Congratulations Yanks

[RobMc]

Hey now I see the USA are hosting the real game of football, as played by 99% of the world, not your impostor football (sorry Dot), you might even enjoy it (I don't). So Rob will give you a few pointers :-

1/. It's played over two 45 minute sides with a 15 minute break, extra time is awarded for delays, it is not played over 5 hours with multiple stoppages which you're used to.

2/. No one wears armour and only the goalkeeper handles the ball

3/. Heres the bitch, no time for bbq's

4/. You will observe players writhing in agony on the ground, sobbing and crying, don't worry this is normal

5/. Nowadays it is hard to distinguish players as they're all covered in tattoos and look similar

6/. Get someone else to explain the offside rule

7/. Stick to what you know, sports designed for people over 6' 6" and 500 lbs

 

Any questions ask Monkie, he's the expert

[TBB]

15 minutes ago, RobMc said:

Hey now I see the USA are hosting the real game of football, as played by 99% of the world, not your impostor football (sorry Dot), you might even enjoy it (I don't). So Rob will give you a few pointers :-

1/. It's played over two 45 minute sides with a 15 minute break, extra time is awarded for delays, it is not played over 5 hours with multiple stoppages which you're used to.

2/. No one wears armour and only the goalkeeper handles the ball

3/. Heres the bitch, no time for bbq's

4/. You will observe players writhing in agony on the ground, sobbing and crying, don't worry this is normal

5/. Nowadays it is hard to distinguish players as they're all covered in tattoos and look similar

6/. Get someone else to explain the offside rule

7/. Stick to what you know, sports designed for people over 6' 6" and 500 lbs

 

Any questions ask Monkie, he's the expert

And you're describing one of your dates why???   

[RobMc]

1 hour ago, TBB said:

And you're describing one of your dates why???   

I don't date football players, but if that's your scene buddy?????????????? who gives a toss ?? (GET IT?)

[RobMc]

More football facts for the newbies

1/. The ball is round

2/. The goalposts are quite low

3/. You get an orange at half time

4/. You can get quite rich

5/. Managers are sacked and changed every month

6/. Most clubs are broke, the players are not

7/. Women play, but not against men, which I find strange with equality laws?

8/. Supporters enjoy fighting each other

9/. It gets less physical as the years go by

[jointz]

Rob is going to be classified as a goalkeeper based on the fact he love to handle the balls. I heard usually it's the refs but that was just word on the street