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Posted

>

> DISNEYLAND

> Two Newfies were going to Disneyland. They were driving on the Interstate when

they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They turned around and went

home.

> FLORIDA OR MOON

>

> Two newfies were sitting on a bench talking, and one says to the other, 'Which

do you think is farther away. Florida or the moon?' The other turns and says jezz

bye that's easy. Can you see Florida ?????'

>

> CAR

> TROUBLE

> A newfie pushes his BMW into a gas station.. he tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

> The newfie says, 'What's the story?'

> The mechanic replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'

> The newf asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

>

> SPEEDING TICKET

>

> A police officer stops a newfie for speeding and asks him if he could see his

license.

>

> he replies in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.

> Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it

to you!'

>

> THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

>

> A newfie goes into the doctor's office and said that his body hurt wherever he

touched it.

>

> 'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'

>

> The newfie took his finger, pushed on his left shoulder and screamed, then he

pushed his elbow and screamed even more. he pushed his knee and screamed; then he

pushed his ankle and screamed. Everywhere he touched made him scream.

>

> The doctor said, 'You're not from Ontario are you?

>

> No he said, 'I'm actually from Newfoundland.'

>

> 'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'

>

> IN A VACUUM

>

> A newfie was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.... It was his turn. He rolled

the dice and landed on Science & Nature. His question was, 'If you are in a vacuum

and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' he thought for a time and then asked,

'Is it on or off?'

>

> FINALLY,

> THE NEWFIE JOKE TO END A LL NEWFIE JOKES!

>

> A guy was visiting his newfie friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked

him what their names were. The newfie replied that one was named Rolex and one was

named Timex. His friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'

Dats easy answered the newfie 'They're watch dogs'!

>

> I’d Like To Add Another Newfie Joke

> A policeman pulls over a Newfie, in Ontario for speeding, while he’s writing out

the ticket a fly was bothering the Cop, so the Newfie says. That’s a circle fly sir.

The policeman asks, what’s a circle fly? Newfie says, them are the flies you find in

the barn around a horses ass. The policeman says, you calling me a horses ass, oh no

sir, I would never say a thing like that, but you can't fool them flies sir.



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Posted

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL THE REAL NEWFIES



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Posted

Oh Johnny, the last joke with the flies was the best. :laughing:

Have to steal a joke from Bullet...

What do you call a Newfie with half-a-brain?

Gifted!

Forgive me Newf, I just couldn't resist. :cheers:



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Posted (edited)

I don't understand why you are make fun of these kindly giant dogs!

 

newfoundland-dog-profile.jpg

Edited by PingLo


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  • 4 weeks later...

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Posted (edited)

I’d Like To Add some Newfie Jokes

--------------------------------------------

Newfie elderly couple at the doctors office

 

the wife asked to be taken to the doctors

 

while waiting, hubby wondering whats going on

 

the wife come out of office to go washroom

 

he slipped into to doctor and asked

 

what wrong with her

 

doc say's acute angina

 

hubby says with a wink... i knows and she got a cute set of tits too

Edited by KaptCrunch


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  • 2 weeks later...

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Posted

rofl cute set of tits too lol :clap:



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Posted

LMFAO!! I especially love the speeding ticket opne Johnny. Beer , that's fine, I'll get ya back and that pos thing you call a friend named Bullet haha.

 

Ya'll just stays where ya too 'til I comes where ya at cause I'm gonna have fun tickling

 

Sunday is VERY near muwahahahaha



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Posted

LMFAO!! I especially love the speeding ticket opne Johnny. Beer , that's fine, I'll get ya back and that pos thing you call a friend named Bullet haha.

 

Ya'll just stays where ya too 'til I comes where ya at cause I'm gonna have fun tickling

 

Sunday is VERY near muwahahahaha

I'll be there Newf.Gonna be fun to kill one of the "Original Members" Hey can you get a hold of Caper,I'd like to see if I can give him a little bash.Be nice if Noddy would stop by also.


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Posted

Caper is a good possibility but I highly doubt that Noddy would join. Don't even think he has cod2 on his computer any more. And not to mention, I haven't spoken with him in quite some time. But I do remember him saying that he's lost all interest in cod2



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Posted

Talked w/RangerDC yesterday, He'd like to be there. Rugger says it's open to all. I was wondering about VonSykes? This is for Killa, hopefully put aside any personal griefs in Killa's memory.


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