Olive Posted August 22, 2012 Member ID: 69 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 50 Topic Count: 227 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 2660 Content Per Day: 0.49 Reputation: 4123 Achievement Points: 22969 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 19 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 9 hours ago Birthday: 05/07/1965 Device: Windows Share Posted August 22, 2012 The Marine Corps found they had too many officers and senior enlisted men. It was decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer or senior enlisted man who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. Those applying got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Sergeant Major who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my dick to my the back of my balls." It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Marine insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the Sergeant Major to drop 'em, which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the penis and began to work back. "Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?" The old Sergeant Major calmly replied, "Vietnam." Sykorsky, baldie, pancakes and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Sykorsky Posted August 22, 2012 Member ID: 3380 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 22 Topic Count: 63 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 376 Content Per Day: 0.08 Reputation: 171 Achievement Points: 3170 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/15/12 Status: Offline Last Seen: May 4, 2018 Birthday: 08/18/1965 Share Posted August 22, 2012 omfg!!! this one is awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
widowmaker Posted August 22, 2012 Member ID: 632 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 47 Topic Count: 197 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 1762 Content Per Day: 0.33 Reputation: 1440 Achievement Points: 18213 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 10 Joined: 10/24/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 12, 2020 Birthday: 07/30/1977 Share Posted August 22, 2012 lmao nice one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
JohnnyDos Posted August 22, 2012 Member ID: 77 Group: Fallen Members Followers: 111 Topic Count: 1018 Topics Per Day: 0.19 Content Count: 7527 Content Per Day: 1.40 Reputation: 9175 Achievement Points: 69486 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 47 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 8, 2020 Share Posted August 22, 2012 Good one Olive.Fantastic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBB Posted August 22, 2012 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 271 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18299 Content Per Day: 3.48 Reputation: 20353 Achievement Points: 134058 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 273 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 1 hour ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted August 22, 2012 lmao - thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
pancakes Posted August 22, 2012 Member ID: 2395 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 19 Topic Count: 40 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 800 Content Per Day: 0.17 Reputation: 217 Achievement Points: 5471 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/13/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 10 Birthday: 07/22/1994 Device: Windows Share Posted August 22, 2012 LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Hunter1948 Posted August 22, 2012 Member ID: 1850 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 98 Topic Count: 328 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 8620 Content Per Day: 1.72 Reputation: 4222 Achievement Points: 55994 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 5 Joined: 09/29/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: November 29, 2023 Birthday: 06/19/1948 Device: Windows Share Posted August 22, 2012 Yes heard that one before and it's funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
KenMan Posted August 22, 2012 Member ID: 410 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 4 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 2033 Content Per Day: 0.38 Reputation: 428 Achievement Points: 10669 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/16/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: August 15, 2020 Birthday: 12/04/1948 Share Posted August 22, 2012 lol, good one Olive, glad I didn't leave mine over there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
BeerGoat Posted August 22, 2012 Member ID: 2923 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 15 Topic Count: 24 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1242 Content Per Day: 0.27 Reputation: 294 Achievement Points: 8349 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/24/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: Yesterday at 05:27 PM Birthday: 03/20/1976 Device: Windows Share Posted August 22, 2012 That sounds like and old jar head to me. I had the joy of serving with more than a few. Mean as hell but more fair than I have ever seen. Semper Fi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
baldie Posted August 24, 2012 Member ID: 607 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 75 Topic Count: 244 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 3347 Content Per Day: 0.63 Reputation: 2645 Achievement Points: 33854 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 10 Joined: 10/21/09 Status: Online Last Seen: 5 minutes ago Birthday: 09/16/1966 Device: Windows Share Posted August 24, 2012 Rolf nice one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
baldie Posted August 24, 2012 Member ID: 607 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 75 Topic Count: 244 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 3347 Content Per Day: 0.63 Reputation: 2645 Achievement Points: 33854 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 10 Joined: 10/21/09 Status: Online Last Seen: 5 minutes ago Birthday: 09/16/1966 Device: Windows Share Posted August 24, 2012 Here is one for you... .A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went through the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. "So, did you jump?" the father asked. "Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!" "Is that when you jumped?" asked the father. "Hmm, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door." "Did you jump then?" asked the father. "I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my ass." "So, did you jump?" "Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed on to the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, 'Boy, are you gonna jump or not?' I said, 'No, sir. I'm too scared.' So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long and as big around as a baseball bat! He said, 'Boy, either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this baby up where the sun doesn't shine.'" "So, did you jump?" asked the father. "Well, a little, at first." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
LtLaszlo Posted August 24, 2012 Member ID: 151 Group: ++ COD2 Admin Followers: 62 Topic Count: 186 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 9157 Content Per Day: 1.70 Reputation: 24336 Achievement Points: 94331 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 316 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Yesterday at 04:21 PM Birthday: 05/17/1959 Device: Windows Share Posted August 24, 2012 LOL!! Two good ones!! Nice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Melv69 Posted August 25, 2012 Member ID: 3668 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 5 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 1 Achievement Points: 46 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/22/12 Status: Offline Last Seen: December 5, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2012 the old ones are still the best...lol nice 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinkie 13 Posted August 26, 2012 Member ID: 3003 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 26 Topic Count: 36 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 421 Content Per Day: 0.09 Reputation: 351 Achievement Points: 3611 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/21/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: 23 hours ago Birthday: 03/17/1979 Device: Windows Share Posted August 26, 2012 ha ha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Recommended Posts