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A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him. "Hello", he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded, "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.." "Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?" "Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!" "How do you do" he replies "I'm Tonto, Tonto Papadopoulos, "

Have you missed me?? don't lie of course you haven't, but ol Rob's still alive and kicking (just), over the three score and ten with enough things wrong to fill a book. Haven't played with anyone since I left, just myself (apparently good for the prostate), and have given up gaming altogether, I was rubbish anyway, even Rugger could beat me. Came back to post a joke the old timers will love, so hope you all enjoy it. Just employed a new eastern European cleaner, took her 12 hours to clean the house, I think she was a Slovac. I'm almost a full time babysitter for my two grandsons now, best job I've ever had, little fckers are cleverer than me? So hope you're all well and healthy, and to all the girls I converted to the Viking religion so when I arrive in Valhalla all you young virgins will be waiting for me - oh hold on? FU Rob

New rotation maps are map mp_1078brecourt map mp_78bathroom map mp_78compound map mp_78stalingrad map mp_82ab_panzerwerk map mp_agx_depot2 map mp_ambush map mp_bridge map mp_cw_dawnville map mp_desert_storm map mp_duong map mp_v2 map mp_maquina_viet map mp_mohdm7 map mp_railyrd map mp_sweat_blood map mp_toujane_rmk map mp_turm map mp_kokoda map mp_v2bunker map mp_vm_caen

New rotation maps are map mp_78bunker map mp_78rocket map mp_africorp_rmk map mp_ambush map mp_beach_redeaux map mp_bessie map mp_castle map mp_cw_bocage map mp_dumont map mp_gtown44 map mp_hunt_winter map mp_kiev map mp_makin map mp_marsh map mp_nightmare map mp_outskirts map mp_ratskitchen map mp_shrine map mp_wfoxhole

Now don't you make me want to leave early young lady

Nice to see you back here. It was very quiet here without you spamming the forums

Thank-you skuzapo.

Thanks Key, here's a one for you and Dot I was walking through the woods the other day, when i came upon a fox and three little cubs in a suitcase..........so i phoned the Animal help line and told the lady, she said "Oh ok, are they moving?" I said "Ah? that would account for the suitcase?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Sleep well Dot

Rob your like a wif of fresh air! Happy to see your still on the right side of the grass. Hope to hear from you more often on the XI site. We need a little Rob Mac humor!

Gonna start by saying, last night when I tried to play, from the time I got in, all I heard were complaints about the rotations getting stuck, maps not getting played, other players, etc etc. Needless to say, didn't appreciate it. I post every rotation here and not a single comment is posted back so please don't complain about it during the game. Disrupting game play in this manner will get you kicked. If the server gets stuck at the end of a particular map, it is helpful to know which map in case it's simply the next map is missing from the server which does happen on occasion as maps have to be loaded each time the rotation is changed. If there's a problem with a player and no admin around, then feel free to send a PM to an Admin or Head Admin, don't post it here. *** Now, spent some time today to change up the rotations. As this server runs rotations based on the number of players, some maps were not getting played much so I set the number of players where rotations change from small to medium to large size maps. Small maps up to 4 players Medium maps up to 10 players Large maps with 11 players or more. Let me know if the player counts work or don't work well for the map size rotations. This can be adjusted to try and get the most out of the maps. It will never be perfect but only other option is to have a single rotation with various size maps. Small map rotation #1 map mp_78bathroom map mp_bog map mp_dome map mp_gardenofheat map mp_iceworld map mp_lichtung map mp_nuked map mp_ripac map mp_shipments Medium map rotation #1 map mp_506th map mp_agx_abusimbel map mp_all_out map mp_bergsnow map mp_burgundysnow map mp_courtyard map mp_db_snowypark map mp_dock_assault map mp_falaise5 map mp_ict_stone map mp_makin_day map mp_nachtzug_2 map mp_pds map mp_remagen map mp_snr_ciudad_cod map mp_subway map mp_waw_arnhem Large map rotation #1 map mp_1078brecourt map mp_aa_vosges_fr map mp_ax_brecourt map mp_boulogne map mp_contra map mp_dogville map mp_gustav map mp_kwalajein map mp_newsicily map mp_ps7 map mp_shallowgrave map mp_sps_kiebu map mp_townville map mp_vodka

RobMc? RobMc?? RobMc Who??? Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!! Nice to hear from you again! (bloody Limey - hope he stays on his side of the Pond!!)

well look what the wind blew in, how you doing Rob you say breiefly for the prostatic fluid building up to much in rogenital sinus ? anyway welcome back

XtremeIdiots would like to wish all members celebrating their birthday today a happy birthday. YellowSnow (56)Xistance (47)

Thank-you skuzapo.

