wildthing Posted January 9, 2011 Member ID: 36 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 126 Topic Count: 239 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 3861 Content Per Day: 0.67 Reputation: 2303 Achievement Points: 34784 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 19 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Tuesday at 07:29 PM Birthday: 11/22/1968 Device: Windows Posted January 9, 2011 5 Minute Management Course Lesson 1 : A priest offered a Nun a lift... She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.....The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up herleg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. Itsaid, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.' Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity. Lesson 2 : A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch whenthey find an antique oil lamp.They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of youjust one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk.. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world..' Poof!She's gone. 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endlesssupply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life.' Poof! He's gone.'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I wantthose two back in the office after lunch.' Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say. Lesson 3 An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and donothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, afox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. Lesson 4 A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to thetop of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.''Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. It's full of nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enoughstrength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eatingsome more dung, he reached the second branch.... Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top ofthe tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there... Lesson 5A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the birdfroze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realizehow warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy... Apassing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. .. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung,and promptly dug him out and ate him. Moral of the story: (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.. (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut! THUS ENDS THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE Awards
Labob Posted January 9, 2011 Member ID: 42 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 50 Topic Count: 338 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 8389 Content Per Day: 1.46 Reputation: 6126 Achievement Points: 54468 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 13 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 22 Birthday: 01/30/1959 Device: Windows Posted January 9, 2011 Yes Yes well said sir Awards
Blackbart Posted January 9, 2011 Member ID: 51 Group: Fallen Members Followers: 51 Topic Count: 342 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 5974 Content Per Day: 1.04 Reputation: 3766 Achievement Points: 45818 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 27, 2021 Birthday: 06/26/1949 Posted January 9, 2011 Good points to ponder... Awards
Deranged Posted January 9, 2011 Member ID: 295 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 0 Topic Count: 50 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1535 Content Per Day: 0.27 Reputation: 0 Achievement Points: 8175 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/07/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Never Birthday: 01/01/1970 Posted January 9, 2011
Bama Posted January 10, 2011 Member ID: 19 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 101 Topic Count: 318 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 4445 Content Per Day: 0.78 Reputation: 2769 Achievement Points: 29415 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 7 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: September 3, 2024 Birthday: 02/29/1968 Device: Windows Posted January 10, 2011 LOL.. so true. Great job Wild, thanks for that post!!! Awards
TBB Posted January 10, 2011 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 290 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 20545 Content Per Day: 3.66 Reputation: 22535 Achievement Points: 148265 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 395 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 6 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Posted January 10, 2011 That can all be summed up if you remember a boss is like a diaper - full of shit and always on your ass. Awards
loaderXI Posted January 10, 2011 Member ID: 252 Group: +++ COD2 Head Admin Followers: 72 Topic Count: 396 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 6439 Content Per Day: 1.12 Reputation: 6582 Achievement Points: 54661 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 32 Joined: 09/05/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Monday at 02:08 AM Birthday: 03/22/1965 Device: Windows Posted January 10, 2011 Wow great find man that shit makes tooooo much sense lmao Awards
PimpedOutPete Posted January 10, 2011 Member ID: 174 Group: +++ COD2 Head Admin Followers: 130 Topic Count: 387 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 15027 Content Per Day: 2.62 Reputation: 8043 Achievement Points: 92206 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 59 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Yesterday at 06:59 AM Birthday: 04/23/1970 Device: Macintosh Posted January 10, 2011 Lol very nice wildthing... Awards
2_MANY_BEERS Posted January 10, 2011 Member ID: 96 Group: ** Registered Users Followers: 108 Topic Count: 1049 Topics Per Day: 0.18 Content Count: 8817 Content Per Day: 1.54 Reputation: 3309 Achievement Points: 62219 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 5 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 19 Birthday: 06/30/1954 Device: Windows Posted January 10, 2011 I'll try and remember that. LOL Good one.
Toothpick Posted January 10, 2011 Member ID: 1891 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 12 Topic Count: 59 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1092 Content Per Day: 0.20 Reputation: 4 Achievement Points: 6106 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/14/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 17, 2012 Birthday: 03/19/1985 Posted January 10, 2011 nice pov
NickTheGrip Posted January 11, 2011 Member ID: 177 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 16 Topic Count: 145 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 1669 Content Per Day: 0.29 Reputation: 281 Achievement Points: 10581 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: June 27, 2023 Birthday: 05/08/1961 Posted January 11, 2011 Glad to see that most of the admins read this - j/k Awards
PigDog Posted January 11, 2011 Member ID: 222 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 88 Topic Count: 331 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 3847 Content Per Day: 0.67 Reputation: 1628 Achievement Points: 25635 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/04/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 1 Birthday: 02/05/1968 Device: Windows Posted January 11, 2011 lmao, so true.... Awards
Recommended Posts