WiZiD Posted September 18, 2011 Member ID: 804 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 32 Topic Count: 446 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 3600 Content Per Day: 0.63 Reputation: 1053 Achievement Points: 24386 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 4 Joined: 11/28/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: June 3 Birthday: 04/25/1960 Device: Windows Posted September 18, 2011 nowplease don't think i'm calling anybody old.....this just sounds like a typicalday for me......... It could happen to any of us.. This is so funny;I hope you enjoy it. ?$5.37!? That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount." I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen? I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me? I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile. Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler? "Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind! "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!" I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. Then, a few other objects came into focus: The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard. Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found. I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits. Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized. She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time." All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 mph zone. Yessss, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast. As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey. The good news was I had successfully found my way home. P.S. Save the earth...... It's the only planet with chocolate!!!!! ? Awards
RD Posted September 18, 2011 Member ID: 2520 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 5 Topic Count: 50 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 627 Content Per Day: 0.12 Reputation: 48 Achievement Points: 3748 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/23/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 16, 2018 Birthday: 08/18/1953 Posted September 18, 2011 Yes....it happens just like you said. Nice one
Dark Asylumn Posted September 18, 2011 Member ID: 809 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 41 Topic Count: 252 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 2840 Content Per Day: 0.50 Reputation: 1032 Achievement Points: 20424 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 11/29/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 58 minutes ago Birthday: 06/25/1979 Device: Windows Posted September 18, 2011 lmao to freakin funny Awards
USAPLISKEN Posted September 18, 2011 Member ID: 1634 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 26 Topic Count: 210 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 1634 Content Per Day: 0.30 Reputation: 370 Achievement Points: 12427 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/03/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: June 28, 2016 Birthday: 04/19/1949 Posted September 18, 2011 NICE POST LOL
Noears711XI Posted September 18, 2011 Member ID: 238 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 189 Topic Count: 75 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2162 Content Per Day: 0.38 Reputation: 1940 Achievement Points: 19609 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/04/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 8, 2022 Birthday: 07/09/1957 Posted September 18, 2011 Great Post we are getting there. Awards
JohnnyDos Posted September 18, 2011 Member ID: 77 Group: Fallen Members Followers: 111 Topic Count: 1018 Topics Per Day: 0.18 Content Count: 7527 Content Per Day: 1.30 Reputation: 9175 Achievement Points: 69486 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 47 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 8, 2020 Posted September 18, 2011 WiZiD I saw you in person you barely look 40 - 45.I don't even remember seeing a grey hair on you.i'm not joking either.
TheLastColdBeer Posted September 18, 2011 Member ID: 489 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 52 Topic Count: 553 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 4745 Content Per Day: 0.83 Reputation: 6058 Achievement Points: 42053 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 18 Joined: 09/22/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: December 23, 2024 Birthday: 01/09/1963 Device: Android Posted September 18, 2011 Yeah, but did you enjoy the burrito? My aunt is a brilliant lady, even at 80 years old. She told us the other night she got out of bed to use the restroom. Went in, flushed the stool, and got back in bed. It then dawned on her she hadn't done anything else in there, still had to pee. Ohhh, was she mad at herself....lol! While she was telling my wife & I this, she & my uncle were absolutely destroying us at a game of euchre. Just remember, today is as good as it gets.....all downhill from here. Awards
TBB Posted September 18, 2011 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 290 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 21007 Content Per Day: 3.72 Reputation: 22793 Achievement Points: 150944 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 407 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 16 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Posted September 18, 2011 I'm sorry - could you repeat that. Awards
Labob Posted September 18, 2011 Member ID: 42 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 50 Topic Count: 338 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 8389 Content Per Day: 1.45 Reputation: 6126 Achievement Points: 54469 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 13 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Yesterday at 01:32 AM Birthday: 01/30/1959 Device: Windows Posted September 18, 2011 Hey the world known as the planet Labob is made outa chocalate and all my mountains are breast large and small. And the lakes are made outa fresh coors light because german beer makes it too hard to do the breast stroke. And all the valleys are well lets just say muff muff oh and the valleys in the fall have such a vasritey of colours sooooo sweet to taste I mean see. Awards
BUDMAN Posted September 18, 2011 Member ID: 800 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 152 Topic Count: 139 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7116 Content Per Day: 1.25 Reputation: 4656 Achievement Points: 60593 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 6 Joined: 11/27/09 Status: Online Last Seen: 10 minutes ago Birthday: 05/29/1957 Device: Windows Posted September 18, 2011 I have been old for days........... Awards
Blackbart Posted September 19, 2011 Member ID: 51 Group: Fallen Members Followers: 51 Topic Count: 342 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 5974 Content Per Day: 1.04 Reputation: 3766 Achievement Points: 45818 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 27, 2021 Birthday: 06/26/1949 Posted September 19, 2011 Damn it I was going to post a reply but I have forgotten what the post was about... Edited for spelling I think... Awards
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