JohnnyDos Posted September 18, 2016 Member ID: 77 Group: Fallen Members Followers: 111 Topic Count: 1018 Topics Per Day: 0.18 Content Count: 7527 Content Per Day: 1.30 Reputation: 9175 Achievement Points: 69486 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 47 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 8, 2020 Posted September 18, 2016 Florida A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, Enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, Then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" And pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper. Georgia The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings." Louisiana A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world." Mississippi The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"B ubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number." South Carolina A man in South Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither." Tennessee (My Favorite!) A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"The driver replied, "Bout whut?" Texas The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head." "Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' " Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South,But y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North. Spartacus, Blackbart, bds1961 and 4 others 7
AyaqGuyaq Posted September 18, 2016 Member ID: 3773 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 39 Topic Count: 30 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 3138 Content Per Day: 0.68 Reputation: 2983 Achievement Points: 24456 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 10 Joined: 10/06/12 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 29, 2022 Birthday: 11/03/1966 Posted September 18, 2016 (edited) Good ones, Jonny. You forgot about Alabama, where most expectant women--after the doctor tells them that they're pregnant--ask, "Are ya'll sure it's mine?" Not OUR fine >XI< ladies, mind you. Ayaq Edited September 18, 2016 by AyaqGuyaq TBB, Spartacus and LtLaszlo 3 Awards
hxtr Posted September 18, 2016 Member ID: 220 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 147 Topic Count: 595 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 16950 Content Per Day: 2.94 Reputation: 13538 Achievement Points: 129714 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 120 Joined: 09/04/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 26, 2023 Birthday: 04/05/1970 Posted September 18, 2016 That is the truth. Florida and Texas has few retired folks moving up north. Why would anyone want to live up north. Spartacus and Blackbart 2
Spartacus Posted September 18, 2016 Member ID: 1387 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 30 Topic Count: 52 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2540 Content Per Day: 0.46 Reputation: 2486 Achievement Points: 19555 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 3 Joined: 05/02/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: June 15 Birthday: 06/05/1968 Device: Windows Posted September 18, 2016 That is the truth. Florida and Texas has few retired folks moving up north. Why would anyone want to live up north. Take it from an old Freedom loving Yankee (one of the last here in Peep's Rep Of Ct)... No one is more Free than the South, because up here you are a Slave to the High Real Estate Prices, Whacky Regulations and your Taxes. New England has reverted to Old England Tax wise. Down South you still have pretty much the Right to be Left The Fuck Alone! TBB, hxtr, LtLaszlo and 1 other 4 Awards
TBB Posted September 18, 2016 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 290 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 21073 Content Per Day: 3.73 Reputation: 22817 Achievement Points: 151321 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 408 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 1 hour ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Posted September 18, 2016 That is the truth. Florida and Texas has few retired folks moving up north. Why would anyone want to live up north. 'Cause you're not there hxtr, AyaqGuyaq and L!ckALotAPus 3 Awards
Damage_inc- Posted September 18, 2016 Member ID: 2048 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 294 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 6689 Content Per Day: 1.26 Reputation: 4709 Achievement Points: 48999 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 5 Joined: 12/15/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: November 29, 2023 Birthday: 05/30/1967 Posted September 18, 2016 the north bleeds you dry then u die -old idiots move south because its cheaper to live there LtLaszlo, hxtr, Blackbart and 1 other 4 Awards
PimpedOutPete Posted September 19, 2016 Member ID: 174 Group: +++ COD2 Head Admin Followers: 130 Topic Count: 387 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 15030 Content Per Day: 2.60 Reputation: 8047 Achievement Points: 92227 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 59 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 8 hours ago Birthday: 04/23/1970 Device: Macintosh Posted September 19, 2016 Nice lol Awards
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