as their gun trembles and shoots in short bursts, I would highly recommend castration if they wish to improve their scores. To make matters worse some members, no names , admit to stroking their pussy during play, this only makes the problem worse for other players concentrating on aiming. Cats should be put outside before play, otherwise your mouse is in peril. I used to stroke them many moons ago, but now concentrate on not remembering that fact, my scores improve dramatically, so try going pussy free, it works.

Best wishes and take it easy for a while.

You've still got it @AyaqGuyaq, very good

I've eaten snails many times, and frog legs once, snails are ok but did not like frogs legs, the worst French dish I had was pigeon covered in raw slices of liver, looked like it was crawling with worms. As for the pictures of @FRENCHI penis, it's a lot bigger than I imagined

We understand that, you don't brew any? but I understand that small breweries are really taking off over there, ignore preconceptions and go for taste and flavour not hype. Our ancestors drank beers a lot weaker than we do now, it seems to be fashionable to be stronger and stronger which ruins the flavour, if you can find an amber ale at around 2% and drink at room temp you'll never want a lager again.

It's lager not beer eurofizz like a lot of them, beer is dark, lager is pale, and beer should be drunk at room temperature to get the taste. another thing is once the alcohol content gets above four that is all you can taste, the really strong beers taste metallic. If you are not scared of not being thought a man try the ones around two, the taste really comes through.

That's the old joke, four boys say can we look after your car while you're gone?, no thanks its got an alarm you reply, has it got a fire extinguisher?

It's a secret??

Angelz I already know how kind you are, but these people are not being jailed for being homeless, they are being jailed for drug taking in public, violent begging, stealing etc etc would you like to go shopping with your kids and be mobbed by them? The misinformation, i.e. the way it is written has obviously worked, roll on world war three We tolerate buskers, individual beggars, and have always had what you call hobos and we call tramps, no problem. Organised begging, steaming, drug taking in public places, etc etc big problem

Ha of course, although if you want to live rough what a great country to do it in, what I (and Spin) are saying is don't absolutely believe what you read.

Oh dear, although some of this is true it is only partly true, may I also point out that this is also in the premier left wing socialist newspaper, it is being used as a weapon. I should also say that this is not only our country, indeed my youngest recently returned from a year in Toronto and he was amazed how many homeless were on the streets there. That said we indeed have homeless people, which is a travesty when we feed and house illegal immigrants ( back on this again, but true) and fail our own. However with a lot of these it is by choice, either addicts, professional beggars (some of whom return home at night) or other reasons. However we have many many things in place to prevent this, some state run and some voluntary. Not being a drug user (and I don't mean marijuana, although I don't use that either) I did not know until recently how bad the situation was, nor how many resources are used on these people, unfortunately I experienced it first hand. This is the scourge of the world at the moment, it not only wrecks individuals but is wrecking countries and millions of ordinary people suffer. This problem was there when I was young, and will be there when I die, but it has definitely got worse and with some is becoming the norm. A spin off is the violence, burglaries etc etc that comes from these people. Now I sat there ,and listened to people tripping over themselves to house these guys, and to a man they all refused and prefered to go back to rough living, which they did. I had the chance to talk to two of them in depth, and it was sad to see that they actually wanted to live that way, they may even be dead by now. This is not just the UK my dear, it is the Western World, even China and Russia suffer, this will not go away, housing is a big problem, but not the only one. Back on bloody politics eh?

I knew I should have worn pyjamas