DEEJAYKEG Posted June 13, 2015 Member ID: 1238 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 35 Topic Count: 1207 Topics Per Day: 0.22 Content Count: 6083 Content Per Day: 1.10 Reputation: 4985 Achievement Points: 50728 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 11 Joined: 03/12/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 11, 2024 Posted June 13, 2015 NICKNAMES� If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Nobby and Tosser.EATING OUT� When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in a tenner, even though it's only for £25. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.MONEY� A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.BATHROOMS� A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.ARGUMENTS� A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.FUTURE� A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.MARRIAGE� A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. DRESSING UP� A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL� Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.OFFSPRING� Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:A married man should forget his mistakes.There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! TheLastColdBeer, Merlin007, JohnnyDos and 5 others 8 Awards
Merlin007 Posted June 13, 2015 Member ID: 2068 Group: +++ COD5 Head Admin Followers: 71 Topic Count: 1130 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 8588 Content Per Day: 1.63 Reputation: 7562 Achievement Points: 76636 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 67 Joined: 12/25/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: Friday at 10:04 PM Birthday: 05/23/1973 Device: Android Posted June 13, 2015 Those are all good. I especially like the arguments one. Too funny. Awards
little_old_man Posted June 13, 2015 Member ID: 1194 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 40 Topic Count: 436 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 6692 Content Per Day: 1.20 Reputation: 11691 Achievement Points: 53094 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 76 Joined: 02/27/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 16, 2023 Birthday: 04/15/1960 Posted June 13, 2015 eidolonFIRE 1 Awards
TheLastColdBeer Posted June 13, 2015 Member ID: 489 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 52 Topic Count: 553 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 4745 Content Per Day: 0.83 Reputation: 6058 Achievement Points: 42053 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 18 Joined: 09/22/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: December 23, 2024 Birthday: 01/09/1963 Device: Android Posted June 13, 2015 Just remember "Yes Dear", and the arguments disappear. I can't remember ever winning an argument, (and our arguments are virtually silent) without it turning into a Pyrrhic victory. Being right, can be a terrible thing. Most times, when she wants a reply to something that's iffy.....I just smile, and say I'm debating whether it's worth cleaning the cannons. Awards
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