bds1961 Posted January 18, 2017 Member ID: 1213 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 19 Topic Count: 172 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 5350 Content Per Day: 1.03 Reputation: 13966 Achievement Points: 47149 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 174 Joined: 03/04/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 8 hours ago Birthday: 10/11/1961 Device: iPad Share Posted January 18, 2017 Two condoms were walking down the street. They stop in front of a gay bar. One says to the other. Want to go in here and get shit faced!! How do you use a condom twice ? Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it. Sonovabich, hxtr, Merlin007 and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Bosun Posted January 18, 2017 Member ID: 1445 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 14 Topic Count: 31 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 721 Content Per Day: 0.14 Reputation: 1366 Achievement Points: 5571 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 3 Joined: 05/25/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 23 hours ago Birthday: 01/23/1963 Device: Windows Share Posted January 18, 2017 How many condoms can you get if you recycle a tire? About 365 in a Goodyear... FUNky, Merlin007, TheLastColdBeer and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
hxtr Posted January 18, 2017 Member ID: 220 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 147 Topic Count: 595 Topics Per Day: 0.11 Content Count: 16950 Content Per Day: 3.16 Reputation: 13538 Achievement Points: 129713 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 120 Joined: 09/04/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 26, 2023 Birthday: 04/05/1970 Device: Windows Share Posted January 18, 2017 Have you ever seen the serial number on a condom? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . I guess you never rolled it up that far. bds1961, FUNky, TheLastColdBeer and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin007 Posted January 18, 2017 Member ID: 2068 Group: +++ COD5 Head Admin Followers: 69 Topic Count: 1075 Topics Per Day: 0.22 Content Count: 8443 Content Per Day: 1.73 Reputation: 7305 Achievement Points: 75002 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 64 Joined: 12/25/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 4 hours ago Birthday: 05/23/1973 Device: Windows Share Posted January 18, 2017 What's a submarine and a condom have in common? They both hold seamen. Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk FUNky, TheLastColdBeer, hxtr and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
bds1961 Posted January 18, 2017 Member ID: 1213 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 19 Topic Count: 172 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 5350 Content Per Day: 1.03 Reputation: 13966 Achievement Points: 47149 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 174 Joined: 03/04/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 8 hours ago Birthday: 10/11/1961 Device: iPad Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 Think seven years is bad luck for breaking a mirror. Try breaking a condom. little_old_man, BigPapaDean, TheLastColdBeer and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
bds1961 Posted January 18, 2017 Member ID: 1213 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 19 Topic Count: 172 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 5350 Content Per Day: 1.03 Reputation: 13966 Achievement Points: 47149 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 174 Joined: 03/04/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 8 hours ago Birthday: 10/11/1961 Device: iPad Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 (edited) Have you ever seen the serial number on a condom? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . I guess you never rolled it up that far. I can tell you the rumer you heard is true from experience Lol Edited January 18, 2017 by bds1961 BigPapaDean, TBB and little_old_man 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
FUNky Posted January 18, 2017 Member ID: 25212 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 38 Topic Count: 43 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1449 Content Per Day: 0.53 Reputation: 2446 Achievement Points: 14728 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 13 Joined: 10/31/16 Status: Offline Last Seen: May 6, 2021 Birthday: 07/13/1967 Share Posted January 18, 2017 What are the three sizes of Condoms? Large, Medium and European BigPapaDean, TheLastColdBeer, BUDMAN and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
hxtr Posted January 18, 2017 Member ID: 220 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 147 Topic Count: 595 Topics Per Day: 0.11 Content Count: 16950 Content Per Day: 3.16 Reputation: 13538 Achievement Points: 129713 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 120 Joined: 09/04/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 26, 2023 Birthday: 04/05/1970 Device: Windows Share Posted January 18, 2017 What are the three sizes of Condoms? Large, Medium and European Unless you are Scottish... like me. FUNky 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bds1961 Posted January 18, 2017 Member ID: 1213 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 19 Topic Count: 172 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 5350 Content Per Day: 1.03 Reputation: 13966 Achievement Points: 47149 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 174 Joined: 03/04/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 8 hours ago Birthday: 10/11/1961 Device: iPad Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 Unless you are Scottish... like me. What d you use then? One of those finger condoms bankers use hxtr, BigPapaDean and Merlin007 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
JohnnyDos Posted January 18, 2017 Member ID: 77 Group: Fallen Members Followers: 111 Topic Count: 1018 Topics Per Day: 0.19 Content Count: 7527 Content Per Day: 1.40 Reputation: 9175 Achievement Points: 69486 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 47 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2017 Have you ever seen the serial number on a condom? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . I guess you never rolled it up that far. Hxtr,aren't you supposed to roll them down not up,that's how you take them off.Or do you save them? Merlin007, TheLastColdBeer, BigPapaDean and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bds1961 Posted January 18, 2017 Member ID: 1213 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 19 Topic Count: 172 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 5350 Content Per Day: 1.03 Reputation: 13966 Achievement Points: 47149 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 174 Joined: 03/04/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 8 hours ago Birthday: 10/11/1961 Device: iPad Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 Hxtr,aren't you supposed to roll them down not up,that's how you take them off.Or do you save them? Hxtr's removal service Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk JohnnyDos and FUNky 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
