RobMc

As I live on the border we make fun of each other a lot heres two, only Scots may get the first :- Two neds walking down the road in Glasgow, 1st Ned 'Ach your lace is loose Angus', 2nd Ned 'Nae it isn't, it says on the bottom Taiwan'. A Cockney (London) wins a fortune on the lottery, being from the city he's always dreamt of living miles from anyone, so buys a wee croft up in the Cairngorms, miles from anywhere. Two weeks later, sitting by a peat fire, blizzard raging outside there's a knock on the door, he opens it. This huge Scotsman is standing there, Red hair, long ginger beard, kilt, sporran and dagger (dirk) in his sock. Scotsman - 'Och I'm Mctavish from the next croft and I've come to invite you to a wee cèilidh (dance) Cockney = 'Oh what is that?' Scotsman = 'Och you know, you have a wee dram, a bite to eat, a wee drink and afterwards wild sex' Cockney = 'Sounds great, hold on I'll get ready' Scotsman = 'Ach theres no need to bother, there'll only be the two of us'

Hey I got one?? Run and Gun, if I insult you all some more could I have a bucketful?? Elvis is there a medal for singing?? you'll never get that one

Theres lots on here abuse themselves daily, can I sell mine?

Is it the wrong time of month?? you seem grumpy?

Had two bits with my fried breakfast this morning, I love it, white puddings nice too but you rarely see it outside of Ireland.

Welcome Warape

Welcome Luke

At last, now you might stay out of the pub longer, hi m8

Drink less beer you're not accidentally hitting the windows key on your keyboard or have anything linked to it have you? that normally minimises by sending to taskbar, presume you mean it just gets smaller, before you start doing complicated things and googling it to find a million solutions go over your settings, of course you could always try restoring to just before it happened, a simple solution and worth a try.

Have a great day

I usually call the women 'lass', both were common terms in my grandparents age, when dialects (then strong but now disappearing) were used locally, another term was 'hinny' or 'hen', these terms die out over time, next time I 'cuddle you' defrosting I'll whisper it in your ear lol.

That goes from me too m8

Noooooooooo! fight like a man, use a gun Have you met Beers?? you two would get on like a house on fire?

You were right, boy is he fast, sliced me good but I gave him something to think about, he died a lot too, you're next gal !!

Hi son (I call everyone son regardless of age) you'll enjoy it I'm sure, I'm new and love it, but yes the better computer and less ping you have the easier it gets.

Unfortunately Pete we already have - 'I have no doubt that London and the UK will never bend to this type of tyranny' - if you read the previous posts you will see we did exactly that with the IRA, who were supported in money and arms from your side of the water, as people mistakenly thought of them as 'freedom fighters'. I was once in a bar in New York when they came round with a bucket collecting for them at the height of the troubles, we made exactly the same mistakes with them that that we are making now with one exception, in the end we interred the worst ones. Then, as now, we knew each individual, but now they have a new law protecting them, 'Human Rights', believe me the worst law any civilised country ever introduced for protecting criminals. So as history dictates our civilisation will collapse through weakness as others did before us, we are at the start of it, any weakness or appeasment strengthens the oppressor, the very basic thing every kid learns with any bully. So the die has been set, it has been proven that terrorism triumphs in the end, and most of you are probably quite unaware this has happened in Western society, as far as I'm aware we are the only European country to have capitulated to terrorist acts. Deejaykeg pointed out that we both lived through bloodshed and terrible atrocities to the same innocent people who now suffer, including non combatitive women and children, but this never seemed to register with people outside the UK, possibly because it never affected their country. Now it is different, it affects everywhere, so people are more aware, but it is the same rhetoric, the same tactics and the same mindset, we have been at war with someone forever in the UK, this lot are just the latest. To me it is very very simple, anyone who does not want to 'join in' with us either leaves or is jailed, or if proven to have committed offences executed (shock/horror from the liberals) that way they don't come back and we have no costs, they choose. I remember a picture a long time ago (quite famous at the time) of an Israeli beauty contest, each of the girls had a machine gun on their shoulder, are we coming to that? I fear we are.

