JohnnyDos Posted August 21, 2013 Member ID: 77 Group: Fallen Members Followers: 111 Topic Count: 1018 Topics Per Day: 0.18 Content Count: 7527 Content Per Day: 1.30 Reputation: 9175 Achievement Points: 69486 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 47 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 8, 2020 Posted August 21, 2013 Constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious, dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out of a spouse was $10,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar coin that rested inside.Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed. A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Costco Warehouse. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the premises. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested. The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (You're going to hate me for this...) "ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Costco" Oh, quit groaning! I don't write this stuff, I receive it from my other warped friends, and then send it on to you. blk_plague, Gatorgirl and Blackbart 3
deerejon Posted August 21, 2013 Member ID: 842 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 62 Topic Count: 278 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 3715 Content Per Day: 0.65 Reputation: 3153 Achievement Points: 28474 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 4 Joined: 12/06/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Thursday at 04:09 PM Birthday: 05/04/1965 Device: Windows Posted August 21, 2013 groan.. lol...it was so bad it was good... Awards
TBB Posted August 21, 2013 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 293 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 21369 Content Per Day: 3.77 Reputation: 23034 Achievement Points: 153091 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 416 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 5 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: iPad Posted August 21, 2013 I don't believe I read the whole thing!!!! Awards
blk_plague Posted August 21, 2013 Member ID: 3791 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 48 Topic Count: 117 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 846 Content Per Day: 0.18 Reputation: 1141 Achievement Points: 8884 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 10/11/12 Status: Offline Last Seen: July 3, 2024 Birthday: 09/29/1970 Posted August 21, 2013 LMFAO. sooo punnnnnyyyy Awards
BigPapaDean Posted August 21, 2013 Member ID: 1128 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 78 Topic Count: 1217 Topics Per Day: 0.22 Content Count: 6581 Content Per Day: 1.17 Reputation: 4445 Achievement Points: 63856 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 6 Joined: 02/13/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: July 8 Birthday: 10/21/1954 Device: Windows Posted August 21, 2013 WHAT VSTORE IS THAT SO i CAN GET SOME! i LOVE ARTIE CHOKES! Awards
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