RobMc

Yea we get all yours after you've seen them but they seem to be struggling for new excitement, currently on are Ernie the wildman, all the usual alaska ones, all the usual pawnbrokers, dog the bounty hunter, swamp people and aliens. Some canadian one called heavy rescue and aussie ones on gold and trucking. Lets have some fun, what would idiots like to see programmes on?? I'll start the ball rolling I'd like to see a programme about underwater salvage. ps single mothers??? how do you make a programme on that ffs the uk version would be got pissed, got pregnant, applied for benefits and house, retired.

Ayaq great news buddy, just learnt theres a new series of life below zero coming out, had to change the bedclothes again, excitement no good at my age. Then I learnt theres a new addition to the cast, say that it's you my friend? us idiots deserve more publicity. It does mention he has 5 children (you kept that quiet?) but understandable knowing the long arctic nights. Can't wait to see your image for real, I picture a steely jaw with two days growth, lean muscular frame and piercing eyes, please don't disappoint and look like the rest of us. Tell us some spoilers now, what animals do you massacre this series? Love you buddy, in a non gay way. Talking about that my experiment on catching up with our ladies skills by wearing a frock is not going well. Perhaps you have to get worse before you get better?, in which case theres hope.As you know I wore it whilst gaming, but there was a little hiccup yesterday when I went on my mobility scooter to the shops, forgetting I had it on. Let me tell you there are some strange people where I live, I had two offers of 'a good time' and a propsal for marriage. Two from weird men and one from a large female? in jeans with a rottweiler, I'd rather have been bitten by the dog. However I must say that the children that mugged me were most polite and left me some bus fare home, I live in a nice area. An unexpected result of this frock has been a desire to bathe regularly, do my nails, comb my beard and talk nonsense incessantly. So today I'll go back to normal as it seems I'll never be a great player like my heroes, already started scratching my bum, will leave sniffing the finger for a week or so. You ain't been fishing you've been filming, haven't you?

Cos they only ever seem to find one print - funny that??

So I wake up this morning and switch on tv, expecting to see my usual Ayaq tribute programmes on Alaska, but the schedule has changed. What appears, a programme called *Top Hookers*, wow this beats the Wombles I thought. Excitedly I wait, then the biggest let down ever, it's about fishing ffs, my day is ruined, back to babestation Don't do this to us poor men! we are simple creatures not long evolved. OMG switched channels and whats on ? 'Wicked Tuna', is there some type of fish fetish with these programme makers?

Wheres your tent? did you leave it?

My boy, just glad to see you're alive and well, I do worry, and if I could, I'd get on my knees and pray for your brave soul every night! The non gay kinda way is a bit askew at the moment on account of me wearing a dress when playing (red to match my eyes) to try to catch up in skills to our ladies, I think it's working as I put petrol in my diesel car this morning whilst dreaming of cup cakes (getting there girls). Theres always a good side to everything, have you considered using your Captains uncle for pot bait? Caribou eh? I've seen them on life below zero shooting them as they cross the river, ah the sporting instincts never leave you Alaskans do they?, I think you could hit a mouse at 600 yards, you're just being modest. Now don't get onto vol II before releasing vol I, I know we're idiots but even we might notice that one.

Ayaq my boy, I feared you had succumbed to the hardships of your adventurous life as you had not replied to this post. However my mind is now at rest after seeing you get a dig in at your arch enemy (and my friend) SOB, it is sad that us bullshitters battle for prominence amongst our fellow idiots, but I sense the day is coming when we need to stop bickering and unite. There will always be threats from rival clans, their envy and jealousy will surface eventually causing us to fight for our position in the gaming world. It came to me last night (only thoughts come nowadays sadly), that we may be forced to field our finest regiments against the oncoming hordes. Who would that be? who would be the top twenty we would pitch headfirst at our foes from all COD genres. The realisation dawned that a high proportion of these would be our ladies who one for one punch far above their weight. They appear to be more intelligent with tactics, better shots and very quick. So as an experiment this week I have purchased a nice little summer frock from the web which I shall wear when playing this month to see if I improve. I will tell the neighbours it,s a kilt which will cause no problems as I live on the Scottish border, the make up may be more difficult to explain. I will practice my squealing every day, drive erratically and drop any logical thoughts that enter my mind, keep an eye on my scores fellow players they will improve for certain. The road to success beckons (on high heels?)

