JohnnyDos Posted November 27, 2018 Member ID: 77 Group: Fallen Members Followers: 111 Topic Count: 1018 Topics Per Day: 0.18 Content Count: 7527 Content Per Day: 1.31 Reputation: 9175 Achievement Points: 69486 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 47 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 8, 2020 Posted November 27, 2018 Scary how relatable this is! "$5.37! " That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount." I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen? I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me? I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile. Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler? "Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind! "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!" I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. Then, a few other objects came into focus: The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten dough nut on the dashboard. Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found. I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits. Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized. She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time." All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 mph zone. Yessss, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast. As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey. The good news was that I had successfully found my way home. HarryWeezer, spinpuppy, YACCster and 8 others 1 10
hxtr Posted November 27, 2018 Member ID: 220 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 147 Topic Count: 595 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 16950 Content Per Day: 2.96 Reputation: 13538 Achievement Points: 129714 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 120 Joined: 09/04/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 26, 2023 Birthday: 04/05/1970 Posted November 27, 2018 WOW what a way to find out you are old. Angelz 1
TBB Posted November 27, 2018 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 290 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 20435 Content Per Day: 3.65 Reputation: 22495 Achievement Points: 147659 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 392 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 3 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Posted November 27, 2018 You're not old - just an >IDIOT< hxtr, Angelz and JohnnyDos 1 2 Awards
Blackbart Posted November 27, 2018 Member ID: 51 Group: Fallen Members Followers: 51 Topic Count: 342 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 5974 Content Per Day: 1.04 Reputation: 3766 Achievement Points: 45818 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 27, 2021 Birthday: 06/26/1949 Posted November 27, 2018 Listen to what TBB said, 'cause he is "OLD" and an Idiot... TBB, hxtr, Angelz and 1 other 1 3 Awards
JohnnyDos Posted November 27, 2018 Member ID: 77 Group: Fallen Members Followers: 111 Topic Count: 1018 Topics Per Day: 0.18 Content Count: 7527 Content Per Day: 1.31 Reputation: 9175 Achievement Points: 69486 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 47 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 8, 2020 Author Posted November 27, 2018 Hey(TBB -1946) he's 5 years older than me(J Dos- 1951),but what I say to myself is "at least he made it".Good for him. TBB, hxtr and Blackbart 1 2
GHO5T Posted November 28, 2018 Member ID: 21776 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 3 Topic Count: 15 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 240 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 201 Achievement Points: 2262 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/20/14 Status: Offline Last Seen: September 4, 2022 Birthday: 10/09/1959 Posted November 28, 2018 too funny. 1 question have you received this month copy AARP yet Blackbart, TBB and hxtr 3 Awards
TBB Posted November 28, 2018 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 290 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 20435 Content Per Day: 3.65 Reputation: 22495 Achievement Points: 147659 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 392 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 3 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Posted November 28, 2018 7 hours ago, Blackbart said: Listen to what TBB said, 'cause he is "OLD" and an Idiot... I've got ties older and better looking than you - 2 hours ago, JohnnyDos said: Hey(TBB -1946) he's 5 years older than me(J Dos- 1951),but what I say to myself is "at least he made it".Good for him. Gonna be around for a looooong time - get used to it - 24 minutes ago, GHO5T said: too funny. 1 question have you received this month copy AARP yet You bet - I'm on the front cover!!!!! Blackbart, GHO5T and hxtr 3 Awards
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