RobMc

Where did you bury the gold?

Aunty Jean Yes Rob Why did you lie to me and say I'd go to hell if I didn't sleep with you when I stayed over?

Who'll win the Grand National at Aintree next week?

Who was my father?

Where did you put your bank cards?

Sammy, Sammy, Sammy Get it all out my friend 'Or a wife/husband'? - humans are inherently unintelligent ? you are crying out for counselling from Rob. For a very reasonable rate Rob can give you 1/1 sessions, no longer be an easily manipulated creature, be a MAN, Rob will teach you how to exit your life of crime (or vica versa) for only a 15% cut of proceeds. Surrounded by morons? get away from these forums for a while buddy, Rob can introduce you to authors poets and scientists who regularly contribute to mens magazines (normally available under the counter or by post in plain envelopes) I was fascinated by your reference to a 'talking head'? are your news channels only Sesame Street? (I like Elmo), Rob can put you in touch with real up to the minute news like CNN, The BBC or Youtube. Don't worry Sammy buddy, Rob can drag you back from the precipice (weekends and holidays double time) pm me for rates.

They would, and they worked for most people (I've met a couple) but for some weird reason we're not allowed to punish naughty people now, hence the crime rates in the western world.

Ah a missionary man? Later note - now come on boys you must have got this one? 'The missionary position' the usual for learning sex. Although Budman probably chose Doggy style due to his love of animals? Brush up on your Kama Sutra, I've told this one before When it comes to sex my wife is one of the 'in' people In bed, in the dark, in one position and infrequently

Do you sleep on the left or right?

I wish I could get into the political forums still, but what you say is absolutely true, you actually produce your goods in past and future enemies countries (Vietnam and China) because of cheap labour. Just work out how many people are now employed in service industries, and how few can grow, manufacture or innovate, I repeat you are fcked, but we are the same. This debacle currently happening in New York is to distract you from the truth of your incompetent and corrupt governments wrongdoings, politics in your country have now turned to hatred. Meanwhile your enemies are at the gates, and pitching the Black tent, good luck.

Now come on you didn't think Rob would do the menials?, I was planning on bringing @Timmah! Sans worms, but with guns and pizzas

Hey Mike your offer of a bed still open? I can cook

I think they are starting to get the idea, but it is too late we are fcked, well and truly.

YES

LMFAO

2nd grade eh? (Diaper free?)

*Something here to offend everyone - in every sense...* Now on sale at IKEA - beds for lesbians: no nuts or screwing involved, it's all tongue and groove. Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8. I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency. The lead actor in the local pantomime production of Aladdin was anally raped by the gay genie on stage last night - to be fair the audience did try to warn him. Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min (charges may vary) Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?" She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook". Just booked a table for Valentine's Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though - she's crap at snooker. Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new Taser! If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham then delete it. It's Spam. They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 6 months is going to shift this beer belly. When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateaux...

Charming, nice outlook FU

Whoops put this in wrong post

Whoops wrong post sorry

News reporter Henry Trotter is reporting the way to Alaska is blocked, 3 divisions of Superpigs are dug in on the border. Pulled from his afternoon session of backgammon the Canadian Defence Minister said any use of napalm in an attempt to get crispy crackling would be met by Canada using it's Maple syrup reserves. This is turning nasty.

Moi? I am innocence personified. News Flash - Gulf of Mexico now renamed 'The Bay of Pigs'

OK LtLaszio reminded me that we ain't had one for a while, we had/have some great theorists here Me (UFO's), Hammer (Flat Earth), Fld Marshal (everything in life) and of course the King Hxtr (contrails). It came to me this morning watching Youtube that we may have a new one, the USofA attacked from both North and South by - SUPERPIGS This could be the scariest yet, thousands of large vicious Piglos squealing and rutting in your back yard, apparently they have the reproductive capabilities of me and Wayne combined. In one thousand years you could be swamped by ten of them at least (if we get lucky wink wink). The south has long had a problem, millions of them overrunning proud Texans like Angu5, rapidly running out of ammo, sweat pouring from his brow as he gets a lead on the next little swine, why do you think you don't hear from him now? He's too busy to play with gators. But now from the north those vicious Canadians are launching suicidal waves of these critturs at the Yanks, the evil swines Will anyone survive?, instead of pulled pork will it be pulled human? Watch this space.

Well that's cheered me up on a Monday morning ??? Sadly it's true, our civilisation has been brought down from within by it's own people ps if you're quick you can buy Argentina for a Big Mac, broke for about the tenth time in last 50 years, even though China bailed them out for 116 billion, we're next. Rob is selling Contrails on behalf of Hxtr, PM me for a great deal

Dick Compensator ???? Here's mine