And the new soundcard ????????????????????? Old one a bit fuzzy, sounded to us as though you were screaming?

Happy Birthday Pain in The Arse aka Painkiller, have a great one mate

Aw, isn't that sweet? I'm sure they haven't split up really.

You have to first see hidden files

Was he the star ??

Do they print gorgeous babes ?? everything you need and miss out the vocal chords, might buy one.

Yes going to sea is, and always has been, a hard and dangerous profession God bless those in peril on the sea, often forgotten as 'out of sight out of news worthiness often applies', if you look at all the sea professions, fishing, oil rigs, exploration etc etc an awful lot of people die every year. People think that shipwrecks no longer occur, far from it, there are hundreds each year, very few make the news. One ship lowered its "man-boom" - lucky it wasn't mine, mine wouldn't reach the side

Sacre bleu?

A true star, we'll miss him but he might be easier to kill now?

I'm very very sad that this dedicated great man is selfishly off to enjoy himself , it won't be the same without you mate, I wish him all the best in what is now his true retirement, I think I'm going to cry

Try yogurt

People laugh at me but I use an old ball mouse, far more control, I've tried all the others and gone back to this for the games I play. On the sniper servers it gives far better fine control than any optical I have used, although to be truthful I'm still rubbish so it's more what suits you then what the hype is I think. My computer is an old amd 4 core, 8 gb 3200 memory, old gtx card and a high ping, I can still occasionally beat the guys with super rigs, especially when I' m sober. My advice would be pick something reasonably priced, you'll pay a premium for something you probably won't benefit from. Now, anyone got a new set of eyes for sale ??

Hi lovely lady, your shooting can't be that bad, you've hit me a few times.

Is he the 36 DD?? wow he's a looker?

I haven't seen my toes for 20 years

Brilliant

Angelz I'm lying watching an episode of alaskan state troopers and it seems that in the arctic they have an alcohol problem, cause of 90% of all crime. This helps me in understanding Ayaq's ramblings at times but it gave me a great idea, blubber in vodka? Do you think you could come up with a recipe?, with the combination of alcohol and blubber we could help those statistics get to 100%, think how grateful people would be?

Ayaq my boy, presume you are resting and recuperating after your last gruelling adventure ? your body still wracked with pain after that fish hold fall ( you weren't drunk were you?), get well soon my friend. Now as you, and our other readers know following my motorcycle accident and now officially a cripple ( I love political incorrectness), or for the liberals physically disadvantaged, (phew covered all angles), I act out my adventure fantasies with your help. I have other fantasies too, and have put these to some of our ladies, however the police have now convinced me that I may not pursue these any further, shame? You realise I'm now an active participant in our new book (note 'our'), and constantly looking for material for it, we need to convince the readers of the hardships and bravery of you guys in the upper 49th. So far we have a rugged and intrepid hero (you), guns, bears and a romantic interest in your moose with the blond wig, the basic ingredients ( Timmah will be getting excited at ingredients) of the story, but we need more material. Then this morning watching flying wild I came across the perfect location Barrow (bet you live there?), what a hellhole, perfect for you to base yourself, more bears than people and the locals live off your aphrodisiac - blubber. We could get you to harpoon whales from a rubber dinghy dressed only in a loincloth ( this will keep the ladies drooling over you) then wrestle it in the water until it succumbs ( no, no not sexually, don't get too excited). We could even get AngelZ and Timmah to give us some delicious blubber recipes that could be served at the XI fests, how about smoking some blubber, better than what our members generally smoke methinks? After that picture of Storm pleasuring Angu5 after bourbon think what will happen after consuming blubber? We could be in for a lot of new members around 9 months after the fests, although I dread to think what names they would be called, or what they'd look like, would two heads be an advantage in gaming? You are quiet again, that can only mean you are working on the next chapters, I'm excited , in fact so excited I'll need to change the bedclothes, how you doing buddy?