BigPapaDean Posted January 18, 2017 Member ID: 1128 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 78 Topic Count: 1199 Topics Per Day: 0.23 Content Count: 6527 Content Per Day: 1.25 Reputation: 4407 Achievement Points: 63430 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 5 Joined: 02/13/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 3 hours ago Birthday: 10/21/1954 Device: Windows Share Posted January 18, 2017 Hxtr,aren't you supposed to roll them down not up,that's how you take them off.Or do you save them? THEY ALL GO INTO HIS RECYCLE BIN FOR HIS GAY PORN STUDIOS! JohnnyDos 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Merlin007 Posted January 18, 2017 Member ID: 2068 Group: +++ COD5 Head Admin Followers: 69 Topic Count: 1075 Topics Per Day: 0.22 Content Count: 8443 Content Per Day: 1.73 Reputation: 7305 Achievement Points: 75002 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 64 Joined: 12/25/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 4 hours ago Birthday: 05/23/1973 Device: Windows Share Posted January 18, 2017 Hxtr's removal service Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Also referred to as lip service.[emoji12] Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk FUNky and TBB 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
TBB Posted January 18, 2017 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 268 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18189 Content Per Day: 3.47 Reputation: 20225 Achievement Points: 133298 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 267 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 4 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted January 18, 2017 Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore, a friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband. BigPapaDean, bds1961, Sammy and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
TBB Posted January 18, 2017 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 268 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18189 Content Per Day: 3.47 Reputation: 20225 Achievement Points: 133298 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 267 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 4 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted January 18, 2017 BUDMAN, Merlin007, BigPapaDean and 8 others 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
hxtr Posted January 18, 2017 Member ID: 220 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 147 Topic Count: 595 Topics Per Day: 0.11 Content Count: 16950 Content Per Day: 3.16 Reputation: 13538 Achievement Points: 129713 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 120 Joined: 09/04/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 26, 2023 Birthday: 04/05/1970 Device: Windows Share Posted January 18, 2017 What d you use then? One of those finger condoms bankers use No the dentist kind that covers the instruments. lol bds1961 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hxtr Posted January 18, 2017 Member ID: 220 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 147 Topic Count: 595 Topics Per Day: 0.11 Content Count: 16950 Content Per Day: 3.16 Reputation: 13538 Achievement Points: 129713 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 120 Joined: 09/04/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 26, 2023 Birthday: 04/05/1970 Device: Windows Share Posted January 18, 2017 OMG that is funny. Sure that is not a ISIS joke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hxtr Posted January 18, 2017 Member ID: 220 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 147 Topic Count: 595 Topics Per Day: 0.11 Content Count: 16950 Content Per Day: 3.16 Reputation: 13538 Achievement Points: 129713 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 120 Joined: 09/04/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 26, 2023 Birthday: 04/05/1970 Device: Windows Share Posted January 18, 2017 (edited) I just made one up...What do women call the tip of a condom?.. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ... . . . . A sperm bank. Flush your condoms guys. Edited January 19, 2017 by hxtr TheLastColdBeer, Merlin007, bds1961 and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little_old_man Posted January 18, 2017 Member ID: 1194 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 40 Topic Count: 436 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 6692 Content Per Day: 1.29 Reputation: 11691 Achievement Points: 53094 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 76 Joined: 02/27/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 16, 2023 Birthday: 04/15/1960 Share Posted January 18, 2017 What's a condom? Ive never heard of such a barbaric thing. TheLastColdBeer, bds1961, TBB and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
bds1961 Posted January 19, 2017 Member ID: 1213 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 19 Topic Count: 172 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 5350 Content Per Day: 1.03 Reputation: 13966 Achievement Points: 47149 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 174 Joined: 03/04/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 8 hours ago Birthday: 10/11/1961 Device: iPad Author Share Posted January 19, 2017 What's a condom? Ive never heard of such a barbaric thing. Well LOM. At your age and stage of life the best description that would fit in your case is. A sleeping bag for your penis. JohnnyDos, hxtr, little_old_man and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
TBB Posted January 19, 2017 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 268 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18189 Content Per Day: 3.47 Reputation: 20225 Achievement Points: 133298 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 267 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 4 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted January 19, 2017 Well LOM. At your age and stage of life the best description that would fit in your case is. A sleeping bag for your penis. ROFLMFAO hxtr 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
