Be offended snowflakes love Rob

[RobMc]

*Something here to offend everyone - in every sense...*

 

Now on sale at IKEA - beds for lesbians: no nuts or screwing involved, it's all tongue and groove.

 

Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

 

I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.

 

The lead actor in the local pantomime production of Aladdin was anally raped by the gay genie on stage last night - to be fair the audience did try to warn him.

 

Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min (charges may vary)

 

Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?" She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook".

 

Just booked a table for Valentine's Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though - she's crap at snooker.

 

Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new Taser!

 

If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham then delete it. It's Spam.

 

They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 6 months is going to shift this beer belly.

 

When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateaux...

[TBB]

It had been snowing all night …………..

8:00 am I made a snowman.

8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

8:22 The transgender ma..wom...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.

8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.

8:42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 TV news crew from the ABC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services.

9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the world in which we live today and it is going to get much worse

[BlackRose]

you guys need your own room!!hahahahah

[Sammy]

Your neighborhood conservative christian family, that previously tried to ban Harry Potter books, complained that your snow woman was promoting witchcraft and must be melted. Er... removed.

Another neighbor down the street has a retained an attorney and sent you a cease and desist letter claiming he invented snowmen and demand yours be taken down. Plus 10 million in damages.

A religious family in the next town over demand that a manger display be placed next to your snowmen for equal representation.

The police come to arrest your stark naked snow man and snow woman for indecent exposure.

Your local clergyman wants to know if they cohabitate and not married. Not that there is anything illegal about it of course.

The city arrives and demands to see if you have a permit for your snowman. If not, it will be red tagged and no further work can be done on it.

[MikeB]

On 4/4/2023 at 2:17 PM, TBB said:

It had been snowing all night …………..

8:00 am I made a snowman.

8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

8:22 The transgender ma..wom...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.

8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.

8:42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 TV news crew from the ABC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services.

9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the world in which we live today and it is going to get much worse

 

Get the hell out of the big cities with their woke agenda !!!!  Glad in our area people are not "Woke" assholes.  We have always followed the "Golden Rule" attitude.  

[RobMc]

1 hour ago, MikeB said:

 

Get the hell out of the big cities with their woke agenda !!!!  Glad in our area people are not "Woke" assholes.  We have always followed the "Golden Rule" attitude.  

What fascinates me Mike is just how many are there, and how despite being a minority they rule over us at times? How the hell did we (or worse will we) fight wars? these people must have been around then too surely? The one thing they all do in every country is hate that country and it's history, blaming it or their ancestors for not having modern principles. Yesterday near me they blocked off the meat aisle in a famous food store (M&S) by sitting on the floor, wish I'd been there to kick a few. In fact we have so many woke organisations now it is difficult to keep track of them all, but they all have one thing in common. The people in them are generally students or rich ex students, most haven't yet worked or do what I call 'made up jobs'. Judging by their interviews (many) on tv I have yet to see anyone who would qualify as normal, i.e. having a real job to pay for food & family. But these type of people now proliferate everywhere, in positions they are not qualified to hold, nor intelligent enough to run correctly, I can give many examples.

As The Last Cold Beer pointed out we've lost it, exactly the same as other leading civilisations, we approach the final days, Nero fiddles whilst Rome burns. Perhaps it does take a war to get things straight again, but we are in a parlous position compared to the last one, do not assume we will win, Hollywood ends at Hollywood.

 

Anyway don't worry Mike, when I'm on my way I'll wear my best frock and brush my teeth, right side please (and wear pyjamas)

[Majbasil]

omg what a bunch of xtreme idiots... 

[Sammy]

As opposed to the agendas in areas outside big cities. Trading one agenda for another agenda isn’t particularly appealing.

All these leftie goals and views, political social or otherwise,  all lead to ‘woke’. As the right likes to put it. All these rightie goals and views, also political social or otherwise, point to… what? As the left would like to put it?

Woke woke woke. It’s all I hear from the right and it got old and boring long ago. What’s the lefts word that they won’t shut up from saying?

[RobMc]

5 minutes ago, Sammy said:

What’s the lefts word that they won’t shut up from saying?

'EXTREME right wing', they use the phrase in the UK for anyone opposing their views, from centre left to actual extreme right, honestly there's only that phrase used by the left press, as though every ordinary person was a fascist.

 

 

[Sammy]

Doesn’t have the same ring as ‘woke’. Which interestingly enough was a left wing word before it was appropriated and altered by the right. I guess the left tries to use fascist but it doesn’t have the same jingoism.
 

Then again, the right does the same thing. Extreme left wing, or even rino for republicans that don’t toe the line. So what’s good for the goose…

[TBB]

On 4/6/2023 at 3:24 PM, BlackRose said:

you guys need your own room!!hahahahah

You have one available???? 

[BlackRose]

Maybe....

[RobMc]

34 minutes ago, BlackRose said:

Maybe....

Teaser

[TBB]

3 hours ago, BlackRose said:

Maybe....

OK OK - I'll bring the pizza!!!!