wildthing Posted January 9, 2011 Member ID: 36 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 124 Topic Count: 235 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 3845 Content Per Day: 0.72 Reputation: 2247 Achievement Points: 34608 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 17 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Friday at 03:40 AM Birthday: 11/22/1968 Device: Windows Share Posted January 9, 2011 5 Minute Management Course Lesson 1 : A priest offered a Nun a lift... She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.....The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up herleg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. Itsaid, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.' Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity. Lesson 2 : A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch whenthey find an antique oil lamp.They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of youjust one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk.. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world..' Poof!She's gone. 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endlesssupply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life.' Poof! He's gone.'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I wantthose two back in the office after lunch.' Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say. Lesson 3 An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and donothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, afox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. Lesson 4 A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to thetop of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.''Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. It's full of nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enoughstrength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eatingsome more dung, he reached the second branch.... Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top ofthe tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there... Lesson 5A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the birdfroze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realizehow warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy... Apassing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. .. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung,and promptly dug him out and ate him. Moral of the story: (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.. (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut! THUS ENDS THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Labob Posted January 9, 2011 Member ID: 42 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 50 Topic Count: 338 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 8269 Content Per Day: 1.54 Reputation: 5983 Achievement Points: 53645 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 12 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 58 minutes ago Birthday: 01/30/1959 Device: Android Share Posted January 9, 2011 Yes Yes well said sir Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Blackbart Posted January 9, 2011 Member ID: 51 Group: Fallen Members Followers: 51 Topic Count: 342 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 5974 Content Per Day: 1.11 Reputation: 3766 Achievement Points: 45818 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 27, 2021 Birthday: 06/26/1949 Share Posted January 9, 2011 Good points to ponder... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Deranged Posted January 9, 2011 Member ID: 295 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 0 Topic Count: 50 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1535 Content Per Day: 0.29 Reputation: 0 Achievement Points: 8175 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/07/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Never Birthday: 01/01/1970 Share Posted January 9, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bama Posted January 10, 2011 Member ID: 19 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 101 Topic Count: 318 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 4444 Content Per Day: 0.83 Reputation: 2763 Achievement Points: 29399 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 7 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: March 11 Birthday: 02/29/1968 Device: iPhone Share Posted January 10, 2011 LOL.. so true. Great job Wild, thanks for that post!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
TBB Posted January 10, 2011 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 266 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18160 Content Per Day: 3.47 Reputation: 20195 Achievement Points: 133094 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 266 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 22 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted January 10, 2011 That can all be summed up if you remember a boss is like a diaper - full of shit and always on your ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
loaderXI Posted January 10, 2011 Member ID: 252 Group: +++ COD2 Head Admin Followers: 71 Topic Count: 392 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 6418 Content Per Day: 1.20 Reputation: 6495 Achievement Points: 54343 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 30 Joined: 09/05/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Monday at 06:32 PM Birthday: 03/22/1965 Device: Windows Share Posted January 10, 2011 Wow great find man that shit makes tooooo much sense lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
PimpedOutPete Posted January 10, 2011 Member ID: 174 Group: +++ COD2 Head Admin Followers: 129 Topic Count: 387 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 14885 Content Per Day: 2.78 Reputation: 7825 Achievement Points: 91081 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 52 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 12 hours ago Birthday: 04/23/1970 Device: Macintosh Share Posted January 10, 2011 Lol very nice wildthing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
2_MANY_BEERS Posted January 10, 2011 Member ID: 96 Group: ** Registered Users Followers: 107 Topic Count: 1048 Topics Per Day: 0.20 Content Count: 8812 Content Per Day: 1.64 Reputation: 3298 Achievement Points: 62176 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 5 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Monday at 04:59 PM Birthday: 06/30/1954 Device: Windows Share Posted January 10, 2011 I'll try and remember that. LOL Good one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toothpick Posted January 10, 2011 Member ID: 1891 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 12 Topic Count: 59 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1092 Content Per Day: 0.22 Reputation: 4 Achievement Points: 6106 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/14/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 17, 2012 Birthday: 03/19/1985 Share Posted January 10, 2011 nice pov Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickTheGrip Posted January 11, 2011 Member ID: 177 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 16 Topic Count: 145 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 1669 Content Per Day: 0.31 Reputation: 281 Achievement Points: 10581 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: June 27, 2023 Birthday: 05/08/1961 Device: iPhone Share Posted January 11, 2011 Glad to see that most of the admins read this - j/k Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
PigDog Posted January 11, 2011 Member ID: 222 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 88 Topic Count: 331 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 3846 Content Per Day: 0.72 Reputation: 1626 Achievement Points: 25628 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/04/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: February 24 Birthday: 02/05/1968 Device: Windows Share Posted January 11, 2011 lmao, so true.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
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