NickTheGrip Posted October 19, 2011 Member ID: 177 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 16 Topic Count: 145 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 1669 Content Per Day: 0.31 Reputation: 281 Achievement Points: 10581 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: June 27, 2023 Birthday: 05/08/1961 Device: iPhone Share Posted October 19, 2011 Some jokes for that "time of the month" I have heard that rugged Canadian girls are using hockey pucks instead of tampons because they generally last for three periods! What did the maxi pad say to the fart? You are the wind beneath my wings. A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?" "Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up. The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?". "One" said the young salesman. "Only one" blurted the boss, "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day . How much was the sale worth?" "Three hundred thousand, three hundred and thirty four dollars," said the young man. "How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss. "Well" said the salesman "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser." The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?" "No" answered the salesman "He came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife and I said to him, You're weekend's shot, you may as well go fishing." Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine the other is four. The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out. The cashier asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?" The nine year old replies "Nope, not for my mom." Without thinking, the cashier responded "Well, they must be for your sister then?" The nine year old quipped, "Nope, not for my sister either." The cashier had now become curious "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister, who are they for?" The nine year old says, "They're for my four year old little brother." The cashier is surprised, "Your four year old little brother??" The nine year old explains, "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can't do either of them!" A lady goes into a grocery store to buy some of those things that ladies use on a monthly basis. As fate would have it she picked up a box without a price on it. When the cashier went to ring it up he noticed there was not a price. As grocery cashiers are so inclined to do, he grabbed the P.A. microphone and said, "Need a price on TAMPAX!" A stock boy who heard the garbled message thought the cashier said, 'Some tacks' and promptly yelled back, "The kind you pound in with a hammer or the kind you push in with your finger?" A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles... the salesgirl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?". He answers, "You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper. So, I figure that if I have to roll my own, SO DOES SHE!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
RD Posted October 19, 2011 Member ID: 2520 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 5 Topic Count: 50 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 627 Content Per Day: 0.13 Reputation: 48 Achievement Points: 3748 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/23/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 16, 2018 Birthday: 08/18/1953 Share Posted October 19, 2011 LMFAO....these are great man!! Thanks +50 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PimpedOutPete Posted October 19, 2011 Member ID: 174 Group: +++ COD2 Head Admin Followers: 129 Topic Count: 387 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 14890 Content Per Day: 2.77 Reputation: 7830 Achievement Points: 91117 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 52 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 3 hours ago Birthday: 04/23/1970 Device: Macintosh Share Posted October 19, 2011 Hahaha.. Great Nick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
BattlewolF Posted October 19, 2011 Member ID: 2028 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 12 Topic Count: 42 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1740 Content Per Day: 0.35 Reputation: 545 Achievement Points: 10637 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/10/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 1 hour ago Birthday: 03/10/1963 Device: Windows Share Posted October 19, 2011 Whaaaaa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Ironeddie Posted October 24, 2011 Member ID: 2799 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 28 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Achievement Points: 150 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/10/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: Never Birthday: 09/04/1963 Share Posted October 24, 2011 awesome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hxtr Posted October 25, 2011 Member ID: 220 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 147 Topic Count: 595 Topics Per Day: 0.11 Content Count: 16950 Content Per Day: 3.15 Reputation: 13538 Achievement Points: 129714 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 120 Joined: 09/04/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 26, 2023 Birthday: 04/05/1970 Device: Windows Share Posted October 25, 2011 lol nice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gomer Pyle Posted October 26, 2011 Member ID: 353 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 7 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 126 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 1 Achievement Points: 695 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/11/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Never Birthday: 08/31/1956 Share Posted October 26, 2011 Those were hilarious Nick ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
my_slave Posted October 27, 2011 Member ID: 1186 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 41 Topic Count: 10 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 283 Content Per Day: 0.05 Reputation: 114 Achievement Points: 2026 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/25/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: May 11 Birthday: 09/12/1982 Device: iPhone Share Posted October 27, 2011 LMAO love it lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
LtLaszlo Posted October 27, 2011 Member ID: 151 Group: ++ COD2 Admin Followers: 62 Topic Count: 186 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 9156 Content Per Day: 1.70 Reputation: 24335 Achievement Points: 94322 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 316 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Monday at 01:34 PM Birthday: 05/17/1959 Device: Windows Share Posted October 27, 2011 LMAO!! "The wind beneath my wings"!! That is hilarious!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
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