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32xmg5bml5ge1.mp4

58vrf8oqevqa2.mp4

Thanks Dew for doing this. You have a good heart

*Something here to offend everyone - in every sense...* Now on sale at IKEA - beds for lesbians: no nuts or screwing involved, it's all tongue and groove. Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8. I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency. The lead actor in the local pantomime production of Aladdin was anally raped by the gay genie on stage last night - to be fair the audience did try to warn him. Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min (charges may vary) Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?" She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook". Just booked a table for Valentine's Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though - she's crap at snooker. Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new Taser! If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham then delete it. It's Spam. They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 6 months is going to shift this beer belly. When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateaux...

It had been snowing all night ………….. 8:00 am I made a snowman. 8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman. 8:15 So, I made a snow woman. 8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere. 8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead. 8:22 The transgender ma..wom...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts. 8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with. 8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white. 8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa. 8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended. 8:42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role. 8:43 The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction. 8:45 TV news crew from the ABC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist. 9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather. 9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services. 9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded. Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the world in which we live today and it is going to get much worse

Unfortunately that's very true lol. However, I am sure there is someone else who could use it more than I could.

He does and you do not need to be a member to be nice

Pulled the trigger on a new (used) boat on Friday. 2000 Sea Ray 410 Express Cruiser. Length: 45'-6" Beam: 13'-10" Weight: 21,000 lbs Twin Mercruiser 454 Mag MPI Horizon motors, 380 HP each Comes with it's own tow behind gas pump Have to get through a sea trial and complete survey. If all goes well, she'll be buffed and bottom painted and back in the water by the second week in May. Needs new canvas and a a couple of cushions that need some attention. Other than that she is in great shape for a 23 year old boat. Need to come up with a name for it. Any suggestions? If anyone is interested in a 2012 Larson Cabrio 857 we should have one for sale soon!

I first wish to thank everyone who has offered prayers and kind words during a very trying time. Late Monday night 3/20 or early Tuesday 3/21 after not feeling so hot for a few days I woke up with horrible pain in my chest and it felt like someone had parked a 1968 Buick on my chest that was so bad it woke me up. I was also sweating bullets and having trouble breathing. I woke my wife up ot of a sound sleep to tell her to get me my nitro pill and to call 911 and she started panicking. She gets horrible panic attacks and seeing her like that made it so much worse. The EMT's showed up after I had taken a second nitro and they confirmed I was having a big heart attack. They rushed me to the ER about 1.5 miles away and within a hour after several doses of Morphine I was in surgery and having angioplasty and a stent put in my fully 100% blocked right Coronary Artery. However this couldn't have come at a worse time as I had changed jobs 45 days prior and have no health coverage or earned time off. It looks so far that I may qualify for supplemental coverage from the State of Wa. under a new law but I still have to figure out how to cover our bills on much less income this month. I don't really need the added stress but hey this is the facts. I honest believe that it was your prayers, my friends and families prayers and all the positive energy sent my way that helped me survive something many don't get to because they never wake up or are too far from a quality hospital. They had defib pads on me before they left my bedroom because they thought I might not make the trip of 1.5 miles without my heart stopping. I am making progress and even played a little this weekend after being sent home to recover. I was allowed to return to my new job today and it was a little tough but got bills to pay. Thanks Again So Very Much to everyone for helping me and making me smile with those amazing words of encouragement. They meant so much to me and my wife. If anything changes I will send @loaderXI a message but lets hope the new meds and no more cigarettes will help a old man get a few more miles out of this ride. >XI< is the biggest most amazing Family anyone could ever be part of and please remember that from someone who has been around here a long long time and never plans to leave

Thanks for the mp wfoxhole map

YES

@RobMc home video???

Charming, nice outlook FU

do I care? does it matter? Just another facepalm!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Who needs conspiracy theories? Turn the news on for 30 seconds & you can see all the disasters coming in to play in real time. White house that claims drag queens are the soul of the nation. China buying up third world nations by sinking them into unpayable debt. The two most industrialized & populous nations ditching the dollar & doing deals with their own currency. Summit of "democracy" openly laughed at, because nothing but dictators attended. End of Western civilization as we once knew it. The rotary oscillator has only just begun to sling shit. Keep your powder dry, and sharpen your knives, it's going to be bare survival time shortly.

Idiot on board

Call it "401K" your retirement plan.

Hopefully it doesn't mean you'll stop posting our favorite pictures!!!!

Laz, was there an explosion at the glue factory near you? Lol

It means Leprechauns are a LIE and the pot of gold is NOT at the end of the rainbow because there is no end to that circle. Thanks @Timmah! for shattering my dream. Please don’t do any research into Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny. Just leave it alone!

@MtDeW I would like to nominate @MHsDaughter please. She is playing on a crappy old Dell that lags bad and crashes frequently.

I have dealt with this for many years and conclusion is some just do not give a shit about score or even learning new techniques...Believe me I have tried ! Oddly enough over the years we have had a player known as (beginingplayer) never talked and would end every round like 0 and 100...Over the years I finally got a chance to talk to him one on one and he spoke English and was in his late 80's and said he just enjoyed running around and listening to everyone and of course getting shot every 2 1/2 seconds...Funny thing is I showed him how to bash and that turned into his new motive and he got good at it and would wack the shit out of all us... I guess the moral here is we do not know who some of these people are and may not even enjoy their lack of team play or skill but despite all that they come back time and time again and in some way we are helping them escape real life troubles of their own and I guess that is all we can be thankful for because one day there will not be many of us left to come back...I get what your saying 100% but just giving my one pence

thank you Skuz ( and again for the little people map )

Not an outlook just a facts. I am in the old group so what. We are all here to have fun. You seem to get your panties in a bunch very easily. Cheers.