mickvette Posted June 26, 2011 Member ID: 338 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 12 Topic Count: 66 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 218 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 21 Achievement Points: 1906 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/10/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: June 17, 2022 Birthday: 03/01/1955 Share Posted June 26, 2011 The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" From the female side.... Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE) 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports or news, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Captain Cook did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Cars. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
3rdCdnInfty Posted June 26, 2011 Member ID: 1444 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 39 Topic Count: 412 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 3808 Content Per Day: 0.75 Reputation: 1509 Achievement Points: 25299 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 9 Joined: 05/24/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: August 28, 2023 Birthday: 05/01/1988 Device: Android Share Posted June 26, 2011 LMFAO haha, so damn true but I wont be telling my girl these, I like sex and this might take it away so goodluck to any guy who has the balls to tell his girl these rules lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Angel Posted June 27, 2011 Member ID: 46 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 104 Topic Count: 132 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 4316 Content Per Day: 0.81 Reputation: 2955 Achievement Points: 34774 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 11 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: September 18, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2011 It for sure wont be my man!! LoL!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toothpick Posted June 27, 2011 Member ID: 1891 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 12 Topic Count: 59 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1092 Content Per Day: 0.22 Reputation: 4 Achievement Points: 6106 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/14/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 17, 2012 Birthday: 03/19/1985 Share Posted June 27, 2011 so true! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackwidow Posted June 27, 2011 Member ID: 31 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 48 Topic Count: 28 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 372 Content Per Day: 0.07 Reputation: 256 Achievement Points: 2783 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 11 hours ago Birthday: 12/25/1981 Device: Windows Share Posted June 27, 2011 I find these to pretty accurate..but if you were to talk to my husband he would tell you..he wears the pants but I tell him which pair to wear:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
3rdCdnInfty Posted June 27, 2011 Member ID: 1444 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 39 Topic Count: 412 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 3808 Content Per Day: 0.75 Reputation: 1509 Achievement Points: 25299 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 9 Joined: 05/24/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: August 28, 2023 Birthday: 05/01/1988 Device: Android Share Posted June 27, 2011 blackwidow I find these to pretty accurate..but if you were to talk to my husband he would tell you..he wears the pants but I tell him which pair to wear:) haha lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Merlin007 Posted June 27, 2011 Member ID: 2068 Group: +++ COD5 Head Admin Followers: 69 Topic Count: 1073 Topics Per Day: 0.22 Content Count: 8434 Content Per Day: 1.73 Reputation: 7292 Achievement Points: 74918 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 64 Joined: 12/25/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 8 hours ago Birthday: 05/23/1973 Device: Android Share Posted June 27, 2011 LMAO. Awesome mick. Just emailed these to my wife. She will get a kick out of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
USAPLISKEN Posted June 27, 2011 Member ID: 1634 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 26 Topic Count: 210 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 1634 Content Per Day: 0.33 Reputation: 370 Achievement Points: 12427 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/03/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: June 28, 2016 Birthday: 04/19/1949 Share Posted June 27, 2011 LMFAO very good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mickvette Posted June 27, 2011 Member ID: 338 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 12 Topic Count: 66 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 218 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 21 Achievement Points: 1906 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/10/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: June 17, 2022 Birthday: 03/01/1955 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 Glad you all enjoyed, another post on its way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Bazza Posted June 27, 2011 Member ID: 340 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 26 Topic Count: 75 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1078 Content Per Day: 0.20 Reputation: 391 Achievement Points: 6669 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/10/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 3 Birthday: 06/21/1971 Device: Android Share Posted June 27, 2011 bloody awesome and also bloody true. my wife will kill me when i show her these, WHEN she hauls her lazy ass outa bed that is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Zoe Posted June 27, 2011 Member ID: 1147 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 4 Topic Count: 57 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 721 Content Per Day: 0.14 Reputation: 2 Achievement Points: 4195 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/16/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: Never Birthday: 05/15/1980 Share Posted June 27, 2011 blackwidow I find these to pretty accurate..but if you were to talk to my husband he would tell you..he wears the pants but I tell him which pair to wear:) sooooo true!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teleck Posted June 30, 2011 Member ID: 601 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 2 Topic Count: 52 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 389 Content Per Day: 0.07 Reputation: 69 Achievement Points: 2583 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/20/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: November 22, 2016 Birthday: 07/13/1967 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Amen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBB Posted June 30, 2011 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 265 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18139 Content Per Day: 3.47 Reputation: 20155 Achievement Points: 132929 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 263 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 9 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted June 30, 2011 RIGHT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
