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Posted

Since
it was such a crappy day I sat in my recliner and started
> thinking about life and came to realize
> that:

Ø As I
have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is
> impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of
> cake.

Ø Condoms don't guarantee safe
> sex anymore, a friend of mine was wearing one when he was
> shot by the woman's
> husband.

Ø Lance
> Armstrong….I think it is just terrible and disgusting how
> everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what
> he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races, while on drugs. Hell,
> when I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my fucking
> bike.

Ø Drive
By….Someone broke into my house last week. They didn't
> take my TV, just the remote.  Now they drive by and
> change the channels. The Sick
> bastards!!!

Ø The
> Agony of Aging….On the morning that Daylight Savings Time
> ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy
> covering his penis with black shoe
> polish. I
> said to him, "You better get your hearing checked -
> You're supposed to turn your clock
> back”.

Ø Video
> Scam….Just got scammed out of $25.  Bought Tiger
> Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes". Turns
> out it's all about golf.  Absolute waste of
> money! Pass
> this on so others don't get
> scammed.

ØPregnant
> Prostitute…Doctor asks a pregnant prostitute, "do you
> know who the father is?" "Hey dumb ass, she replied,
> if you ate a can of  beans would you know which one
> made you fart????



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Posted

bloody fucking funnny, esp the remote one :P



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Posted

:drinks:

 

Reminds of the vid of the reporter that talked about, live on the air, a black cock helicopter.



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Posted

Tiger Woods favorite 18 holes. I about died... Funny stuff


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