Merlin007 Posted May 11, 2014 Member ID: 2068 Group: +++ COD5 Head Admin Followers: 71 Topic Count: 1129 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 8587 Content Per Day: 1.63 Reputation: 7553 Achievement Points: 76616 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 67 Joined: 12/25/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 22 hours ago Birthday: 05/23/1973 Device: Windows Posted May 11, 2014 One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.' I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!' So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.' She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?' Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.' We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.' I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.' Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?' I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.' And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?' Apparently I'm not having sex tonight. djMot, Mule, TBB and 11 others 14 Awards
Spartacus Posted May 11, 2014 Member ID: 1387 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 30 Topic Count: 52 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2540 Content Per Day: 0.46 Reputation: 2486 Achievement Points: 19555 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 3 Joined: 05/02/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 13 Birthday: 06/05/1968 Device: Windows Posted May 11, 2014 Very good one Awards
eidolonFIRE Posted May 11, 2014 Member ID: 2759 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 17 Topic Count: 199 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 3496 Content Per Day: 0.70 Reputation: 3021 Achievement Points: 26464 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 3 Joined: 08/22/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: June 16, 2017 Birthday: 07/27/1990 Posted May 11, 2014 DAMN! that's amazing. If only women thought more logically.
TBB Posted May 11, 2014 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 290 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 20511 Content Per Day: 3.66 Reputation: 22519 Achievement Points: 148075 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 394 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 5 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Posted May 11, 2014 FUNNY!!!! Awards
Sammy Posted May 11, 2014 Member ID: 3036 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 32 Topic Count: 219 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 9419 Content Per Day: 1.92 Reputation: 7515 Achievement Points: 62539 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 21 Joined: 11/29/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: March 17 Birthday: 04/26/2008 Device: Windows Posted May 11, 2014 Awards
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