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-PeteG-

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Posts posted by -PeteG-

  1. A fireman is at the station house working outside
    on the fire truck when he notices Johnny next door.
    Johnny is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side.
    He is wearing a fireman's hat and has a dog tied to the wagon.
    The fireman says, "Hey little boy. What are you doing?"
    Johnny says, "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!"
    The fireman walks over to take a closer look.
    "That sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman says.
    "Thanks mister", says Johnny.
    The fireman looks a little closer and notices that
    Johnny has tied the dog to the wagon by its testicles.
    "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck,
    but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck
    I think you could go faster", says the fireman.
    Johnny replies, "You're probably right mister,
    but then I wouldn't have a siren!"

     

  2. Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says,
    "You know, I don't know what to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking,
    I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway.
    I shut off the engine and coast into the garage.
    I take my shoes off before I go into the house,
    I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom.
    I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
    His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach.
    I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps,
    throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed,
    rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?'
    ....and she's always sound asleep."

     

  3. It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo.

    She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps.

    As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large gorilla.

    He jumps up on the bars, holding on with one hand,

    grunting and pounding his chest with the free hand.

    He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress.

    The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife tease the poor creature.

    The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom, and play along.

    She does and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.

    Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall, she does,

    and Mr. Gorilla is just about to tear the bars down.

    "Now try lifting your dress up your thighs..." This drives the gorilla absolutely crazy.

    Suddenly the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage,

    flings her in with the gorilla, and says,

    "Now, tell HIM you have a headache!!!!!!"

  4. A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to give birth.

    The doctor told them that he'd developed a new machine and asked if they'd like to try it.

    The machine would take some of the woman's pain away and give

    it to the father thereby easing the mothers burden.

    The couple thought it was a good idea and agreed to give it a try.

    The Doc set it on 10% to begin with,

    telling the man that 10% was still probably more pain than he had ever felt.

    The man was surprised at how little pain he was feeling and asked for it to be increased.

    The doctor turned it up to 20% with the same results.

    This trend continued until the machine was set at 100%.

    After the delivery both mother and father felt fine.

    The wife was relieved at having an almost painless labor,

    and the father was still amazed at how little pain was actually involved.

    Later, when they took the baby home, they found the mailman dead on their doorstep.

  5. Hi XI,

    Thanks for allowing me to join your forums.

    My name is PeteG,  I have been playing on your CoD4 and CoD5 Freeze Tag servers lately.

    Great servers and people too! I look forward to a long relationship with XI and meeting more of

    the members.

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