JohnnyDos Posted January 20, 2016 Member ID: 77 Group: Fallen Members Followers: 111 Topic Count: 1018 Topics Per Day: 0.18 Content Count: 7527 Content Per Day: 1.31 Reputation: 9175 Achievement Points: 69486 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 47 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 8, 2020 Posted January 20, 2016 The Costco Doctor One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars. A lot cheaper than a doctor." So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Costco." That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure. Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9) 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7) 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better. Thank you for shopping at Costco! Sammy, White_Dragon, bds1961 and 7 others 10
Hunter1948 Posted January 20, 2016 Member ID: 1850 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 98 Topic Count: 328 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 8620 Content Per Day: 1.61 Reputation: 4222 Achievement Points: 55994 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 5 Joined: 09/29/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: November 29, 2023 Birthday: 06/19/1948 Posted January 20, 2016 LMAO good one Johnny Awards
KTWEST Posted January 21, 2016 Member ID: 242 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 6 Topic Count: 20 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 202 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 33 Achievement Points: 1256 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/04/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: February 24 Birthday: 08/17/1955 Device: Windows Posted January 21, 2016 That was a good one White_Dragon 1 Awards
White_Dragon Posted January 22, 2016 Member ID: 20018 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 27 Topic Count: 47 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 184 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 244 Achievement Points: 1870 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/08/13 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 9, 2023 Birthday: 07/01/1952 Posted January 22, 2016 So how is your tennis elbow doing Johnny? LOL good one Awards
JohnnyDos Posted January 22, 2016 Member ID: 77 Group: Fallen Members Followers: 111 Topic Count: 1018 Topics Per Day: 0.18 Content Count: 7527 Content Per Day: 1.31 Reputation: 9175 Achievement Points: 69486 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 47 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 8, 2020 Author Posted January 22, 2016
KenMan Posted January 22, 2016 Member ID: 410 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 4 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 2033 Content Per Day: 0.35 Reputation: 428 Achievement Points: 10669 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/16/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: August 15, 2020 Birthday: 12/04/1948 Posted January 22, 2016 Great, got a Costco coming to my area next year. Awards
Sammy Posted January 22, 2016 Member ID: 3036 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 32 Topic Count: 219 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 9419 Content Per Day: 1.91 Reputation: 7515 Achievement Points: 62539 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 21 Joined: 11/29/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: March 17 Birthday: 04/26/2008 Device: Windows Posted January 22, 2016 Costco sure is useful for many things. Awards
Daxx68 Posted January 22, 2016 Member ID: 528 Group: ++ Minecraft Admin Followers: 6 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 271 Content Per Day: 0.05 Reputation: 88 Achievement Points: 1614 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/27/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: May 9 Birthday: 02/13/1968 Device: Windows Posted January 22, 2016 Wow I need to get a new membership. LOL Awards
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