NickTheGrip Posted June 30, 2011 Member ID: 177 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 16 Topic Count: 145 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 1669 Content Per Day: 0.31 Reputation: 281 Achievement Points: 10581 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: June 27, 2023 Birthday: 05/08/1961 Device: iPhone Share Posted June 30, 2011 3rdCdnInfty LMFAO haha, so damn true but I wont be telling my girl these, I like sex and this might take it away so goodluck to any guy who has the balls to tell his girl these rules lol I sent them to the ex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
LilAcorn Posted June 30, 2011 Member ID: 1818 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 61 Topic Count: 140 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 1041 Content Per Day: 0.21 Reputation: 556 Achievement Points: 14304 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/21/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: March 12 Birthday: 06/12/1975 Device: Windows Share Posted June 30, 2011 My man keeps the seat down when he is done taking a piss... my house i live here 24/7 not him, i even tell my oldest son keep the fucken seat down! My hubby knows not to piss me off cause then he wont get any for weeks. I even tell him no masterbating too LOL. He cooks most of the time cause he bitches about how i cook the meat. warned him several times, if you dont like well done mean, you start cooking especially if you bitch one more time about it. So he did bitch about it and i told him he is to cook. he does his own laundry sicne he also bitches about the way i wash them but i will not put them away. I will either put them on his side of the bed or else where. He does the cat boxes, food and water.... he does the trash he does the shopping he works 5 days a week and approx 12 hrs a day. and bikes 8+ miles to and from work and does the shopping on bike too... he does the yardwork too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
3rdCdnInfty Posted June 30, 2011 Member ID: 1444 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 39 Topic Count: 412 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 3808 Content Per Day: 0.75 Reputation: 1509 Achievement Points: 25299 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 9 Joined: 05/24/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: August 28, 2023 Birthday: 05/01/1988 Device: Android Share Posted June 30, 2011 NickTheGrip 3rdCdnInfty LMFAO haha, so damn true but I wont be telling my girl these, I like sex and this might take it away so goodluck to any guy who has the balls to tell his girl these rules lol I sent them to the ex ahahah lmao yeah and what did she say and I hope you did and not your girl lol haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Ferret Posted June 30, 2011 Member ID: 859 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 6 Topic Count: 69 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 681 Content Per Day: 0.13 Reputation: 10 Achievement Points: 4117 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/09/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: August 9, 2014 Birthday: 11/04/1968 Share Posted June 30, 2011 LilAcorn My man keeps the seat down when he is done taking a piss... my house i live here 24/7 not him, i even tell my oldest son keep the fucken seat down! My hubby knows not to piss me off cause then he wont get any for weeks. I even tell him no masterbating too LOL. He cooks most of the time cause he bitches about how i cook the meat. warned him several times, if you dont like well done mean, you start cooking especially if you bitch one more time about it. So he did bitch about it and i told him he is to cook. he does his own laundry sicne he also bitches about the way i wash them but i will not put them away. I will either put them on his side of the bed or else where. He does the cat boxes, food and water.... he does the trash he does the shopping he works 5 days a week and approx 12 hrs a day. and bikes 8+ miles to and from work and does the shopping on bike too... he does the yardwork too. Toilet seats, catboxes, working 60 hrs per week - blah blah blah..... But "I even tell him no masterbating too LOL." ?!?!?!?!?! Now THAT is crossing the line, missy! I wonder why he "does his own laundry" ... the answer may be in the video below... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3rdCdnInfty Posted June 30, 2011 Member ID: 1444 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 39 Topic Count: 412 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 3808 Content Per Day: 0.75 Reputation: 1509 Achievement Points: 25299 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 9 Joined: 05/24/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: August 28, 2023 Birthday: 05/01/1988 Device: Android Share Posted June 30, 2011 Ferret LilAcorn My man keeps the seat down when he is done taking a piss... my house i live here 24/7 not him, i even tell my oldest son keep the fucken seat down! My hubby knows not to piss me off cause then he wont get any for weeks. I even tell him no masterbating too LOL. He cooks most of the time cause he bitches about how i cook the meat. warned him several times, if you dont like well done mean, you start cooking especially if you bitch one more time about it. So he did bitch about it and i told him he is to cook. he does his own laundry sicne he also bitches about the way i wash them but i will not put them away. I will either put them on his side of the bed or else where. He does the cat boxes, food and water.... he does the trash he does the shopping he works 5 days a week and approx 12 hrs a day. and bikes 8+ miles to and from work and does the shopping on bike too... he does the yardwork too. Toilet seats, catboxes, working 60 hrs per week - blah blah blah..... But "I even tell him no masterbating too LOL." ?!?!?!?!?! Now THAT is crossing the line, missy! I wonder why he "does his own laundry" ... the answer may be in the video below... lol, funny video Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
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