Things my Mother taught me

[Sonovabich]

THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME 
1. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"Your room looks like a tornado hit it."
2. My mother taught me about RELIGION.
"You better pray that comes out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."
4. My mother taught me about OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
5. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, I can take you out."
6. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in the world who don't have wonderful parents like you."
7. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when we get home."
8. My mother taught me about GENEOLOGY.
"Shut that door... You think you were raised in a barn?"
9. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids... I hope they turn out just like you!"
10. My mother taught me about LOGIC.
"Because I said so, That's why."
11. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until your spinach is gone."
12. My mother taught me about IRONY.
"Keep crying. I'll give you something to cry about."

[WeednFeed]

Your Mother sounds like my Father.

[Merlin007]

I m pretty sure we all heard all or at least some them. I know I heard them I heard them all.

[Hunter1948]

LOL I heard most of that growing up or wait till your father gets home she wasn't talking about god.

[TheLastColdBeer]

Mom also warned me, "be careful what you're good at, you might be stuck doing it."

[hxtr]

My mom got me to compare myself to animals.

You like a bull in a china cabinet!

[Sonovabich]

My mom got me to compare myself to animals.

 

You like a bull in a china cabinet!

Me too, maybe because i'm hung like a Donkey

[hxtr]

LOL I heard most of that growing up or wait till your father gets home she wasn't talking about god.

Shit... sometimes I had to wait 3, 6 and even a year for my father to get back and my mom held on to all that dirt even thought beat already somethings twice if the school spanked me. Then he gets home.. excited to see him but I know I am in trouble. Got to the point I did not want my dad to come home.

 

Fucking mind fuck!

[Bazza]

lol, all i know , tho my mother couldnt spell osmoses, ossimosses, whatever  

Old school english women were cows,   er..   loving beautiful people, especially my mum who thank god doesn't know much past an email.

[Lunkster]

One of the best lines I ever heard from my Mother was when I was out playing with some friends..

 

"If you fall out of that tree & break your leg don't come running to me for sympathy"

 

Luckily I've never had to find out what running with a busted leg is like...