TBB Posted January 19, 2017 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 268 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18189 Content Per Day: 3.47 Reputation: 20225 Achievement Points: 133298 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 267 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 4 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted January 19, 2017 Cover your stump before you hump. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter Before you attack her, wrap your wrapper. Don't be silly, protect your willy. Don't be a prick, Cover your dick When in doubt, shroud your spout. Cover your skin, Before you break her in Don't be a loner, cover your boner. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick. If you go into heat, package your meat. Before you tap it cap it Especially in December, gift wrap your member. Wrap it before you Tap it Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool. Before you dig for those Pearls, cover your Jewel. The right selection! Protect your erection. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil. If you really love her, wear a cover. Don't make a mistake! Muzzle your snake. Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener. Never deck her with an unwrapped pecker. Bag it before you tag it! If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket. No glove, No love. Don't be in such a jiffy, cover your stiffy. If you go into heat, package your meat While your undressing Venus, dress up your penis A crank with armor, will never harm her If you think she'll sigh, cover old one eye Even If she's eager, protect her beaver Put a condom on your dink before you dart it in her sink Cloak the joker before you poke her Encase that torch before you paint her porch Don't surprise her plug your Geyser Cover that lumber before you pump her Cage that snake then shake and bake Cover your peter it will be much neater Put on the sling before you get some bling! hxtr, bds1961 and TheLastColdBeer 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
TBB Posted January 19, 2017 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 268 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18189 Content Per Day: 3.47 Reputation: 20225 Achievement Points: 133298 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 267 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 4 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted January 19, 2017 bds1961, TheLastColdBeer, Merlin007 and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
TBB Posted January 19, 2017 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 268 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18189 Content Per Day: 3.47 Reputation: 20225 Achievement Points: 133298 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 267 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 4 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted January 19, 2017 You think seven years bad luck for breaking a mirror is bad? Try breaking a condom… I said to the wife last night as we were getting into bed, “That box of Olympic condoms arrived today. I think I’ll wear gold tonight.” She said, “Why don’t you wear silver and come second for once?” What’s worse than finding a hole in your condom? Finding a condom in your hole. These three rednecks were sitting around one day, comparing their wives to see who had the dumbest. The first redneck said, ‘My wife’s so dumb, she bought a toilet, and we don’t even have running water.’ The second said, ‘That’s nothing! Mine bought a ceiling fan, and we don’t even have electricity.’ The third said, ‘Aw, that’s nothing! I was goin’ through my wife’s purse for some whisky money t’other night and found a box of condoms. And you know what? She ain’t even got a penis!’ This guy goes to the drug store with his young son. As they walk past the condom display, the boy notices them and asks his Dad, “What are these, Dad?” The man doesn’t believe in hiding things from his son and thinks his son is old enough to learn about such things so he says, “They are called condoms. Men use them for safe sex.” The boy looks at the display and notices there are packs of three condoms. He points to them and says, “Why are there three in those packets?” The Dad replies, “Those are for high-school boys – there’s one for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday.” “Cool!” says the boy, who then notices there are packs of six condoms and asks his Dad, “Then who are the packets of six for?” The Dad answers, “Those are for college men. There are two for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday.” “Wow!” said the boy, “Then who uses THESE?” as he picked up a twelve-pack. The Dad sighs sadly and says, “Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March … There’s nothing worse than looking down after sex and seeing that limp, used condom hanging off your penis. Especially when you weren’t wearing one when you began. A young married couple had just finished having sex. The woman asked her husband, “If I got pregnant, what would we call the baby?” He took off his condom and tied a knot in it. Then he flushed it down the toilet and said, “Well, if he can get out of that, we’ll call him Houdini.” A young couple had just finished having fantastic sex. Afterwards, the young woman looked in the box of condoms and saw that there were only six left out of the original twelve. She asked her boyfriend, “What happened to the five other condoms?” He rather nervously and shiftily replied, “Errmm, I masturbated with them.” The next day the woman went to one of her male friends and told him what had happened. Then she said to him, “Have you ever done that?” He replied, “Yeah, a few times.” She said, “You mean you’ve actually masturbated with a condom before?” “Oh!” he said, “I thought you were asking if I’d ever lied to my girlfriend.” bds1961, hxtr, TheLastColdBeer and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
TBB Posted January 19, 2017 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 268 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18189 Content Per Day: 3.47 Reputation: 20225 Achievement Points: 133298 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 267 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 4 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted January 19, 2017 Why is a woman like a condom? They both spend more time in your wallet than on your penis. Two condoms are walking down the street and stop outside of a gay bar. The first condom turns to the second and says, “Do you want to go in and get shit-faced?” A man is riding on a train and is carrying 3 babies. The lady next to him asks "are they your babies?" The man lowers his head and says "no, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints." JohnnyDos, Merlin007, TheLastColdBeer and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
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