Fire

Wow well I do believe today is my 6 year anniversary and I'd love one of those shiny new medals     I know I haven't been in the game for quite awhile but still alive and enjoying the forums.   No other idiots have ever cracked me up as much as all of you  .
Hugs
 

 
 
SORRY ITS LATE BUT I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A GOOD 1 x

 
 
SORRY ITS LATE BUT I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A GOOD 1 x

Fire, like the lyrics of the Michael Jackson song goes, "You are not alone . . ."
 
I got divorced last year, too, so I know the pain.  It's not so much the pain of not having her here, it's the pain of not seeing my 17-year old son and 13-year old daughter on a daily, regular basis, and not sleeping under the same roof that they are so I know they're absolutely safe.
 
It was my (hard liquor) drinking that caused the split.  Her hormonal changes, especially after her hysterectomy, may have been the ember that sparked a flame, but I was the stupid jerk throwing tablespoons of gasoline on that flame.  Alcohol solves nothing, except maybe to disinfect a scratch. 
 
I was so depressed that I drank way too heavily, as much as 3, 750-mL bottles of 80-proof rum a day.  A day.
 
I was even drinking at work, and was either too drunk or too depressed to even go to work.  Of course, I eventually lost my job that paid over six figures. 
 
I'm not blaming my ex-wife, totally (I say "totally" because she absolutely robbed me blind!!!), because I know my voluminous consumption of distilled spirits was the root cause.  Many, many people in my situation have done disastrous things, either to themselves or others, in a similar situation.
 
My faith in God and His plan, as well as my love for my children and my core family, are why the "easy" options are never an option.
 
Regarding your "night terrors," I'm going to relay a personal story to you, and it goes like this:
 
I was 24-years old when I moved here to Anchorage, Alaska, and the apartment I moved into was the cat's meow in 1990; i.e., top floor, fireplace, furnished, etc.  Little did I know that the place was haunted, which it sounds to me like yours is.
 
I kept my Remington Model 870 pump-action 12-gauge shotgun in the corner of my bedroom to deal with anyone that tried to break in.  My deadbolt, key-chain lock, and door lock were secured each night, religiously.  One night, I heard a thumping noise in the living room, so I quietly got outta bed, crept to the bedroom door entrance, leaned out, and turned on the light switch next to the door.  From that position, I've practiced taking one leap, bouncing off the bed off my back, and grabbing my shotgun.
 
There was no one in the living room, so I checked the bathroom and closets, then finally the door, which was still secured.  So, I went back to bed, attributing the loud thumping noises to a figment of my imagination.
 
At the time, I liked to sleep with a pillow under my belly and pillow under my head.  Just when I started to doze off, the other side of the queen-sized bed sunk, like when someone sits there.  I could even hear the springs going down.
 
I leapt offa my side of the bed and got ready for mortal combat.  But, there was no one there.
 
I checked the bathroom, closets, and door locks again, and everything was in order.  "Strange," I thought, "I knew someone sat on the edge of the bed."  This was at about 2:00 a.m. in the morning (Alaska Standard Time).
 
After I finally settled back down and resumed my sleeping position, my body froze.  I was facing to the left side of the bed, and my eyelids were cracked open just a little.  There was a very tall, skinny, well-dressed, and mostly-bald Caucasian man standing next to me, with a wicked smile on his face.  He leaned forward so that he was hovering over me, and I felt my body being pushed down into the mattress.
 
I chuckled to myself, "Oh, this is what it feels like to be visited by a ghost.  Now I can tell my friends."
 
The apparition leaned even farther over me, and I felt myself being pushed down into the mattress even further.  I told myself over and over again, "It's only a ghost, he can't hurt me.  It's only a ghost, he can't hurt me . . . "
 
However, I realized that he was indeed hurting me.  I couldn't breathe, couldn't move.  By then, his face was only about a foot above my head, and I was almost out of oxygen.  Just before I blacked out, right before I blacked out, my last thought was, "Please, God help me!!!!"
 
Whoosh!!!!!  The apparition and pressure instantaneously disappeared, and I literally sprung outta bed.
 
I put my feet on the floor and was gasping for breath.  I almost died at 24.
 
I'm not a preacher, but if you, Face, or any of you others reading this, are faced with a similar situation, give it a try.  Just ask God for help.
 