Happy Birthday to you both.

miss you Rob come back and play please

Happy Birthday

Rob xxoo

I will wait for you in Valhalla!!! missed your words Rob, can you stay now?!

Thanks Merlin for doing this!

I was wondering what that god awful smell was....

Cheers Rob

Thanks @RobMc I can always depend on you! Cheers hope you’re well.

An out of work pianist with Tourettes Syndrome is strolling around the streets and bars of Soho one unemployed afternoon. Walking down Dean Street he sees a lounge bar with a sign in the window 'Pianist wanted for evening performances'. 'F*cking get in there you c*nt!' he says to himself and goes to the bar. 'Get the f*cking manager of this pigshit middle class w*nkhole please... you c*nt', he says to a somewhat startled barman. The barman however obliges and his manager comes upstairs. 'Can I help you sir?' he says 'Yes you can you fat piece of sh*t, I saw your poxy advert in the c*ntting window and I'm here to audition.....w*nker.' The manager is naturally put off by the man's abrasive manner but his dire need for a top class pianist forces him to agree to an audition. The first tune he Pianist plays is an uplifting jazzy number, not too involving, yet utterly melodic. At the end the thrilled barman cries, 'Wonderful, wonderful. What was that called?' 'That song was called "Excuse me prime minister but I just ****ted your daughter, and now the bitch is blind...' 'Oh' says the manager 'err, can you play me another. Something a little less "lively". 'W*nker..' interjects the pianist before launching into a powerful ballad which leaves the manager in tears. The manager through his salty teardrops asks him the title. 'That little number was called "Sometimes when you do a bird up the **** you get sh*t on your bell-end.' I see' says the manager, 'Have you got any songs with less offensive titles?' 'Well there's my jazz number "Do you want me to split your ringhole", or there's the epic "I don't care if you're older my dear, you've still got nice jugs". 'Look' says the manager interrupting, I think you're a superb pianist but the title of your songs are a little "racy". I will hire you on the condition that you do not introduce your songs or speak to the audience.' 'F*ck it' says the pianist 'Why not'. On his first night everything is going superbly the crowd are lapping up his repertoire and his silence is being received as modesty. The only thing putting off the pianist is that in the front row there is a gorgeous blonde in a black evening dress with a split up the side revealing the tops of her stockings, and a plunging neckline which boasts a proud and inviting cleavage. During the interval the pianist has got such an impressive 'swelling' that he decides to go to the bog and pollish one off, to 'relax himself'. Just as he has 'relinquished' he hears himself being re-introduced over the P.A, so he rushes back to the stage and finishes his act. After the show he is at the bar relaxing when the blonde approaches him. 'Hi' she says. 'Hello' he winces, struggling to hold in the expletives. She leans over and whispers in his ear, 'Do you know your penis is hanging out of your trousers, and sp*nk is dribbling onto your shoes?' 'Know it?' says the pianist putting his beer on the bar confidently, I f*cking wrote it!!!'

I'm looking forward to the map as well.

The next rotation for DM3 is now running. Small map rotation #1 map mp_crate_yard map mp_cw_abandoned map mp_egn map mp_killhouse_long map mp_iceworld map mp_lichtung map mp_little_town map mp_ripac map mp_sandbox Medium map rotation #6 map mp_bloc map mp_boneyard map mp_cw_neuville map mp_dawnville map mp_district_day map mp_downtown2 map mp_erdingtonoff map mp_makin map mp_marsh map mp_matmata map mp_mohaa_dv map mp_mohdm1 map mp_montelimar map mp_murmansk map mp_myths_farm map mp_nachtzug_2 map mp_newvillers map mp_nightmare map mp_nijmegen map mp_nvabase map mp_overgrown map mp_pipeline map mp_waw_peaks_s map mp_kokoda Cheers

my personal favourite Dutch word is schaamhaarverzamelaar

Sup fcker...