JohnnyDos Posted June 27, 2013 Member ID: 77 Group: Fallen Members Followers: 111 Topic Count: 1018 Topics Per Day: 0.19 Content Count: 7527 Content Per Day: 1.41 Reputation: 9175 Achievement Points: 69486 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 47 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 8, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2013 A MAN'SAGE, AS DETERMINED BY A TRIP TO HOME DEPOTYouare in the middle of a few projects at your home: putting in a new fence,painting the basement walls, putting in a new garden.Youare hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt and paint. You haveyour old work clothes on. You know the outfit -- shorts with the hole in thecrotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what, and an old pair of tennisshoes.Right in the middle of these projects you realize you need to runto Home Depot for supplies.Depending on your age you might do thefollowing: Inyour 20s:Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brushyour teeth, floss and put on clean clothes.Check yourself in the mirror andflex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because, you never know, you just mightmeet some hot chick while standing in the checkout line.And yes, youwent to school with the pretty girl running the register.Inyour 30s:Stopwhat you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change your shoes. Youmarried the hot chick so no need for much else.Washyour hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add ashot of your favourite cologne to cover the smell.Thecute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to schoolwith. In your 40s:Stopwhat you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole inthe crotch of your shorts.Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands.Your bottle of Brute is almost empty, so don't waste any of it on a trip to HomeDepot.Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in thanflexing.Thehot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weirdabout thinking she's spicy.In your50s:Stopwhat you are doing. Put on a hat. Wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt.Change shoes because you don't want to get dog crap in your new sports car.Check yourself in the mirror and swear not to wear that shirt any morebecause it makes you look fat.The cutie running the register smileswhen she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember --the hat you have on is from Bubba's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I GotWorms ' Inyour 60s:Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat any more. Hose thedog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your50s.You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in yourpants.The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have yourglasses on, so you're not sure.Inyour 70s:Stop whatyou are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has yourprescriptions ready too. Don't even notice the dog crap on yourshoes.The young thing at the register stares at you and you realize yourballs are hanging out the hole in your crotch.Inyour 80s:Stopwhat you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you need togo to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead.You went to school with the oldlady greeter.Youwander around trying to remember what you are looking for. Thenyou fart out loud and think someone called your name.In your 90s& beyond:What'sa home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I readingthis?Did I send it? Did you? Who farted? Damage_inc-, Blackbart, BigPapaDean and 7 others 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBB Posted June 27, 2013 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 265 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18136 Content Per Day: 3.47 Reputation: 20152 Achievement Points: 132908 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 263 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 12 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted June 27, 2013 LMAO - unfortunately true jimboom 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Merlin007 Posted June 27, 2013 Member ID: 2068 Group: +++ COD5 Head Admin Followers: 69 Topic Count: 1073 Topics Per Day: 0.22 Content Count: 8434 Content Per Day: 1.73 Reputation: 7291 Achievement Points: 74913 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 64 Joined: 12/25/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 3 hours ago Birthday: 05/23/1973 Device: Windows Share Posted June 27, 2013 So true Johnny. Good 1. jimboom 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Joe Canadian Posted June 27, 2013 Member ID: 822 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 87 Topic Count: 317 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 5477 Content Per Day: 1.04 Reputation: 5025 Achievement Points: 42632 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 20 Joined: 12/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 25, 2023 Birthday: 03/01/1967 Device: Windows Share Posted June 27, 2013 Good one Johnny, did you have 2manybeers in mind when you wrote this? lol JohnnyDos and jimboom 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
jimboom Posted June 27, 2013 Member ID: 3766 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 70 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 126 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 117 Achievement Points: 1681 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/02/12 Status: Offline Last Seen: November 13, 2021 Birthday: 03/20/1968 Share Posted June 27, 2013 Thanks M8 <very good > Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pancakes Posted June 27, 2013 Member ID: 2395 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 19 Topic Count: 40 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 800 Content Per Day: 0.17 Reputation: 217 Achievement Points: 5471 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/13/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 10 Birthday: 07/22/1994 Device: Windows Share Posted June 27, 2013 lol im 18 and I go to home depot like a 60 year old xD BigPapaDean 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
pwrcrzy52 Posted June 27, 2013 Member ID: 103 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 43 Topic Count: 698 Topics Per Day: 0.13 Content Count: 3298 Content Per Day: 0.62 Reputation: 1604 Achievement Points: 25682 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 2 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 21 Birthday: 07/10/1952 Device: Windows Share Posted June 27, 2013 LMAO good one Johnny I'm the 60 one wife will not go if i don't change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Damage_inc- Posted June 28, 2013 Member ID: 2048 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 294 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 6689 Content Per Day: 1.37 Reputation: 4709 Achievement Points: 48999 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 5 Joined: 12/15/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: November 29, 2023 Birthday: 05/30/1967 Device: Windows Share Posted June 28, 2013 omg ive progressed to 70...that is hilarius.made up for my shitty day.thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
GhostfaceJim Posted June 28, 2013 Member ID: 2314 Group: ++ Conan Exiles Admin Followers: 32 Topic Count: 112 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 20717 Content Per Day: 4.33 Reputation: 5314 Achievement Points: 113891 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 50 Joined: 03/19/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: 26 minutes ago Birthday: 04/22/1975 Device: Windows Share Posted June 28, 2013 Haha! That's funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
BigPapaDean Posted June 28, 2013 Member ID: 1128 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 78 Topic Count: 1196 Topics Per Day: 0.23 Content Count: 6519 Content Per Day: 1.26 Reputation: 4407 Achievement Points: 63373 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 5 Joined: 02/13/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: Thursday at 10:08 PM Birthday: 10/21/1954 Device: Windows Share Posted June 28, 2013 From reading the replies I presume most of you are in the 70's group! I would go get me a beer and call the pretty young thing behind the counter and have her deliver herself and the supplies I need! pancakes 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
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