RobMc

Engineers joke Try easystart

The Human body is amazing It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. One human hair can support 6.6 pounds. The average man's penis is two times the length of his thumb. Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet. Women blink twice as often as men. The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain. Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still. If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it. Women will be finished reading this by now. Men are still busy checking their thumbs.

You Jealous of @BUDMAN????

The Parrot A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's' mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the Turkey did?"

Not surprising to us in the UK who know Scottish girls

THE SCOTTISH COW. The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk. Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply. So, they brought the cow over from Scotland . It was absolutely wonderful, it produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy. They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull, and he was never able to do the deed. The people were very upset and decided to go to the Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice. "Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side." The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Scotland ?" The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland .. "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Scotland ? The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye: "My wife is from Scotland "

OK, but take a look at these T32's, they are not the same tread pattern on your bike?? at least by the photos they ain't? I might be wrong but your photos show less tread pattern? These look better remember there is a very simple rule, all tyres stick well in the dry, few stick well in the wet. See other comments, you do not appear to have the sport touring tyre fitted, they do a whole range of T's, what does it say on the sidewall??? This is an expensive machine, now I have no idea what the weather is like where you live, but no way would I use these in the UK other than the summer, as we say here keep it shiny side up.

I should be so lucky??

Nah, it's if you listen to Pete you are doomed

Sport - Yes Touring - definitely not OK for a quick shower, like riding on marbles in a downpour

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa." The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?' The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do." The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this, "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma." The next day the grandmother died. "Holy crap" thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the other side." Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy." He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?" He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life." She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my tennis coach dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"

This is not Youtube, surely it can't be funny??, oh yes it is

Two stroke diesels notoriously noisy and unreliable, that's why they didn't make many, I remember Detroits in particular as being screamers.

BY POPULAR DEMAND THIS CHARITY APPEAL IS BEING PROMOTED Please ignore the idiots diverting this heartfelt message, they have to bring their lustful thoughts into every post. In fact I've thought of an idea, I'm going to get @FlyingDutch to say a prayer for their poor lost souls, how many clans have their own clergyman?? Condemn them to hell Dutch, now DO WE HAVE ANY WITCH DOCTORS OR SHAMANS??? I need a spell casting

Doctors in the Seychelles who treated the holidaymaker chewed up by a shark said he didn't suffer too much, he had only been married 11 days.....