RobMc

I went to the doctor and he asked 'How can I help you?' 'It's my sex life doctor, it's all shrivelled up, doesn't touch the sides' 'What do you drink Rob?', he said 'I drink lager I replied' 'Ah, well that's your problem, lager is weak it shrinks things, try drinking Guinness, builds things up big and strong' A couple of week later I'm walking down the street and I see the doctor, 'How's your sex life Rob? , it's fantastic I replied Took my advice with the Guinness?' he said 'No doctor, I've got the wife on lager'

Unlike my buddy Sixgun (hungwaylow), as we all know I have the opposite problem, where in things like saunas I'm often directed to the ladies part, in fact I'm not sure it's still there I haven't seen it for about 20 years. Talking about this to a buddy and he said he'd send something to help me, boy was I excited when the postman gave me a box the next week, I hoped it wouldn't take long to inflate? I eagerly opened the box, wtf?????, it said it was to help with erectile dysfunction ?, I wasn't building anything at the moment?, since the last episode when my neighbours objected to my bird spotting tower, just because it blocked the light from their bedroom, some people just don't like nature do they? Anyway when I opened it there were these blue tablets, this had me puzzled, and the instructions only said use with care as stiffness resulted after 15 minutes?, was I to exercise with them? then it came to me, you dissolved them before use, by f..k they were good the brush I used to stir them with in the bucket was rock hard after 5 minutes. Now for a long time the back fence has been leaning over a bit, so I poured a bit on the posts, f..k me they sprang to attention like Guardsmen, straight as a poker, wow these things could do miracles, what next? Just then a tablet fell out of the box, and quick as a flash my greedy labrador wolfed it down, which leads me to my problem, How do I get the f.....g dog off my leg???

Get well soon, we need those pictures

Lice????

Wow? you have 4 kids?

I'll help as I've just learned 1/. Save up every penny you can 2/. Learn how to count to 21 ( you might find this hard) 3/. Kiss your points and say goodbye 4/. Deal 5/. Now this is the clever part, think you are smarter than him, he loves this 6/. Press any button, it makes little difference you will lose anyway 7/. Start again, this is where you think you'll earn it back, he loves this 8/. Play until it's all gone 9/. Cry 10/. Tell yourself this humiliation was fun

Oh we know bds lost his, the lambs were gorgeous

Yea, better than normal Rosie

Hell, Sabre must be shitting a brick????

Right tonight I counted, there were 7 times I drew 20, and in every one the dealer won by drawing 21? course it's not fixed lol

You need a good telephoto lens to photograph mine lol

Yea we miss you, but are still here to talk to

Well done my dear, hard work does pay off

EC has said quite a few times he'd like to f..k me, so like any good boy scout I'm always prepared, up to now his attempts have been woeful. On a serious note, get out and about as much as you can, I walked miles (lucky where I live) when I owned dogs, 5-6 miles minimum every day (two walks) but up to 20 miles if I had a day off, loved it, especially the Reiver roads and Roman roads which are still there, although in wild places. What started it was a walk with the county archaeologist one day, he opened up to me a whole new world of things to discover on walks, burials, hill forts, Roman camps, abandoned villages etc etc I began to understand bumps in the ground, fortifications, old railway lines and mine workings, what always seemed strange to me were that in the wildest spots there were traces of man and you were not the only one to have walked there. Buy the biggest map you can, learn how to use a compass (for variation and deviation) and wear good boots, you need little else. We also have many marked routes in the forests which are great for novices, with different lengths and difficulty and sights along the way (such as a cave where a Reiver hid and was shot, you can still see the bloodstains), rock carvings from all ages, prehistoric, roman, viking and more recent, and burial mounds.

??? adding to it usually makes it heavier? I can think of some tips EC50 would give 1/. Always piss upwind in a gale, 2/. Always take a spare dress and knickers 3/. Never let your makeup run in the rain, wear a hat 4/. If confronted by a bear offer it some vaseline, hurts less

Marriage taught me that Sammy, I have desires, the wife has issues?

Yea decide if you are going to Aldi, Tescos or Asda this week, learn how to go through a Mcdonalds drive through safely, and make sure you know the opening times of the fish and chip shop, all essential life skills in the UK. Chris won't let me keep her there, I have her chained in the yard to deter burglars but her bark is worse than her bite as we all know

Training for what?? you learning to shoot straight fckr???

Always wondered how eskimos managed?? Is there a cure for your dick shrivelling up? Asking for a friend

Yep

ffs the rest of my life is in tatters?, I'll have some fun with you my boy, sleep well.

Shiny??? Queenie??

Do you think they respawn if they crash?

I was going to say exactly what WP just said, we already have this, we don't need another post??