WolfTiS Posted January 26, 2011 Member ID: 1130 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 28 Topic Count: 216 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 2267 Content Per Day: 0.44 Reputation: 586 Achievement Points: 17291 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 3 Joined: 02/13/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: July 12, 2021 Birthday: 04/02/1948 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Yesterday I was at my local SAM'S CLUB buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Sam's Club won't let me shop there anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
welchsgrapejuice Posted January 26, 2011 Member ID: 296 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 7 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 121 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 20 Achievement Points: 808 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/07/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: March 3, 2023 Birthday: 07/26/1986 Share Posted January 26, 2011 LOL, too funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Max Posted January 26, 2011 Member ID: 558 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 576 Topics Per Day: 0.11 Content Count: 3785 Content Per Day: 0.71 Reputation: 1477 Achievement Points: 29048 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 7 Joined: 10/14/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 24 Birthday: 06/06/1964 Device: Windows Share Posted January 26, 2011 lol was she blond Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Ov3rKi11 Posted January 26, 2011 Member ID: 265 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 40 Topic Count: 34 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 673 Content Per Day: 0.13 Reputation: 412 Achievement Points: 25064 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/06/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 8 Birthday: 05/22/1969 Device: iPhone Share Posted January 26, 2011 LOL...thats a good one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Damage_inc- Posted January 26, 2011 Member ID: 2048 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 294 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 6689 Content Per Day: 1.36 Reputation: 4709 Achievement Points: 48999 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 5 Joined: 12/15/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: November 29, 2023 Birthday: 05/30/1967 Device: Windows Share Posted January 26, 2011 HILARIOUS.N1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
wildthing Posted January 26, 2011 Member ID: 36 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 124 Topic Count: 235 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 3845 Content Per Day: 0.72 Reputation: 2247 Achievement Points: 34608 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 17 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Sunday at 06:58 PM Birthday: 11/22/1968 Device: Windows Share Posted January 26, 2011 ROTFLMAO that was a good one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
tsw 8.5 Posted January 27, 2011 Member ID: 906 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 144 Topic Count: 515 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 17108 Content Per Day: 3.25 Reputation: 42103 Achievement Points: 148749 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 678 Joined: 12/20/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 1 hour ago Birthday: 11/30/1960 Device: Windows Share Posted January 27, 2011 i thought you stopped in the road to lick your nuts and got hit by a car ..sorry my bad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Iron Belly Posted January 27, 2011 Member ID: 1493 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 16 Topic Count: 10 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 314 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 40 Achievement Points: 1885 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/09/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: June 14, 2016 Birthday: 01/14/1965 Share Posted January 27, 2011 WOW! THE BEST STORY IVE HEARD IN A LONG TIME! HOPE I DO NOT HAVE TO TRY IT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickTheGrip Posted January 27, 2011 Member ID: 177 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 16 Topic Count: 145 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 1669 Content Per Day: 0.31 Reputation: 281 Achievement Points: 10581 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: June 27, 2023 Birthday: 05/08/1961 Device: iPhone Share Posted January 27, 2011 LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
LtLaszlo Posted January 27, 2011 Member ID: 151 Group: ++ COD2 Admin Followers: 62 Topic Count: 186 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 9155 Content Per Day: 1.70 Reputation: 24334 Achievement Points: 94312 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 316 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Saturday at 11:51 PM Birthday: 05/17/1959 Device: Kindle Fire Share Posted January 27, 2011 You should have started humping her leg!! LOL. No wait, probably a harassment charge so don't do that!! Hehehe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
SGTDANKO Posted January 27, 2011 Member ID: 3214 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 27 Topic Count: 206 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 2362 Content Per Day: 0.53 Reputation: 50 Achievement Points: 14004 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/21/12 Status: Offline Last Seen: July 4, 2015 Birthday: 06/23/1981 Share Posted January 27, 2011 roflmfao nice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts