RobMc Posted March 8, 2023 Member ID: 25355 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 31 Topic Count: 257 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 5785 Content Per Day: 2.15 Reputation: 9114 Achievement Points: 63248 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 132 Joined: 12/14/16 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 10 Birthday: 01/05/1954 Device: Windows Share Posted March 8, 2023 As I’m getting on a bit I am beginning to forget spellings and some maths formula (needed to calculate my morning tablets), Timmah is constantly admonishing me about it. So having stopped in my public toilets last week, to see if he was posing in front of the mirror, a notice scrawled on the wall caught my eye. ‘Correction lessons given’, Bingo, just what the doctor ordered I thought, that should get me back on track. So once I got home I excitedly got on the ‘land line’ to book my first lesson, the lady that answered had a very gruff voice and was very offhand, but hey ho the strictest teachers at school were generally the best. I fondly remembered old Raphie Lowe and the way he used his cricket bat on your skull to the beat of the lesson, I’ve never forgotten my two times table, but hated cricket thereafter, mind you I remembered googlies, as mine were black and blue. The neighbourhood her rooms were in was not the best, and some very strange looking women lurked behind twitching curtains, although to be fair I’m still a ‘looker’. I smiled when I pressed the doorbell and AC/DC’s Highway to Hell rang out, something we had in common I thought, I’ve got a doorbell too. ‘ENTER’ said this voice and I made my way down a dark corridor to a dim light at the end, must be an exam on I thought – but I was wrong. Pushing open the door this figure towered over me, 6 foot 3 inches tall, 350 lbs, stilettos and fishnets, and stuffed into the tightest leather suit you’ve seen. ‘OK, cash only she said, what’s your choice, whip, cane, hand spanking, nappies or the rack?’, what kind of teacher was this and where had she graduated from?, I asked myself, times had certainly moved on with modern teaching methods. ‘Errr’ I stuttered, ‘I would like to improve my scrabble scores and check my change at the over 60’s’, this left her lost for words, but she quickly recovered with a right hook Tyson would have been proud of. As I picked myself up she snarled ‘that’s only starters, see what I have for desserts’, she looked crestfallen when I informed her I was a diabetic and would skip desserts. ‘Are you sure you’re at the right place’ she asked? I was beginning to have doubts myself, but plodded on. ‘Shall we use the Oxford dictionary’ I suggested, turning round she pulled a large book off the shelf and whacked me with the New Cambridge first edition, I lost consciousness. When I came round I was lying on a bed naked, chained to the bedpost, ‘let’s get a move on’ she said, ‘I’ve an MP and two Judges booked in this afternoon’. ‘I must say madam I didn’t like the spelling lesson but you appear to have an even stranger way of teaching Maths’. ‘What the hell are you talking about’ she said ‘Spelling and Maths?’ I specialise in pain – giving it, now lie still’ I should be out of hospital some time next week jointz, TheLastColdBeer, Timmah! and 3 others 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobMc Posted March 8, 2023 Member ID: 25355 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 31 Topic Count: 257 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 5785 Content Per Day: 2.15 Reputation: 9114 Achievement Points: 63248 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 132 Joined: 12/14/16 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 10 Birthday: 01/05/1954 Device: Windows Author Share Posted March 8, 2023 British humour TBB, they'll understand it, here's something a bit less subtle just for you FU TheLastColdBeer, BUDMAN and jointz 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBB Posted March 8, 2023 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 265 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18139 Content Per Day: 3.47 Reputation: 20155 Achievement Points: 132929 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 263 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 4 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted March 8, 2023 I've told you 1000 times not to smoke that stuff that @Timmah! sends you - he puts too much spice in it TheLastColdBeer, jointz, loaderXI and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
TBB Posted March 8, 2023 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 265 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18139 Content Per Day: 3.47 Reputation: 20155 Achievement Points: 132929 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 263 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 4 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted March 8, 2023 Just now, RobMc said: British humour TBB, they'll understand it, here's something a bit less subtle just for you FU I was saving these for @BUDMAN but you get them first loaderXI, Ghostlupus, baldie and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
TBB Posted March 8, 2023 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 265 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18139 Content Per Day: 3.47 Reputation: 20155 Achievement Points: 132929 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 263 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 4 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted March 8, 2023 (edited) Just in case you're not getting the idea Edited March 8, 2023 by TBB RobMc, baldie, TheLastColdBeer and 2 others 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
jointz Posted March 8, 2023 Member ID: 4476 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 19 Topic Count: 28 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1462 Content Per Day: 0.35 Reputation: 4233 Achievement Points: 18124 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 62 Joined: 12/24/12 Status: Offline Last Seen: 3 hours ago Birthday: 03/31/1982 Device: Android Share Posted March 8, 2023 Good fu collection... I stole a few Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
TBB Posted March 8, 2023 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 265 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18139 Content Per Day: 3.47 Reputation: 20155 Achievement Points: 132929 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 263 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 4 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted March 8, 2023 57 minutes ago, jointz said: Good fu collection... I stole a few Just for you - and @BUDMAN and the bloody lime @RobMc imageproxy.php.jfif RobMc and jointz 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
loaderXI Posted March 8, 2023 Member ID: 252 Group: +++ COD2 Head Admin Followers: 71 Topic Count: 392 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 6417 Content Per Day: 1.20 Reputation: 6494 Achievement Points: 54337 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 30 Joined: 09/05/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 10 hours ago Birthday: 03/22/1965 Device: Windows Share Posted March 8, 2023 I say a I say a dat boy done flipped is loco lidiono...Made me kind a wonder what cute and ugly have in common...Turns out it is U RobMc 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
GhostfaceJim Posted March 9, 2023 Member ID: 2314 Group: ++ Conan Exiles Admin Followers: 32 Topic Count: 112 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 20717 Content Per Day: 4.33 Reputation: 5314 Achievement Points: 113891 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 50 Joined: 03/19/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: 14 hours ago Birthday: 04/22/1975 Device: Windows Share Posted March 9, 2023 Oinks for points! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Sammy Posted March 10, 2023 Member ID: 3036 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 31 Topic Count: 219 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 9419 Content Per Day: 2.08 Reputation: 7515 Achievement Points: 62539 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 21 Joined: 11/29/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: December 30, 2023 Birthday: 04/26/2008 Device: Windows Share Posted March 10, 2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
GhostfaceJim Posted March 11, 2023 Member ID: 2314 Group: ++ Conan Exiles Admin Followers: 32 Topic Count: 112 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 20717 Content Per Day: 4.33 Reputation: 5314 Achievement Points: 113891 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 50 Joined: 03/19/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: 14 hours ago Birthday: 04/22/1975 Device: Windows Share Posted March 11, 2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Ghostlupus Posted March 12, 2023 Member ID: 25598 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 15 Topic Count: 20 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 343 Content Per Day: 0.13 Reputation: 357 Achievement Points: 2832 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/25/17 Status: Offline Last Seen: 19 hours ago Birthday: 09/22/1956 Device: Windows Share Posted March 12, 2023 OMG, That's a comprehensive FU collection Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
RobMc Posted March 12, 2023 Member ID: 25355 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 31 Topic Count: 257 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 5785 Content Per Day: 2.15 Reputation: 9114 Achievement Points: 63248 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 132 Joined: 12/14/16 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 10 Birthday: 01/05/1954 Device: Windows Author Share Posted March 12, 2023 15 minutes ago, Ghostlupus said: OMG, That's a comprehensive FU collection Just to round it off Ghostie FU Ghostlupus 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GhostfaceJim Posted March 13, 2023 Member ID: 2314 Group: ++ Conan Exiles Admin Followers: 32 Topic Count: 112 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 20717 Content Per Day: 4.33 Reputation: 5314 Achievement Points: 113891 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 50 Joined: 03/19/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: 14 hours ago Birthday: 04/22/1975 Device: Windows Share Posted March 13, 2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
GhostfaceJim Posted March 13, 2023 Member ID: 2314 Group: ++ Conan Exiles Admin Followers: 32 Topic Count: 112 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 20717 Content Per Day: 4.33 Reputation: 5314 Achievement Points: 113891 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 50 Joined: 03/19/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: 14 hours ago Birthday: 04/22/1975 Device: Windows Share Posted March 13, 2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Recommended Posts