JohnnyDos Posted July 18, 2013 Member ID: 77 Group: Fallen Members Followers: 111 Topic Count: 1018 Topics Per Day: 0.18 Content Count: 7527 Content Per Day: 1.30 Reputation: 9175 Achievement Points: 69486 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 47 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 8, 2020 Posted July 18, 2013 WOMAN'SPERFECT BREAKFAST She'ssitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her sonis on the cover of the Wheaties box. Herdaughter is on the cover of Business Week. HerboyfriendIs on the cover of Playgirl. And herhusband is on the back of the milk carton. Keep reading-they getbetter!!! WOMEN'S REVENGE 'Cash, checkor charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As shefumbled for her wallet ,I noticed aremote control for a television set in her purse. 'So, do youalways carry your TV remote?' I asked. 'No,' shereplied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, And I figuredthis was the most evil thing I could do to himlegally.' KEEP READING ALL THE WAY TO THE BOTTOM. UNDERSTANDINGWOMEN (A MAN'SPERSPECTIVE) I know I'mnot going to understand women. I'll neverunderstand how you can take boiling hot wax, Pour it ontoyour upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, And still beafraid of a spider. LOTS MORE TO ENJOY...KEEP SCROLLING DOWN FORA WHILE. MARRIAGE SEMINAR While attending a Marriage Seminar dealingwith communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to theinstructor, 'It isessential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes.' He addressed theman, 'Can you nameyour wife's favorite flower?' Tom leaned over, touched his wife's armgently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it? LOTS MORE TO LAUGHAT... CIGARETTES ANDTAMPONS A man walksinto a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.. The salesgirl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answersthat he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.. She directshim down the correct aisle. A few minuteslater, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on thecounter. She says,confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? Heanswers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store To get me acarton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco And somerolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper. So, I figureif I have to roll my own .......... So does she. (I figurethis guy is the one on the milk carton!) KEEP ON READING. WIFE VS.HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road forseveral miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argumentand Neither of themwanted to concede their position. As theyPassed a barnyard of mules,goats, and pigs, Thehusband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep,'the wife replied, 'in-laws.' MORE AND MORE YET TOENJOY. WORDS A husband read an article to his wife abouthow many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied,'The reason has to be because we have toRepeat everything to men.... The husband thenturned to his wife and asked, 'What?' KEEP ON GOING. CREATION A man said tohis wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be So stupid andso beautiful all at the same time. 'The wiferesponded, 'Allow me to explain. God made mebeautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made mestupid so I would be attracted to you ! SCROLL DOWN SOMEMORE... WHO DOES WHAT A man and hiswife were having an argument about who Should brewthe coffee each morning. The wifesaid, 'You should do it because you get up first, And then wedon't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husbandsaid, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you should doit, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.' Wife replies,'No, you should do it, andbesides, it is in the Bible that the manshould do the coffee.' Husbandreplies, 'I can't believe that, show me..' So shefetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the topof several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS' YEP, THERE IS SOMEMORE... The Silent Treatment A man and hiswife were having some problems at home and weregiving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, theman realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AMfor an early morning business flight. Not wantingto be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece ofpaper,'Please wake me at 5:00AM.'He left it wherehe knew she would find it. The nextmorning, the man woke up, only to discover it was9:00 AMand he had missedhis flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakenedhim,when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The papersaid, 'It is 5:00AM. Wake up.' Men are notequipped for these kinds of contests. Blackbart, Gatorgirl, Leadfinger and 2 others 5
Gatorgirl Posted July 18, 2013 Member ID: 2986 Group: ++++ Senior Admin Followers: 206 Topic Count: 384 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 6456 Content Per Day: 1.29 Reputation: 7140 Achievement Points: 50711 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 21 Joined: 11/13/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: July 3 Birthday: 12/19/1967 Device: Macintosh Posted July 18, 2013 Awesome! LOL Awards
7Toes Posted July 18, 2013 Member ID: 87 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 58 Topic Count: 98 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 3789 Content Per Day: 0.65 Reputation: 3589 Achievement Points: 27251 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 7 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: March 18, 2022 Birthday: 04/02/1871 Posted July 18, 2013 LtLaszlo you cant read move on lol Awards
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