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Siamese twins walk into a pub in Ontario and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the landlord, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm Jack, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please'. The landlord, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. 'Been on holiday yet, lads?' 'Off to England next month,' says Jack. 'We go to England every year and hire a car and drive for miles, don't we, Jim?' Jim agrees. 'Ah, England!' says the landlord. 'Wonderful country... the history, the beer, the culture...' Nah, we don't like that British crap,' says Jack. 'Hamburgers & Molsons beer, that's us, eh Jim? And we can't stand the English - they're so arrogant and rude.' 'So why keep going to England?' asks the landlord. 'It's the only chance Jim gets to drive.'

XtremeIdiots would like to wish all members celebrating their birthday today a happy birthday. wahoo4 (51)Marskeman (53)Millpucky (52)Ghostlupus (69)

i finally found out where you lot get your butt nades from !!!

Rex hope Bio wears gloves handling those missles when extracts them or are they self ejecting when nature calls. sorry Bio had to laugh like your socks

you should buy trees from canada better than this china tree

A couple take on an 18 year old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bathroom and she could use a tin bath in front of the fire. "Mondays the best night, when my husband goes out to darts", she said, so the girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday. After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched as the girl got undressed. She was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any pubic hair and told her husband when he came home. He didn't believe her so she said, "Next week I'll leave a gap in the curtains so that you can see for yourself". The following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked, "Do you shave?" "No", replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hairs down there. Do you have hairs?" "Oh yes", said the woman and she showed off her great, hairy muff. When the husband got back in she asked, "Did you see it?" "Yes", he said. "But why did you have to show her yours?" "Why not?" she said. "You've seen it all before." "I know", he said, "but the darts team hasn't"!

If you have been thinking about attending >XI< Fest but haven't made that final decision yet, there is still time and room to join us! We have an amazing house booked in Kissimmee, FL, and it's ALWAYS a great time when a bunch of Idiots gather Let me know if you are interested in the details, and I'll send them over to you. We love seeing new faces each year! And, if you're still not sure, here's a recap of some of the members that were interviewed about attending an >XI< Fest: There are several other interviews in the forums, just search "The XI Fest Interviews" to find more!

happy birthday!! Alles Gute zum Geburtstag !!

Happy Birthday everyone.

Nice Bio! lol

Thank you Skuz!

Thank you Skuz!

Global agreement !!!!!!!!

Thanks Skuzapo!

Thank You Skuzapo!

Erasumus Shuttlecock opened his eyes slowly and grudgingly, he didn’t want the dream to go away. Last night he had wiped the floor with Pink, P3nhead, Fry,Sharpe and all the other wannabe great players in COD4. He was now the greatest player Ftag had ever seen. This completed the set, he’d already headed the field in COD2 and WAW, surely now they would bestow on him the ultimate honour, to join the clan and eventually oust the Seniors and reign supreme in the world of gaming. After all he was a young 47, still living with mam and dad, but with years of gaming ahead of him, to which his life was dedicated. Occasionally he longed for a girlfriend you didn’t have to inflate, but hey ho, every great player makes sacrifices don’t they? Besides which he knew she loved him judging by the squeaks and hisses when he kissed her. The only drawback was that he knew everyone hated him, even more than that Robmc, and boy was he hated. That was the problem, you had to get asked and no one would talk to him, they all faked stealth mode now when he played. The man who had asked Robmc all those years ago had been punished by wandering around in limbo, looking for someone to play with, R.I.P. Beers. No one would risk asking him to join, they’d be fed to Piglo in an instant, a fate worse than playing all morning with MajBasil, they wouldn’t risk that? He could join Essssieeee, Dot and Bio on their Ftag server, but he knew what happened to those getting close to Essssieeee by Rob, no on second thoughts MajBasil would be a preferable fate. So how to do it?? And then he had a thought?? How about if I married into the Clan?? Brilliant, couldn’t refuse me then, might even make some tiny idiots for Piglo to feed on. He looked through the members section, picturing the wedding already, surrounded by gamers, headsets on and frantic with energy, wait until she saw his joystick, it was a done deal. They could honeymoon at the next conference, now who should he choose?? Better start at the top he thought :- Gatorgirl, risky?, I’d have to contend with her Texan cowboy bodyguard, armed to the teeth WldPenguin, possible, but too much competition in game, sexy voice distracting Sally, a definite probable love her ftag server, would mean changes in my gaming Ausigirl, too far away to return to Mam and Dad if things went ‘tit’s up’. CrazyGirl, the name puts me off AthenaA, Lovely lady but I don’t speak French, already has loads of kids Essssieeee?, no chance of getting between Rob and Bio, they’d destroy me with prose or germs Moving down to members it hit me like a SledgeHammer, how did I miss her, the perfect woman for me. ICEQUEEN, it ‘s so obvious, a quiet homely girl, not wild like the others, demure, quiet and deadly with a ‘weapon’, especially the larger ones. I’ll PM her a.s.a.p. with my proposal, how could she resist? I’ll let you know who’s invited to the wedding. Soon I’ll be an Idiot, just like all my friends

Unfriending before Facebook came along.....

Now we'll see what Yaccster has to say about XI Fest: So, Yaccster, how many XI Fests have you attended? I’ve been to 9 of the 11 that have been in North America so far, didn’t even know about the first XI fest, think I attended the second fest before I was an official XI member. And which location has been your favorite? The last one, always seems to be the last one was the best, they keep getting better each and every time. Do you like staying in a house better than in a hotel room? The house(s) are awesome, much better to chill out in and get to know folks, much more space to get comfortable. Which activity(ies) do you like the most? Fan of hanging out with folks, gambling and of course going to the range and slinging some lead. There are always things to do: Cornhole, Hottubbing, sometimes paintball, boating or go-karting. What would you say are 3 things that no one should forget to pack? Well, Pigs of course, it’s not a party if pigs aren’t there. Cash for side bets. And whatever your favorite indulgence is. Do you have a favorite or funniest memory? There are so many, one of my favorites was when playing paintball I got to ask Bob Barker how he thought my balls tasted. And lastly, what advice would you give to someone who's thinking about going for the first time? Don’t over think it, just a group of folks that mostly like similar stuff, come and have fun! And there you have it folks! Just do it! Thanks, @YACCster, looking forward to seeing you soon!

Here's what Scripter has to say about his XI Fest experiences: So, were you nervous to attend your first XI Fest? TBH, yes, but it only took like 3 minutes to get over that once I arrived in Cincinnati. Did you bring anyone else with you, or did you attend alone? Cincy, I took my at the time girlfriend, we had a blast. GA and Gatlinburg my wife Sharon went with me, and we had a fantastic time. How do you travel - by plane, car, other? Cincy and GA, drove my work vehicle. Gatlinburg, Sharon and I each rode our Harleys. Do you think it's worth spending the money for 4 the nights? Oh GOD yes. How would you feel if you had to miss this year's Fest? Extremely sad. What is your favorite or funniest memory of XI Fest? Cincy, just observing BobBarker lol. I was so glad i got to meet Cobra before he passed, i would not have missed that for the world. GA, the fact that everyone accepted my Brother and his Wife for the evening. Gatlinburg, the side bets on which window the lightning strike would be in LOL! As to fun, there are loads of them, from the little beer to the pewpews at the range. What is your advice to someone who's never been to XI Fest? GO. Go straight to fest, and enjoy. you will have zero regrets. Thanks so much, @ScRiPt3r, it will be great to see you soon!

lol Wish that Motherfucking Barker would come back. Lots of good memorable times playing with that idiot.