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Last week I took some friends out to a restaurant and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange but I ignored it. However, when the drinks waiter brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. I looked around the room and saw that all the waiters had a spoon in their pocket. When the waiter came back to check on our order, I asked: "Why the spoon?" "Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Consultants At Large, experts in efficiency, in order to revamp all our processes. After several months of statistical analysis, they concluded that customers drop their spoons 73.84% more often than any other utensil. This represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel is prepared to deal with that contingency, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 1.5 man-hours per shift." As we finished talking, a metallic sound was heard from behind me. Quickly the waiter replaced the dropped spoon with the one in his pocket and said: "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was rather impressed. The waiter continued taking our order and, while my guests ordered, I continued to look around. Then I noticed that there was a very thin string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. My curiosity got the better of me and, before he walked off, I asked the waiter: "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?" "Oh, certainly!" he answered, lowering his voice. "Not everyone is as observant as you. That consulting firm I mentioned, also found out that we can save time in the lavatory." "How so?" "See," he continued, "by tying this string to the tip of... you know... we can pull it out over the urinal without touching it and that way eliminate the need to wash the hands, shortening the time spent in the lavatory by 76.39%." "Okay, that makes sense, but... if the string helps you get it out, how do you put it back in?" "Well," he whispered, lowering his voice even further, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

The following are all replies that women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details: These are genuine excerpts from the forms (names removed). I especially like the last one!! 1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by [name removed]. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night. 2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps. 3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party [address and date given] where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number? Thanks. 4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced. 5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again. 6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise. 7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket. 8. [name given] is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? 9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at EuroDisney maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom. 10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a programme about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at [address given], mine might have remained unfertilised. 11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a tin of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart!

Rob! since when in Australia you can,t have alcohol on site? that would be a fuck up Lol

Good day all, I have swapped out the DM Low Grav mod and have put in Redline for a bit. For those that have not played this before, this is a variant of MW and is nice mod, maps are decent although the number of available maps is limited. Server is currently running DM mode but if enough interest, can set it up for CTF. Map rotation map mp_mwm_alcatraz map mp_mwm_area51 map mp_mwm_area51n map mp_mwm_backlot map mp_mwm_colebroo map mp_mwm_dahar map mp_mwm_esb map mp_mwm_esbn map mp_mwm_industry map mp_mwm_outset map mp_mwm_red_dawn map mp_mwm_remont map mp_mwm_rus_vill map mp_mwm_sawmill map mp_mwm_scrap map mp_mwm_ybuena map mp_mwm_villa Check it out. Cheers

*****OUR ANNUAL FALLEN MEMBER MEMORIAL***** #December2Remember #Idiot4Life 2 DAY EVENT 12/12 - 12/13 start time ----> ( 2pm EST - 3pm EST ) As we approach the end of another year we must always look back to those who went before us and Celebrate the friendship of Our Fallen...While this event has been carried for over a decade Our list of Our fallen grows...In real life we have different roles we take part in but here is where we as a family come together day in and day out and share a bond that has been forged forever...It shall never rust,fade or dissolve as Our family continues to grow here and we shall never forget those who dedicated their free time to Our servers,Our community and Our family Group Photo's 4pm EST - 5pm EST depending on how many we have on server between those times...Please try to show up around then https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vdu8iygAG8U&feature=emb_logo (Video Compliments of Rockape>XI<) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ****OUR FALLEN**** MAY THEY REST IN PEACE Killa>XI< - Passed Away: 18/12/2008 Casper>XI< - Passed Away: 12/01/2013 RustyRifle>XI< - Passed Away: 10/04/2014 Dolphin>XI< - Passed Away: 29/11/2014 Bubbles>XI< - Passed Away: 08/11/'2016 Afroman>XI< - Passed Away: 08/11/2016 JohnnyQuest?>XI< - Passed Away: 09/09/2016 2CuteSue>XI< - Passed Away: 17/03/2017 CobraBites>XI< - Passed Away: 13/07/2017 AH1>XI< - Passed Away: 19/07/2017 USMale>XI< - Passed Away: 01/07/2018 MacDaddy>XI< - Passed Away: 22/02/2019 Dadda2>XI< - Passed Away: 20/12/2019 Johnny Dos>XI< - Passed Away: 18/1/2020 NumNutz>XI< - Passed Away: 11/4/2020 _Derxos_>XI< - Passed Away: 27/9/2020 Justice >XI< - Passed Away: 6/11/2020 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Everyone we have lost in this world has been a reminder to us all...To have fun,live life to its fullest and above everything else love each other despite our indifference and come together day in and out as one BIG OLE IDIOT FAMILY ! This year is just a special as every last ! We will be setting up a few different gametypes such as lib,ctf,dm on a new mod 2.9... For the most parts map packs are there and can be downloaded 63.251.20.230:28960 >XI< Fallen Member Memorial Fell free to join us on Teamspeak 192.95.39.66:9182 PW. crappy (link provided if you need to downlod) COD2 Channel ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ***SPECIAL NOTE*** Make sure to set your seta com_hunkMegs "512" as it is default160 and may be to low for some maps ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I would like to Personally thank everyone in advance for finding if at all possible to at least join us on one of the 2 days....We will be having a said time for a group gathering (to be announced) for a moment of silence and picture taking anyone wishing to run video,s is more then welcome to do so - Just upload to youtube or you can upload to WeTransfer and provide link with header "Xtremeidiots Fallen Member Memorial 2020" MAP ROTATION HERE gametype dm map mp_downtown gametype lib map mp_snowtown_beta gametype ctf map mp_brecourt gametype lib map mp_lflnchateau_lib gametype dm map mp_xi_kastle gametype lib map mp_outpost2_lib gametype dm map mp_xi_farm gametype ctf map mp_burgundy gametype tdm map mp_rhine gametype lib map mp_winter_bocage_lib gametype dm map mp_blockarena gametype tdm map islands gametype ctf map mp_railyard gametype dm map mp_dawgy gametype ctf map mp_devils_den_beta3 gametype lib map map mp_rushtown_lib_finale gametype ctf map mtl_raiders gametype dm map mp_leningrad gametype lib map mp_lflnchateau_lib gametype tdm map mp_decoy gametype lib map mp_matmata_lib gametype lib map mp_tigertown_lib gametype dm map mp_trainstation gametype tdm map mtl_pirates gametype ctf map mp_carentan gametype lib map mp_draguignan_lib gametype dm map mtl_the_rock gametype tdm map mp_toujane gametype ctf map mp_aquadukt2 gametype tdm map mp_daba gametype dm map mp_delta_mission gametype lib map mp_ol_ramelle

