WeednFeed Posted January 23, 2012 Member ID: 433 Group: ++ COD4 Admin Followers: 39 Topic Count: 345 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 2333 Content Per Day: 0.44 Reputation: 3799 Achievement Points: 24047 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 35 Joined: 09/17/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 1 hour ago Birthday: 05/28/1957 Device: Windows Share Posted January 23, 2012 A Condom factory burns down in the States (the largest one): Nancy Pelosi is awoken at 4am by the telephone."Sorry to bother you at this hour, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week".Nancy Pelosi: "Oh Damm!! The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies. We'll be ruined". She says: "We're going to have to ship some in from Mexico "Telephone voice says: "Bad idea.... The Mexicans will have a field day with this one." She says: "What about Canada "?He says: "I'll call Stephen Harper, and tell him we need five million condoms, ten inches long and eight inches thick. That way, they'll continue to respect us as Americans".Three days later, a delighted Nancy Pelosi runs out to open the first box of the 10,000 boxes that had just arrived..She finds five million condoms. 10 inches long, 8 inches thick, Just as requested.....all coloured red and white with small writing on each one.'MADE IN CANADA - SIZE: MEDIUM' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Joe Canadian Posted January 23, 2012 Member ID: 822 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 87 Topic Count: 317 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 5477 Content Per Day: 1.04 Reputation: 5025 Achievement Points: 42632 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 20 Joined: 12/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 25, 2023 Birthday: 03/01/1967 Device: Windows Share Posted January 23, 2012 LOL, I have one that is pretty similar but older, here it goes: PresidentBill Clinton called Jean Chretien with a pressing emergency: "Ourlargest condom factory has exploded!" the American Presidentcried, "My people's favorite form of birth control!This is a true disaster!" "Bill, da Canajian pipple wouldbe 'appy to do anyt'ing wit'in der power to 'elp you,"replied the Prime Minister. "I do need your help,"said Clinton. "Could you possibly send us 1,000,000 condoms ASAPto tide us over?" "Certainement!I will get on hit right haway." said Jean. "Oh,and one more small favor, please?" said President Bill. "Oui?" "Couldthe condoms be red, white and blue, and at least 10"long and 4" in diameter?" asked Clinton. "Noprob'lem," replied the Prime Minister, and with that, Chretienhung up and called the president of Trojan. "I needa favor. You got to make 1,000,000 condoms right haway, an sen'em toHamerica." "Considerit done," said the President of Trojan. "Great!Now listen mon ami. Dey haf to be bleu, blanc 'n rouge in color;hat least 10 hinches long, and 4 hinches in dia' meter." "That'seasily done. Anything else?" "Yes,"said the Prime Minister, "an print on dem MADE INCANADA, size: MEDIUM." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
PimpedOutPete Posted January 23, 2012 Member ID: 174 Group: +++ COD2 Head Admin Followers: 129 Topic Count: 387 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 14881 Content Per Day: 2.78 Reputation: 7823 Achievement Points: 91059 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 52 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 1 hour ago Birthday: 04/23/1970 Device: Macintosh Share Posted January 23, 2012 Hahahahahaha Good one.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
HarryWeezer Posted January 23, 2012 Member ID: 20166 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 40 Topic Count: 611 Topics Per Day: 0.16 Content Count: 7652 Content Per Day: 1.98 Reputation: 7228 Achievement Points: 53663 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 36 Joined: 10/04/13 Status: Offline Last Seen: March 16 Birthday: 10/16/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted January 23, 2012 Guy buys a load of condoms and the drug store clerk asks, "you want a paper bag with that?" Guy responds, "naw, she's not that ugly." Same guy comes back few weeks later and buys a dozen more. Clerk says, "that'll be $5 with tax." Guy says, "Keep the tacks, I'll tape 'em on." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Angel Posted January 23, 2012 Member ID: 46 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 104 Topic Count: 132 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 4316 Content Per Day: 0.81 Reputation: 2955 Achievement Points: 34774 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 11 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: September 18, 2021 Share Posted January 23, 2012 LoL!! Good ones Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exe Posted January 23, 2012 Member ID: 2567 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 51 Topic Count: 41 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2904 Content Per Day: 0.62 Reputation: 983 Achievement Points: 17118 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 6 Joined: 06/08/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: Monday at 11:19 AM Birthday: 12/11/1986 Device: Windows Share Posted January 23, 2012 LOL Enjoy Canda! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