The Brits will get this, 'Coronation Street' , the boxed set will arrive by train and need a forklift. Who could forget Ena Sharples and Elsie Tanner? in black and white.

Chiswick was the only place I could think of, and of course we all know the 'man' you're referring to, although surprisingly he now denies all knowledge, must have Alzheimers? god forbid he gets in, we'll definitely be in trouble then.

Yep and what did we do, gave in and made them MP's and gave a pardon? some resolve we have, on our track record parliament will finally be blown up not by Guy Fawkes 2, but by the honourable member from Chiswick accidentally detonating their suicide vest lol!

I'd guessed that me old son, but times do move on, the younger policemen have a different mindset now, they too are worried and not unnaturally want to come home to their families, these are not baddies as we knew them, these people are quite happy to commit suicide for their cause, and their favourite targets are police and servicemen - currently defenceless. I know we have a few ex USA police officers on our forum and would be interested to hear their comments, they have more experience than us, may I remind you of that poor policeman in Belgium, who was armed but was down, they casually walked up to him and finished him off. I too think it a sad day, and sincerely hope you are right, but I can think of no other way to confront armed baddies than better armed policemen, ultimately they need to keep themselves safe and secure to keep the rest of us secure, and that my friend is what it's all about at the end of the day.

Hi Deejaykeg, You are correct but that was only introduced around 2005, after much reluctance and being dropped many times since mooted in 2001 as a hot potato, which makes anyone in their teens and over likely not to have done this test, their parents certainly may not speak English, especially the women, there are many articles on this subject by womens rights campaigners. On policemen being armed, I don't know where you get those figures from as they just ain't true mate, and believe me the ones I know, although reluctantly, carry guns on a regular basis, true they are not permanently armed but they are not far removed if necessary. I don't want to say more as you never know who reads this not that I know any more than the average Joe, but reading my local papers gives you enough info. Sorry about the melodrama, but it amazes me how many documentaries are on telly showing us the tricks , weapons and tactics of special forces and police, now is the time to stop these being made and the bad boy prepared for them., it certainly doesn't do much for their safety. If I remember correctly Manchester was the first city to have permanent armed patrols in a certain famous section about 10-15 years ago, it will come, reluctantly but through necessity, we will have to lose many good policemen until politicians can no longer ignore it, but it will come.

Ronin is a great film, another one I enjoyed was The American with Clooney much to my surprise good plot but acting was so so, I hate people who impersonate me, he's often mistaken for me I hear (are you listening girls?)

Hi Joe, you're correct, and we all know what is wrong and what needs doing but this is where democracy fails, politicians need votes, a dictator would not have any problem, so nothing ever gets done, even the second world war with all the years of build up, our politicians thought nothing was wrong and they had a 'deal'. We do not even require these immigrants to speak our native tongue or give any form of allegiance, instead we provide (at our cost) translators, social workers etc etc etc, the signs are in 16 different languages in my doctors, in the home of 'English'. Put simply we are barking mad and have let this happen through our own laziness and inattention. Do not worry about your daughter, statistically London is a safe place, it could easily be Dalhousie/Toronto or Alberta, they targeted France, then Belgium, then Germany, then us, they will move on to the next easy country and this will not stop, terrorism is here to stay. I know nothing about politics over there, only what I learn through this forum, but Trump has it spot on where this is concerned, you listen to what he's saying or you will become like us. What I would say to you all thinking of holidays in Europe, is that there is more chance of getting killed by road accident than terrorists, see it in perspective, the USA gun wise is far more dangerous statistically. My son lived in Toronto and it wasn't squeaky clean, but tell her to look at what they target, they hate our freedoms, especially womens, and you will notice it is pop concerts and young peoples haunts they go for, easy targets, so stay away from those and reduce the odds, the superstars may lose money but hey ho!