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$13000 to fix - glad for insurance

Figures you're from Kentucky - you're supposed to use a black tarp so it absorbs the heat and decomposes the body faster - boy what an >IDIOT<

Nothing like being trapped in your own personal hell bed lol https://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/a-company-came-up-with-an-earthquake-safe-bed-and-its-the-stuff-of-nightmares/86495385/

One evening, after the honeymoon, Dick was working on his Harley in the garage. His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally said, “Honey, I’ve just been thinking, now that we’re married, maybe it’s time you quit spending so much of your time out here in your garage. You probably should consider selling your Harley and all that welding equipment; they take up so much of your time. And that gun collection and fishing gear, they just take up so much space. And you know the boat is such an ongoing expense; and you hardly use it. I also think you should lose all those stupid model airplanes and your home brewing equipment...”And what’s the use of that vintage hot rod? Dick got a horrified look on his face. She noticed and said, “Darling, what’s wrong?” He replied, “You were starting to sound like my ex-wife.” “Ex-wife!?” she shouted, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!” Dick replied, “I wasn’t...”

Struthers was assigned to show an important stockholder around the rubber goods factory. The woman nodded approvingly when shown the giant machine which spit out an endless stream of rubber nipples. “One of our steady sellers, a lot of babies being born these days,” Struthers explained. Not much later the stockholder inquired as to the functions of another huge machine spitting out little rubber discs. “Condoms,” Struthers informed her. “Big sellers, too.” “Understandably,” she commented. “But why’s that needle coming down and punching a little hole in every other one?” “Well,” he whispered conspiratorially, “we can’t let the nipple business go downhill, now can we?”

Look in the mirror - it's the only one you got (jk)

A day at the zoo A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps. He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt. As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla. Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy. He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and two feet he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny. He suggested: “Now maybe pucker your lips and wiggle your bottom, see what that does.” - She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. The husband then suggested she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She did ... and the gorilla was about to tear the bars down. “Now ... show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him,” he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy and he started doing flips. The husband smiled sweetly at his wife as he opened the cage door and shoved her in. “Now Tell him you have a headache...”

A king was going of to the Crusades, and had his queen fitted with a special chastity belt, with a built-in guillotine. When he returned, he lined his knights up and had them all drop their drawers. All of the knights showed the signs of their indiscretion, except for one. The king went up to the knight and said, “Noble knight, you of all my knights has been loyal to me in my absence. Name your reward, and it is yours.” The knight said, “Rrrr, rrr, rrr.”

What a night it was, I look forward to it every year, the annual get together of the SDS (Small Dick Society), affiliated with the WOC (USA) (Weiner Owners Club) and the DD (Australia) Dingo Donglers. Sad to see the Donglers no longer have a true society since Sheila the tranny got in the family way, never ever found the culprit. It was the proudest moment of my life when I was erected (see footnote) as President of the society for outstanding performance. Something swelled inside me when the secretary announced ‘Would all members please be upstanding for our President’, you could hear the zips straining outside. It was a great turn out, It’s always puzzled me why we didn’t attract more lady members, although we have the two girls from Thailand. We’d been pestered for months by telephone by some lady who used to say ‘Are you in yet? ‘, chuckle and put the phone down, despite assurances that we were, strange? We welcomed our guest speaker from Canada ‘Wayne’, he is interested in forming a Canadian branch and had flown over to see what was required. He adequately fits the criteria to join (quick shuftie in mens toilets) indeed he over exceeds it, some fellow members were jealous. Strangely Wayne, from St. Johns New Brunswick wished to go incognito under his normal name @WeednFeed, no problems Wayne we will respect your wishes. We rolled around at his tales of how he used to attract women by stuffing his home grown gherkins down his pants before a dance, oh how we laughed at his trickery. He described the additional problems of a cold climate and how it was better to squat than stand at the toilet, we’ve all done that Wayne (St John’s, New Brunswick, Canada) I was embarrassed at winning the top prize in the raffle, a gold plated magnifying glass, and protested it must have been a ‘fiddle’. I was assured this was not the case and they had used the dealer from a well known Blackjack site for honest and fair dealings. We all happily trooped off home, ready for the next exciting meeting, what more is there in life??? Apologies for the occasional ‘r’ instead of ‘l’, due to a sticky keyboard.

There are currently no licensed mRNA vaccines in the United States. Pfizer's mRNA vaccine has received emergency authorization, but has not completed FDA approval. Moderna's vaccine is the very first vaccine they have put out. Hard pass for me..... I'll take my 99.7% chances with COVID for now.

You wish - do have a magnifying glass though

Picture made me cold - put on my long Ann's - boy she keeps me warm!!

XtremeIdiots would like to wish all members celebrating their birthday today a happy birthday. TedsofBeverlyHills (63)AcidFly (56)DAMAGEPLAN (49)

lol

Another good one

But I hate him ????

As it was this morning at 730 AM EST A F...freezing -17C /0F and the lake finally couldnt resist and it froze this night. Time for a HOT coffee.

What you paid $13,000 to put I hole in your roof? I must say the bottom picture looks nicer to me! Congratulations, glad you had the insurance.

sod the coffe no need to chill the beer in the fridge Result!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's a friend ?

Yup - you got a problem wid dat????

LMAO!

I have dedicated it to him from you @WeednFeed