Marital Bliss

[DEEJAYKEG]

The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie
last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap
could spell disaster.

My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own
fault. I should have taken them off.

I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.


I woke up this morning at 8, and could sense something was wrong..
I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not
breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered
McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30.

Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the
fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I
told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"

My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she
screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"
"Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife
look like she's moving during sex..

[BigPapaDean]

Hahahahahaha

[TBB]

Good ones - thanks!!!

[Nisty*]

:D