hxtr Posted January 24, 2012 Member ID: 220 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 147 Topic Count: 595 Topics Per Day: 0.11 Content Count: 16950 Content Per Day: 3.17 Reputation: 13538 Achievement Points: 129713 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 120 Joined: 09/04/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 26, 2023 Birthday: 04/05/1970 Device: Windows Share Posted January 24, 2012 WeednFeed - Condom EMERGENCY A Condom factory burns down in the States (the largest one): Nancy Pelosi is awoken at 4am by the telephone. "Sorry to bother you at this hour, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week". Nancy Pelosi: "Oh Damm!! The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies. We'll be ruined". She says: "We're going to have to ship some in from Mexico " Telephone voice says: "Bad idea.... The Mexicans will have a field day with this one." She says: "What about Canada "? He says: "I'll call Stephen Harper, and tell him we need five million condoms, ten inches long and eight inches thick. That way, they'll continue to respect us as Americans". Three days later, a delighted Nancy Pelosi runs out to open the first box of the 10,000 boxes that had just arrived.. She finds five million condoms. 10 inches long, 8 inches thick, Just as requested.....all coloured red and white with small writing on each one. 'MADE IN CANADA - SIZE: MEDIUM' hahahhaahaha that is funny as shit.... too bad Nancy Pelosi's parents did not use a condom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Canadian Posted January 24, 2012 Member ID: 822 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 87 Topic Count: 317 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 5477 Content Per Day: 1.04 Reputation: 5025 Achievement Points: 42632 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 20 Joined: 12/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 25, 2023 Birthday: 03/01/1967 Device: Windows Share Posted January 24, 2012 SgtHarryWeezer Guy buys a load of condoms and the drug store clerk asks, "you want a paper bag with that?" Guy responds, "naw, she's not that ugly." Same guy comes back few weeks later and buys a dozen more. Clerk says, "that'll be $5 with tax." Guy says, "Keep the tacks, I'll tape 'em on." Lol good ones Harry :-0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
PimpedOutPete Posted January 24, 2012 Member ID: 174 Group: +++ COD2 Head Admin Followers: 129 Topic Count: 387 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 14881 Content Per Day: 2.78 Reputation: 7823 Achievement Points: 91059 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 52 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 1 hour ago Birthday: 04/23/1970 Device: Macintosh Share Posted January 24, 2012 SgtHarryWeezer Guy buys a load of condoms and the drug store clerk asks, "you want a paper bag with that?" Guy responds, "naw, she's not that ugly." Same guy comes back few weeks later and buys a dozen more. Clerk says, "that'll be $5 with tax." Guy says, "Keep the tacks, I'll tape 'em on." lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
BlackBird Posted January 24, 2012 Member ID: 1368 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 3 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 68 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Achievement Points: 436 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/25/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: March 3, 2018 Birthday: 08/17/1996 Share Posted January 24, 2012 Good Shit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ov3rKi11 Posted January 24, 2012 Member ID: 265 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 40 Topic Count: 34 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 673 Content Per Day: 0.13 Reputation: 412 Achievement Points: 25064 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/06/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 8 Birthday: 05/22/1969 Device: iPhone Share Posted January 24, 2012 lol...good one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Darth Yoda Posted January 25, 2012 Member ID: 934 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 19 Topic Count: 131 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 832 Content Per Day: 0.16 Reputation: 137 Achievement Points: 5656 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/27/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: November 19, 2014 Birthday: 08/16/1960 Share Posted January 25, 2012 This guy walks into a store and asks " How much for a condom?" Clerk replies" Dollar each." "OK give me one" Clerk rings it up and says "One-fifteen please." "What? You said a dollar!" yells the customer. "Oh. Fifteen cents is for tax." The customer, taken aback replies" Tacks!!! I thought you just rolled 'em on!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PimpedOutPete Posted January 25, 2012 Member ID: 174 Group: +++ COD2 Head Admin Followers: 129 Topic Count: 387 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 14881 Content Per Day: 2.78 Reputation: 7823 Achievement Points: 91059 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 52 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 1 hour ago Birthday: 04/23/1970 Device: Macintosh Share Posted January 25, 2012 Darth Yoda This guy walks into a store and asks " How much for a condom?" Clerk replies" Dollar each." "OK give me one" Clerk rings it up and says "One-fifteen please." "What? You said a dollar!" yells the customer. "Oh. Fifteen cents is for tax." The customer, taken aback replies" Tacks!!! I thought you just rolled 'em on!" lol... Great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
BHzD_WHY Posted January 25, 2012 Member ID: 1425 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 1 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 154 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 8 Achievement Points: 850 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/18/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: February 26, 2023 Birthday: 02/07/1969 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PimpedOutPete Posted January 25, 2012 Member ID: 174 Group: +++ COD2 Head Admin Followers: 129 Topic Count: 387 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 14881 Content Per Day: 2.78 Reputation: 7823 Achievement Points: 91059 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 52 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 1 hour ago Birthday: 04/23/1970 Device: Macintosh Share Posted January 25, 2012 BHzD_WHY Hehehehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Darth Yoda Posted January 26, 2012 Member ID: 934 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 19 Topic Count: 131 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 832 Content Per Day: 0.16 Reputation: 137 Achievement Points: 5656 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/27/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: November 19, 2014 Birthday: 08/16/1960 Share Posted January 26, 2012 LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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