That's why I haven't taken the "easy" way out; I exist to help carry out His plan.  I've heard many stories of people in such very--and let's face it, scary--situations, so I tell my story whenever I can.  Paul (aka "AyaqGuyaq")

Just to let everyone know that i,m back on line and i won,t be going 
through that again as i missed being on line as i coulden,t do anything like
come on the site or speak to my friends or anything anyway my life is getting a
wee bit better as i,m on anti depression tablets but might need to see the doctor again
as i feel there not doing anything.Got my divorce through back in November and i thought i
would be happy but i feel num don,t know why anyway enough of that as i,m just glad
that i,m back on here with you guys as i missed you all so much now all i need to do is sort
out how to join in the serves as we don,t have xfire anymore  
Speak to you all soon   

Just to let everyone know that i,m back on line and i won,t be going 
through that again as i missed being on line as i coulden,t do anything like
come on the site or speak to my friends or anything anyway my life is getting a
wee bit better as i,m on anti depression tablets but might need to see the doctor again
as i feel there not doing anything.Got my divorce through back in November and i thought i
would be happy but i feel num don,t know why anyway enough of that as i,m just glad
that i,m back on here with you guys as i missed you all so much now all i need to do is sort
out how to join in the serves as we don,t have xfire anymore  
Speak to you all soon   

hi fire nice to hear from ya , see you in the games , hang in their it can only get better, stick with the meds , it takes a while ,, to work ,,,         

What can i say been here for over 2 years now and before
that i was in a clan called CFF and when i had no one to
play cod4 with i would come over and play on server 2 with
use guys its the best 2 years i have had with XI.
You all stood by me this past year with all the stuff that i have
been going through and i,m getting there just 1 more thing and
thats to sort out my sore heads so got the nurse the mora to give
blood but i woulden,t change anything as i love been here at XI and
i love all you guys.HAPPY BIRTHDAY XI xxx

What can i say been here for over 2 years now and before
that i was in a clan called CFF and when i had no one to
play cod4 with i would come over and play on server 2 with
use guys its the best 2 years i have had with XI.
You all stood by me this past year with all the stuff that i have
been going through and i,m getting there just 1 more thing and
thats to sort out my sore heads so got the nurse the mora to give
blood but i woulden,t change anything as i love been here at XI and
i love all you guys.HAPPY BIRTHDAY XI xxx

I remember when all we saw was the back of his head. I still get to see that once and a while.

Happy Birthday to the best damn family on the planet. Thanks to Rugger and all the others for giving us Idiots a place to gather .  Here is to another 10 years.
 
 
 
XI 4 Life

Kiss-up time.
 
A few of us have been around for a while and having worked closely with Rugger on occasion, I'm here to tell you that if not for him, this clan would never have succeeded.
 
Sure, he's had a lot of help over the years but time and again I have seen him make the right decision (and there were times when the clan's future somewhat depended on some of those decisions) even contrary to what I would have done. Some of them were very tough calls. But time proved him right as he made them.
 
So a salute to you Rugger. You not only created XI but it has succeeded where many, many others have not, due to your capable management.
 
Congratulations to you!!!    

I had fun with him. I could piss him off in a second.

 
@@PimpedOutPete, I don't see the connection between your breast implant surgery and the clan. Would you clarify? Open up Pete, don't be so shady lol

HOW MANY OF YOU KNOW WHAT IS SO FUNNY ABOUT THIS POST? IF YOU KNOW THE ANSWER YOU HAVE BEEN AROUND HERE A LONG ASS TIME

 
Wow 10 years in spite of @@TBB and @@BUDMAN. Remarkable, congrats @@Ruggerxi, I have come to realize that I am indeed an idiot by nature, and I kinda like it.
 
FU TBB and Budman. 
 
Love
 
Joe

What can i say been here for over 2 years now and before
that i was in a clan called CFF and when i had no one to
play cod4 with i would come over and play on server 2 with
use guys its the best 2 years i have had with XI.
You all stood by me this past year with all the stuff that i have
been going through and i,m getting there just 1 more thing and
thats to sort out my sore heads so got the nurse the mora to give
blood but i woulden,t change anything as i love been here at XI and
i love all you guys.HAPPY BIRTHDAY XI xxx

What can i say been here for over 2 years now and before
that i was in a clan called CFF and when i had no one to
play cod4 with i would come over and play on server 2 with
use guys its the best 2 years i have had with XI.
You all stood by me this past year with all the stuff that i have
been going through and i,m getting there just 1 more thing and
thats to sort out my sore heads so got the nurse the mora to give
blood but i woulden,t change anything as i love been here at XI and
i love all you guys.HAPPY BIRTHDAY XI xxx

What can i say been here for over 2 years now and before
that i was in a clan called CFF and when i had no one to
play cod4 with i would come over and play on server 2 with
use guys its the best 2 years i have had with XI.
You all stood by me this past year with all the stuff that i have
been going through and i,m getting there just 1 more thing and
thats to sort out my sore heads so got the nurse the mora to give
blood but i woulden,t change anything as i love been here at XI and
i love all you guys.HAPPY BIRTHDAY XI xxx