RobMc

I got completely the wrong idea when I read the title, got all interested then found out it's about football ffs?

You back on the blubber ???? Good luck, combine last years hunting trip with this one and you are on the road to XI stardom. Now I might be the only one that understands you ( especially after a few sherberts ) but there is hope. I sense beneath that rambling lunacy a great talent lurks, waiting to pounce on the XI readers ( a worldwide audience ). So my friend let me offer my services as your proof reader, that way others may understand the warped genius confined within the arctic circle, unable to escape it's icy grip. The brain frozen in time, body wracked with cold and only two days bear meat supply remaining, it is tough in the upper 49th. I am sure we could forget this months server donations and divert them to an airdrop or husky team with new supplies. The boss may be a bit tricky due to being killed a lot lately, but leave it to the xi ladies, they'll win him over. These supplies should keep you going as you've been a bit quiet lately? I miss translating your prose to English when I awake after a refreshing two hours sleep. Perhaps we could combine our talents (do I hear groans?) a bit like Elton John and Bernie Taupin, continents apart but united in their art. By the way a bad example, don't get too many ideas in your lonely arctic home, that's definitely a non starter. We could each write a chapter and I will translate Alaskan into English free of charge for the other members.

Hasn't even washed his feet, see the trumpet players face

They've invented the wheel ??????????

GG it's what Angus opens his wallet with

Sad but would you truly respect your head of state/royalty/head of company if they wore a t shirt, jeans and smoked joints - be honest.

Are you sure that's all he took off ??????? you sound a very 'sporting girl' ?

fire is natures ways to clean and let new growth occur Ouch, I'm suing you toes, just tried that on my head ? still bald

Have you got the address ?

My wife and me had it 2 days ago ' Lucky you trailr, but whens the anniversary?'

All those chicks and the blokes making love to an airbed ?? Or is he plugging a leak??

Yes what I forgot was our forests are managed and yours are natural, that pine beetle thing looks terrible, I'm beginning to understand now why it's so hard to put them out which is a pity because of the destruction to these beautiful habitats. Are most of them natural or started by man?? or can you not tell.

Oh so there are firebreaks? that is what puzzled me with all these fires in populated areas like California. Great answer I understand now, we forget over here about just how large it is, forgot about mountains.

It ain't nothing but a hound dog

I feel dizzy just looking, what a great idea.

Just read personalfouls post on fire in Colorado and yes Athena it truly is sad as it takes years to recover. I seem to read this every year, moreso the States than Canada and other places like Australia, everywhere has them at times. Do you not have firebreaks?? designed to protect the fire spreading, I live near a very large forest (Keilder) and the breaks are visible and maintained, costs plenty but saves a lot. California seems to have loads of these every year, I realise that the scale of things in some countries are different to ours, but when you look at damage and destruction it surely must be worthwhile? Need a clever idiot to invent a fire retardent spray to use from the air to pre treat corridors to slow down spread, or do we have that, any firefighters?

What type of dog is that on the left ??

Get ten beavers leave them at the tree line, when trees gone shoot the beavers, skin beavers, bury the beavers in rhubarb patch. Stitch beaver skins together, kill the biggest arsehole you know and leave him with his arsehole at ground level where you want the green. Put beaver skins around the arsehole and flatten with roller. Then stop dreaming about beavers and arseholes, at your age it's not good for you, neither is golf, come on server and let me give you a lesson in skill, by the time you get there the rhubarb should be ready

Newspapers??, you got me thinking, must be twenty years at least since I bought one, even fish and chips are in cartons now, does anyone still buy these??

Yep I was born fifties, with Grandparents two wars and depession and parents one war, all worked their socks off to get their children out of poverty, now our governments tax us to give everyone but our own our money, fu politicians people are waking up to you. Anyway as usual we stray into boring politics, at the moment I'm a bit worried that Angu5 has stopped dreaming about gators and now dreams of sheep, so no distractions, I'm knitting GG a jumper to keep him happy, she can pull the wool over his eyes lol!

OMG Angu5 with sheep, now Beer with cows ? do you guys over there have an animal fixation (if you get my drift ) ? Wales actually make one of the best whiskies I've tasted, we have a gin craze happening over here with micro distillers. Never been a gin person myself, rum still comes first, and the darker the better, not those girly light rums. Best ever was Black Heart, can't get it here now, I think it was from New Zealand, but if anyone knows a source I'd be grateful.

Now I don't often read the news but waking up early and being very bored gave it a glance, wtf is happening now ? The US imposing tariffs on steel, hell the doctors have just put a ton in my left leg, now I'm worried if I can afford steel, I might have to look at alternatives (oak ?). I might change my name to Long John Silver ( google that one kiddies). Worse still a counter tariffs on Harleys and bourbon, ffs, now anyone reading these columns already know my opinions on Harleys, but bourbon ?, I'm heartbroken, I was just about to buy a case after seeing the effects on a fellow idiot Angu5, seems to be just what I'm after, look what it's done to him. But worst of all is the Canadian lady ( it is a lady isn't it?) being bitchy about the US, is war looming across the borders, cos here in the UK we won't know which of our allies to side with? So my advice is to start bribing us now, please send me a case of bourbon and maple syrup and we-ll get the ball rolling The world is mad but I'm ok because some idiot made me an idiot!

Yep back to dwarves and midgets.

I'm beginning to get the idea the 'split' wasn't smooth ?? Man wakes up in the morning and looks across the bed and his wifes face is ravaged, with two black eyes What happened to you he says? This is the result of ten cans of beer, she replies That's funny, he said, I had ten cans last night and I'm ok ???

That explains a lot