WolfTiS Posted January 26, 2011 Member ID: 1130 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 28 Topic Count: 216 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 2267 Content Per Day: 0.41 Reputation: 586 Achievement Points: 17291 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 3 Joined: 02/13/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: July 12, 2021 Birthday: 04/02/1948 Posted January 26, 2011 Yesterday I was at my local SAM'S CLUB buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Sam's Club won't let me shop there anymore. Awards
welchsgrapejuice Posted January 26, 2011 Member ID: 296 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 7 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 121 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 20 Achievement Points: 808 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/07/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: March 3, 2023 Birthday: 07/26/1986 Posted January 26, 2011 LOL, too funny
Super Max Posted January 26, 2011 Member ID: 558 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 57 Topic Count: 578 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 3789 Content Per Day: 0.67 Reputation: 1490 Achievement Points: 29104 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 7 Joined: 10/14/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Yesterday at 09:35 AM Birthday: 06/09/1964 Device: Windows Posted January 26, 2011 lol was she blond Awards
Ov3rKi11 Posted January 26, 2011 Member ID: 265 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 40 Topic Count: 36 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 686 Content Per Day: 0.12 Reputation: 421 Achievement Points: 25197 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/06/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Tuesday at 11:53 AM Birthday: 05/22/1969 Device: iPhone Posted January 26, 2011 LOL...thats a good one Awards
Damage_inc- Posted January 26, 2011 Member ID: 2048 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 294 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 6689 Content Per Day: 1.27 Reputation: 4709 Achievement Points: 48999 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 5 Joined: 12/15/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: November 29, 2023 Birthday: 05/30/1967 Posted January 26, 2011 HILARIOUS.N1 Awards
wildthing Posted January 26, 2011 Member ID: 36 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 126 Topic Count: 239 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 3861 Content Per Day: 0.67 Reputation: 2303 Achievement Points: 34784 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 19 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Tuesday at 07:29 PM Birthday: 11/22/1968 Device: Windows Posted January 26, 2011 ROTFLMAO that was a good one. Awards
tsw 8.5 Posted January 27, 2011 Member ID: 906 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 144 Topic Count: 537 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 17548 Content Per Day: 3.12 Reputation: 42647 Achievement Points: 151966 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 691 Joined: 12/20/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 9 hours ago Birthday: 11/30/1960 Device: Windows Posted January 27, 2011 i thought you stopped in the road to lick your nuts and got hit by a car ..sorry my bad Awards
Iron Belly Posted January 27, 2011 Member ID: 1493 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 16 Topic Count: 10 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 314 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 40 Achievement Points: 1885 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/09/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: June 14, 2016 Birthday: 01/14/1965 Posted January 27, 2011 WOW! THE BEST STORY IVE HEARD IN A LONG TIME! HOPE I DO NOT HAVE TO TRY IT!
NickTheGrip Posted January 27, 2011 Member ID: 177 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 16 Topic Count: 145 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 1669 Content Per Day: 0.29 Reputation: 281 Achievement Points: 10581 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: June 27, 2023 Birthday: 05/08/1961 Posted January 27, 2011 LOL Awards
LtLaszlo Posted January 27, 2011 Member ID: 151 Group: ++ COD2 Admin Followers: 62 Topic Count: 189 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 9238 Content Per Day: 1.61 Reputation: 24523 Achievement Points: 95518 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 323 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 4 hours ago Birthday: 05/17/1959 Device: Windows Posted January 27, 2011 You should have started humping her leg!! LOL. No wait, probably a harassment charge so don't do that!! Hehehe. Awards
SGTDANKO Posted January 27, 2011 Member ID: 3214 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 27 Topic Count: 206 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 2362 Content Per Day: 0.49 Reputation: 50 Achievement Points: 14004 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/21/12 Status: Offline Last Seen: July 4, 2015 Birthday: 06/23/1981 Posted January 27, 2011 roflmfao nice
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