widowmaker Posted December 2, 2011 Member ID: 632 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 47 Topic Count: 197 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 1762 Content Per Day: 0.33 Reputation: 1440 Achievement Points: 18213 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 10 Joined: 10/24/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 12, 2020 Birthday: 07/30/1977 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I was at WalMart buying a bag of Purina dog chow for my dog , in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog chow, RIGHT ??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in inten.........sive care, with tubes everywhere and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer. I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say........................This is ruff....lol still laughing ............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
hxtr Posted December 2, 2011 Member ID: 220 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 147 Topic Count: 595 Topics Per Day: 0.11 Content Count: 16950 Content Per Day: 3.17 Reputation: 13538 Achievement Points: 129713 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 120 Joined: 09/04/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 26, 2023 Birthday: 04/05/1970 Device: Windows Share Posted December 2, 2011 that shits funny.... would love to had been there. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RD Posted December 2, 2011 Member ID: 2520 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 5 Topic Count: 50 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 627 Content Per Day: 0.13 Reputation: 48 Achievement Points: 3748 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/23/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 16, 2018 Birthday: 08/18/1953 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Walmart provides plenty of entertainment. I myself have enjoyed the fashion shows when traveling about the country back in the day. Some people dont own a fikin mirror I swear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBB Posted December 2, 2011 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 265 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18139 Content Per Day: 3.47 Reputation: 20155 Achievement Points: 132929 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 263 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 11 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted December 2, 2011 Fantastic - couldn't have done better - lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
CobraBites Posted December 2, 2011 Member ID: 2313 Group: Fallen Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 330 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 4924 Content Per Day: 1.03 Reputation: 3034 Achievement Points: 33897 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 4 Joined: 03/19/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: August 2, 2017 Birthday: 05/26/1974 Share Posted December 2, 2011 way too funny sounds something i d do lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter1948 Posted December 2, 2011 Member ID: 1850 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 98 Topic Count: 328 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 8620 Content Per Day: 1.74 Reputation: 4222 Achievement Points: 55994 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 5 Joined: 09/29/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: November 29, 2023 Birthday: 06/19/1948 Device: Windows Share Posted December 2, 2011 Good 1 LMAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Half-A-100 Posted December 2, 2011 Member ID: 600 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 15 Topic Count: 16 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 125 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 14 Achievement Points: 840 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/20/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: February 6 Birthday: 01/25/1958 Device: Windows Share Posted December 2, 2011 Do all idiots have the tendency to jump on opportunities such as this one. lol I'm glad I'm not only one who will be smelling like smoke when I'm in heaven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Joe Canadian Posted December 2, 2011 Member ID: 822 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 87 Topic Count: 317 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 5477 Content Per Day: 1.04 Reputation: 5025 Achievement Points: 42632 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 20 Joined: 12/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 25, 2023 Birthday: 03/01/1967 Device: Windows Share Posted December 2, 2011 Half-A-100 Do all idiots have the tendency to jump on opportunities such as this one. lol I'm glad I'm not only one who will be smelling like smoke when I'm in heaven. point, I think that we -all idiots- must have a lot of things in common. Being a member of this clan isn't just a coincidence. CheersJoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
BigPapaDean Posted December 2, 2011 Member ID: 1128 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 78 Topic Count: 1197 Topics Per Day: 0.23 Content Count: 6521 Content Per Day: 1.26 Reputation: 4407 Achievement Points: 63388 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 5 Joined: 02/13/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: Yesterday at 08:53 AM Birthday: 10/21/1954 Device: Windows Share Posted December 2, 2011 Are you an IDIOT? HELL YEAH!!!!! LMFAO!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
unionjackk Posted December 2, 2011 Member ID: 2383 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 8 Topic Count: 42 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 210 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 85 Achievement Points: 1562 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/10/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 25, 2012 Birthday: 01/25/1970 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Hell yeah that's priceless once when I was in Wal-mart and the greeter asked me if I found everything I was looking for I simply replied that no I came in here looking for the aisle with the cheap wine and hookers. The old guy was a true sport he simply smiled and said yeah he was looking for it to. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Posted December 2, 2011 Member ID: 46 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 104 Topic Count: 132 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 4316 Content Per Day: 0.81 Reputation: 2955 Achievement Points: 34774 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 11 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: September 18, 2021 Share Posted December 2, 2011 lol...... its not wal-mart that haunts him so bad, its taco bell...