A Man's Age, As Determined By A Trip To Home Depot

[JohnnyDos]

A MAN'S
AGE, AS DETERMINED BY A TRIP TO HOME DEPOT


You
are in the middle of a few projects at your home: putting in a new fence,
painting the basement walls, putting in a new garden.
You
are hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt and paint. You have
your old work clothes on. You know the outfit -- shorts with the hole in the
crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what, and an old pair of tennis
shoes.

Right in the middle of these projects you realize you need to run
to Home Depot for supplies.

Depending on your age you might do the
following:


In
your 20s:

Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush
your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes.
Check yourself in the mirror and
flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because, you never know, you just might
meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout line.

And yes, you
went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In
your 30s:

Stop
what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change your shoes. You
married the hot chick so no need for much else.
Wash
your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a
shot of your favourite cologne to cover the smell.

The
cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school
with.


In your 40s:
Stop
what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in
the crotch of your shorts.
Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands.
Your bottle of Brute is almost empty, so don't waste any of it on a trip to Home
Depot.
Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than
flexing.

The
hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird
about thinking she's spicy.

In your
50s:
Stop
what you are doing. Put on a hat. Wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt.
Change shoes because you don't want to get dog crap in your new sports car.
Check yourself in the mirror and swear not to wear that shirt any more

because it makes you look fat.

The cutie running the register smiles
when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember --
the hat you have on is from Bubba's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got
Worms '

In
your 60s:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat any more. Hose the
dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your
50s.
You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your
pants.

The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your
glasses on, so you're not sure.

In
your 70s:
Stop what
you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your
prescriptions ready too. Don't even notice the dog crap on your
shoes.

The young thing at the register stares at you and you realize your
balls are hanging out the hole in your crotch.

In
your 80s:
Stop
what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you need to
go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead.
You went to school with the old
lady greeter.

You
wander around trying to remember what you are looking for. Then
you fart out loud and think someone called your name.

In your 90s
& beyond:
What's
a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading
this?
Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?

[TBB]

LMAO - unfortunately true

[Merlin007]

So true Johnny. Good 1.

[Joe Canadian]

Good one Johnny, did you have 2manybeers in mind when you wrote this? lol

[jimboom]

Thanks M8   <very good >

[pancakes]

lol im 18 and I go to home depot like a 60 year old xD

[pwrcrzy52]

LMAO good one Johnny   I'm the 60 one wife will not go if i don't change.    

[Damage_inc-]

omg ive progressed to 70...that is hilarius.made up for my shitty day.thanks

[GhostfaceJim]

Haha!  That's funny

[BigPapaDean]

From reading the replies I presume most of you are in the 70's group! I would go get me a beer and call the pretty young thing behind the counter and have her deliver herself and the supplies I need!