Thinking of you, your father and the rest of your family, @WeednFeed. I can tell you're as genuine as he is.

Lost my father last year in August, same situation minus the car wreck. My mother is not doing well and misses him every day. As do we. My father was a fantastic father too. My mother is too. But hang in there and we will definitely get the prayers out. Just enjoy what time you have left and keep in mind he is probably a little scared. I know my dad broke down and cried a few times with me, because he felt useless and was afraid. I was with my father when he passed. I had just told him I loved him, and that I would take care of mom and that he could let go. Told him I would see him soon. He passed a few minutes after.

To be clear, I'm not rushing to be injected with any new technology; my main complaint - if you can call it that - is the feverish sky-is-falling spin that is seemingly ubiquitous as the days progress. It's why I've avoided the news by & large & taken to listening to music or podcasts.

Actually you looked better then than now!!

Yea, I've put weight on since then ?

The Pfizer vaccine was approved today by the MHRA (medicines and healthcare regulatory agency) in the UK, with vaccination set to begin next week. However, Dr Mike Yeadon, former Chief Scientific Officer and Vice President of Allergy and Respiratory Research at Pfizer has released this statment : https://twitter.com/MichaelYeadon3/status/1333888419374772225 "After careful consideration I’ve joined Prof Wodarg in calling on EMA not to approve this development stage vaccine, for several reasons (see article). If you agree, pls use the email link at base of article to add your voice to that call. Pls retweet." Here is a link to the article : https://2020news.de/en/dr-wodarg-and-dr-yeadon-request-a-stop-of-all-corona-vaccination-studies-and-call-for-co-signing-the-petition/ Key quotes : "The formation of so-called “non-neutralizing antibodies” can lead to an exaggerated immune reaction". "It must be absolutely ruled out that a vaccine against SARS-CoV-2 could trigger an immune reaction against syncytin-1, as otherwise infertility of indefinite duration could result in vaccinated women." "The mRNA vaccines from BioNTech/Pfizer contain polyethylene glycol (PEG). 70% of people develop antibodies against this substance – this means that many people can develop allergic, potentially fatal reactions to the vaccination." "The much too short duration of the study does not allow a realistic estimation of the late effects. As in the narcolepsy cases after the swine flu vaccination, millions of healthy people would be exposed to an unacceptable risk" Article discussing swine flu payouts : https://www.theguardian.com/science/2017/feb/09/ministers-lose-fight-to-stop-payouts-in-swine-flu-jab-narcolepsy-cases More Doctors raising concerns : Dr. Clare Craig :https://twitter.com/ClareCraigPath/status/1334066246002892800 "Shameful. The trial is far from complete and even when complete will give no information as to the risks of death. Shame on the MHRA for throwing aside their usual criteria for approval and shame on the doctors not calling this out." https://twitter.com/ClareCraigPath/status/1332228543129022470 "My concerns about stimulating a harmful overreactive immune reaction have been written about by others and accepted for publication in a peer reviewed journal. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1111/ijcp.13795 ". A lot of links and quotes @Timmah! and there isn't really anything I can add as the science is above my pay grade. However when a former CSO of the very company that is bringing the first vaccine to market has grave concerns, I take note and have concerns myself. Let the ad hominems commence!

Picture from your childhood???

Have You Noticed.pps

That's the best offer he has ever gotten!!!

I love you Rob You are a trip

OK so Rob, intelligence comes from the mother. Also, genius skips a generation. (That is my excuse - genius dad and genius kids, me not so much... which is fine gives me more time to game and laugh and not have to worry so much about literally saving the world.)

Wash, rinse, spin...

wow that was a smack in the gob

Great drone shot Shaun now everyone knows it's all your fault!!!!!!! making us all want to live by a CEMETARY LOL

And the winner is - @BUDMAN - perfect timing for a few FU FU FU FU FU FU B-man

I happen to be listening to this (this post) and find the one in the other post... Same artist singer/guitarist, same song over a decade after, but two different style because he made it a new version. I like that idea !

For those that remember The League!~ Haha! This guy!

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