Dark Asylumn Posted January 19, 2011 Member ID: 809 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 41 Topic Count: 252 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 2840 Content Per Day: 0.50 Reputation: 1032 Achievement Points: 20424 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 11/29/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 13 hours ago Birthday: 06/25/1979 Device: Windows Posted January 19, 2011 Lady has mastered them well lmao Housecleaning Hints -- Windows: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide ahelpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it anSPF factor of 15 and leave it alone.-- Cobwebs: Artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from thebulb,thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If someone points outthat the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim"What? And spoil the mood?" (Or just throw glitter on them and callthem holiday decorations.)-- Pet Hair: Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against thedoorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffinghand-sewn play animals for underprivileged children. (Also keeps outcold drafts in winter.)-- Guests: If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightlyinto one room and close the door. As you show your guests through yourtidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'dlove you to see our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and theshots are SO expensive."-- Dusting: If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showyurn on the coffee table and insist that "This is where Grandma wantedus to scatter her ashes."-- General Cleaning: Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented householdcleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the airlightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop anexhausted look, throw yourself on the couch and sigh, I clean and Iclean and I still don't get anywhere." As a last resort, light theoven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon in a pie pan, turn off oven andexplain that you have been baking cookies for a bake sale for afavorite charity and haven't had time to clean... Works every time.-- Another favorite, I think from Erma Bombeck: Always keep severalget-well cards on the mantle so if unexpected guests arrive, you cansay you've been sick and unable to clean. Awards
Deranged Posted January 19, 2011 Member ID: 295 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 0 Topic Count: 50 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1535 Content Per Day: 0.27 Reputation: 0 Achievement Points: 8175 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/07/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Never Birthday: 01/01/1970 Posted January 19, 2011 to fuckin funny
DEEJAYKEG Posted January 19, 2011 Member ID: 1238 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 35 Topic Count: 1207 Topics Per Day: 0.22 Content Count: 6083 Content Per Day: 1.09 Reputation: 4985 Achievement Points: 50728 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 11 Joined: 03/12/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 11, 2024 Posted January 19, 2011 HOW TO CLEAN THE HOUSE 1. Open a new file in your PC . 2. Name it 'Housework.' 3. Send itto the RECYCLEBIN. 4.Empty the RECYCLEBIN. 5. Your PC will ask you, 'Are you sure you want to delete Houseworkpermanently?' 6. Calmly answer, 'Yes'and press mouse button firmly .... 7. Feel better? Works for me! Awards
wildthing Posted January 19, 2011 Member ID: 36 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 127 Topic Count: 240 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 3862 Content Per Day: 0.67 Reputation: 2303 Achievement Points: 34799 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 19 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 8 hours ago Birthday: 11/22/1968 Device: Windows Posted January 19, 2011 LOL both are great Awards
Lovyan Posted January 19, 2011 Member ID: 1908 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 6 Topic Count: 116 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1209 Content Per Day: 0.22 Reputation: 647 Achievement Points: 9224 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 3 Joined: 10/22/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: June 17 Birthday: 07/21/1980 Device: Windows Posted January 19, 2011 lol thats funny i like the 2nd one also....wonder if Mord does this to clean up. Awards
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