LMAO, McRib.
You just gave me an idea: instead of wasting my rifle shells with warning shots, we can just feed you lots of beans and keep a Bic lighter handy for some "flambe (with an apostrophe over the "e," pronounced "flambay")" action; i.e., we see a bear, McRib bends over, Ayaq lights the Bic next to McRib's derriere, McRib shows how much methane he's built up in his innards, "Whoosh!!!"
The night darkness momentarily turns into day, Ayaq curses again because all of the hair on his right hand and arm have been singed off (again), and reminds himself that his hand is nearly "well-done" by now, and that he should switch hands to even out the "cooking action."
McRib stands up, blinking rapidly because he forgot to not look backwards lest he be blinded by the proverbial light, and says, "Ayaq, how'd you like that one? Where are you? I can't see . . ."
Lol.
Don't get me started, bud . . .
Mr. McRib, I loved your "UK Version" post.
Literally laughed my ass off.
You have anymore?
I'd be willing to bet we'd have a blast.
Literally.
Ayaq