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iboomboom

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Posts posted by iboomboom

    Two Cows

    in Jokes and Misc stuff

    Posted

    I don't think this is about cows...

     

     

    53081a6c16665_2Cows.jpg

     

    TWO COWS ~{Matthias Varga}


    SOCIALISM
    You have 2 cows.
    You give one to your neighbour
    ...
    COMMUNISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and gives you some milk

    FASCISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and sells you some milk

    NAZISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and shoots you

    BUREAUCRATISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
    throws the milk away

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy
    grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income

    ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
    your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
    for five cows.
    The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
    The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
    The public then buys your bull.

    SURREALISM
    You have two giraffes.
    The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, and force the other to
    produce the milk of four cows.
    Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
    the cow has dropped dead.

    A GREEK CORPORATION
    You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
    dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
    You still only have two cows.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
    cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
    twenty times the milk.
    You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
    market it worldwide.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows,
    but you don't know where they are.
    You decide to have lunch.

    A SWISS CORPORATION
    You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
    You charge the owners for storing them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
    You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Both are mad.

    AN IRAQI CORPORATION
    Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
    You tell them that you have none.
    No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
    You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

    AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Business seems pretty good.
    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

    A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    The one on the left looks very attractive...    See More

    I makey dee Boom Boom

    in Introductions

    Posted

    Well Boom your in the right place to finally get some skills!

    Now if you get on my team I'll show you how it's done.

     

    I am in the place alright. P90 boobs should not use the word skill or at least pay a licensing fee  :happy:.

    Aloha from paradise fellow idiots

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Are 

     

    Well...tomorrow is my last day here in beautiful Hawaii. Have spent the last 7 days enjoying some quality time with the wife while grandma and pappa watch the girls. We are staying in Ko Olina on Oahu...and the hotel next to our condo building was rented out by the entire NFL for Pro Bowl. My wife and I had dinner last night at a local restaurant (Monkeypod) and sat at the bar...we ended up sitting next to two coaches for the Indianapolis Colts .....had beers and shot the shit with them for two hours....what a blast that was. The strength coach Roger is a fellow fisherman...so I may even get to take him fishing the next time the Colts come out to play the Seahawks.

    Here is a selfie I took with the Mrs on our balcony.

    Aloha and Mahalo bitches...see you on COD 4 freezetag next week.attachicon.gifimage.jpg

     

    Are we suppose to turn the monitor upside down? I was wondering where you disappeared to, even though u mentioned it.

    Learn Chinese in 5 minutes

    in Jokes and Misc stuff

    Posted

    It's funny because it makes sense while it shouldn't :P

     

    I didn't mean to imply racist racist, but our ignorant perception of a foreign language molded to the likes of a familiar linguistic medium. I read this a long time ago too, almost died laughing when I first read it.

     

    By the way, did you guys read it out loud, in a Chinese accent?

     

    Learn+Chinese+in+5+Minutes+_08fe2a_5481.

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