*hint--"he wears that outfit everyday" lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WiZiD Posted December 2, 2011 Member ID: 804 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 32 Topic Count: 446 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 3600 Content Per Day: 0.68 Reputation: 1053 Achievement Points: 24386 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 4 Joined: 11/28/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: September 7, 2020 Birthday: 04/25/1960 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Too funny. I hope you dont mind but I gonna use that. My trip to Wal Mart I brought my wife in her wheel chair to the service counter. When the lady ask me if she could help I said yes I would like to return her she dont work anymore. The expressions were priceless. When I use to bring my x-wife to yard sales I would introduce her if she opened her mouth by saying "yea this is my wife I brought her with just to keep from having to kiss her goodbye. The expressions were priceless....lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Angel Posted December 2, 2011 Member ID: 46 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 104 Topic Count: 132 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 4316 Content Per Day: 0.81 Reputation: 2955 Achievement Points: 34774 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 11 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: September 18, 2021 Share Posted December 2, 2011 lol mean but funny lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WiZiD Posted December 2, 2011 Member ID: 804 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 32 Topic Count: 446 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 3600 Content Per Day: 0.68 Reputation: 1053 Achievement Points: 24386 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 4 Joined: 11/28/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: September 7, 2020 Birthday: 04/25/1960 Share Posted December 2, 2011 its all out of love....really Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
owens Posted December 2, 2011 Member ID: 1920 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 6 Topic Count: 29 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 77 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 1 Achievement Points: 716 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/24/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: December 6, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owens Posted December 2, 2011 Member ID: 1920 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 6 Topic Count: 29 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 77 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 1 Achievement Points: 716 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/24/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: December 6, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Angel lol mean but funny lmao wow, thats one hot sig you have there lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kswift420 Posted December 3, 2011 Member ID: 1071 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 22 Topic Count: 30 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 879 Content Per Day: 0.17 Reputation: 261 Achievement Points: 5414 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/31/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: June 5, 2017 Birthday: 12/29/1974 Share Posted December 3, 2011 LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
widowmaker Posted December 3, 2011 Member ID: 632 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 47 Topic Count: 197 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 1762 Content Per Day: 0.33 Reputation: 1440 Achievement Points: 18213 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 10 Joined: 10/24/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 12, 2020 Birthday: 07/30/1977 Author Share Posted December 3, 2011 WiZiD Too funny. I hope you dont mind but I gonna use that. My trip to Wal Mart I brought my wife in her wheel chair to the service counter. When the lady ask me if she could help I said yes I would like to return her she dont work anymore. The expressions were priceless. When I use to bring my x-wife to yard sales I would introduce her if she opened her mouth by saying "yea this is my wife I brought her with just to keep from having to kiss her goodbye. The expressions were priceless....lol i don't mind. use it if you ever need it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
hxtr Posted December 3, 2011 Member ID: 220 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 147 Topic Count: 595 Topics Per Day: 0.11 Content Count: 16950 Content Per Day: 3.17 Reputation: 13538 Achievement Points: 129713 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 120 Joined: 09/04/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 26, 2023 Birthday: 04/05/1970 Device: Windows Share Posted December 3, 2011 WiZiD I said yes I would like to return her she dont work anymore. The expressions were priceless. That is so fucking wrong WIZ.................. hahahahahahhahahahahaha It's funny how much humor their is out there. People are funny as shit if provoked you can laugh all day. Improve is my favorite humor.......... off the top of your head per moment. I think they call that a mental disorder nowadays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Posted December 3, 2011 Member ID: 46 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 104 Topic Count: 132 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 4316 Content Per Day: 0.81 Reputation: 2955 Achievement Points: 34774 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 11 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: September 18, 2021 Share Posted December 3, 2011 lol its all good wizid, its funny as hell lol ** and thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
widowmaker Posted December 3, 2011 Member ID: 632 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 47 Topic Count: 197 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 1762 Content Per Day: 0.33 Reputation: 1440 Achievement Points: 18213 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 10 Joined: 10/24/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 12, 2020 Birthday: 07/30/1977 Author Share Posted December 3, 2011 hxtr WiZiD I said yes I would like to return her she dont work anymore. The expressions were priceless. That is so fucking wrong WIZ.................. hahahahahahhahahahahaha It's funny how much humor their is out there. People are funny as shit if provoked you can laugh all day. Improve is my favorite humor.......... off the top of your head per moment. I think they call that a mental disorder nowadays. it must be. they say i got a touch of that. i told them its all in the head. lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Noears711XI Posted December 3, 2011 Member ID: 238 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 189 Topic Count: 75 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2162 Content Per Day: 0.40 Reputation: 1940 Achievement Points: 19609 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/04/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 8, 2022 Birthday: 07/09/1957 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Widowmaker you are my hero that was funny LMAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
1lost1 Posted December 3, 2011 Member ID: 938 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 19 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 602 Content Per Day: 0.11 Reputation: 339 Achievement Points: 4774 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 12/28/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: March 31 Birthday: 08/28/1972 Device: Windows Share Posted December 3, 2011 As I sit here trying to work with tears of laughter.... fuck I wish i was that quick to come up with that LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Recommended Posts